When the Wind Blows Page #4

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Oh, just look at all that glass.

No, no, it couldn't have

been a direct hit, dear.

We would have sustained greater damage

and suffered greater casualties.

Don't talk to me about damage.

Just look at those curtains!

Yes, but it would have been much

worse at the epi-hypo thing, dear.

I don't see how it could

have been much worse.

I'll never get them clean.

I'll give them a good soak tonight.

Blessed Germans!

Russkies, dear.

Mm! The shelter stood

up well, didn't it?

I constructed it in compliance

with governmental specifications.

- I hope the cushions aren't spoiled.

- I think some of them blew off in the blast.

I do like nice cushions.

Yes, but there's more important

things at the moment, ducks.

And curtains. Cushions and curtains.

I'd better get out and

put them in soak now.

- Stay in! Dear.

- Don't you shout at me, James.

But it's the whole point, dearest.

This is what the shelter's for.

But the blessed bomb

has gone off already.

Yes, but the fallout is

falling out now. See?

No, I don't see.

I can't see any soppy fallout.

I'm getting out.

- Just look at all that mess!

- No. No!

We must stay in.

We must do the correct thing.

Come on, now.

It's late. Let's get to bed.

Whatever is this box

of sand for, James?

It had better not be for

what I think it's for.

I've told you what I think

about that subject already.

Bomb or no bomb, Hitler or no Hitler,

I'm going to go to the

toilet in the proper manner!

No, dear, it's not an earth tray.

The governmental directive says

it's for cleaning plates, an'that.

Cleaning plates?

Why shouldn't we wash them properly,

and dry them on a nice clean tea towel?

We washed up properly

all through the war.

Well, it's to conserve emergency

water supplies, dear.

What is the world coming to?

- You see, dear...

- Tuck my feet in.

My old mother would

have a fit if she knew.

- Yes, but...

- Drying plates in an earth tray!

Catch me eating off a

plate covered in sand!

You'd be the first to complain.

Dear...

A bit of grit in your winkles and you're

spitting and splattering all over the place.

Tomorrow, you can put that thing outside

for someone's cat, where it belongs.

Ooh-er!

I'm getting fed up stuck in this thing!

I want to get out and tidy up!

Just look at all that mess out there!

We must do the correct thing, dear.

We must remain in the

inner core or refuge.

Ours not to reason why.

Our but to... something or other.

It tells you about this problem in the

County Council directive. I'll show you.

Let's see. Where is it?

Ah, yes. Here we are.

"During this period, reduced external stimuli

may produce problems of group behaviour."

Oh, yes, I see, dear.

"Steps to combat this may

include the following:

At intervals,

stimulate group activities."

Don't you dare start stimulating, James!

I'm not in the mood.

No, dear!

It means discussions, an' that.

It says, "Discussions, card games,

story-telling, quizzes, etcetera."

Perhaps we'd better

try story-telling.

You tell me one.

No, I can't. I'd feel funny.

You're not a baby.

- Well, pretend I am.

- Don't be silly.

- Go on.

- No.

You tell me one.

- I don't know any.

- There you are, then.

What about a quiz?

- I spy with my little eye...

- Oh, not that. It's childish, James.

Or it says here, "Discuss the

changed conditions after an attack,

and consider how to

overcome or adapt to them."

Well... et's start on that one, dear.

Who's going to start

the ball rolling, eh?

Shall I kick off, eh? Eh?

Right. Here goes.

I think... we could overcome the

changed conditions after an attack

by... all pulling our weight,

putting our shoulders to the wheel,

so that we all pull together,

now that our backs are against the wall.

And we can show these Jerries...

I mean Russkies,

just what we think of them.

And... Well, that's all, I think.

Hooray, James!

You ought to be a politician.

It says, "Reading aloud to

pass the time is a good idea."

It's a good job I got this

book from the public library.

It's called "Armageddon And You."

There's a terrific bit in it

about Western defences.

Now, just listen to this.

"There are three B.M.E. Ws...

Ballistic Missile Early

Warning systems.

One P.R.C. S... Perimeter Acquisition

Radar Attack Characterisation System.

Then there's N.O.R.A. D...

North American Air Defense.

And J.S. S...

Joint Surveillance System.

And then seven R.O.C. Cs...

Regional Operation Control Centres.

Then there's N.A.D.G. E...

Nato Air Defence Ground Environment,

and several A. W.C. S...

Airborne Warning and Control Systems.

All this is controlled by the N.C. A...

National Command Authority,

by means of the N.M.C. S...

National Military Command System.

And A.M.C. C...

Alternative Military Command Centre.

And N.E.A.C. C... National Emergency

Airborne Command Centre.

And it all comes under W. W.M.C.C. S...

Worldwide Military Command & Control System.

We should be all right with that

lot looking after us, eh, ducks?

Well, it didn't stop them

from bombing us, did it?

Oh... well, no...

I suppose not, really.

Still, just think,

it might have been worse.

Got to look on the

bright side, ducks.

Besides, another thing the powers

that be have created is called M.A.D.

- Mad?

- Yes, M.A.D.

M.A.D. Mutal Assured Destruction.

I read about it in

the public library.

I think my old dad was in the

Mutual Assured Insurance.

- A penny a week it was, in those days.

- This isn't insurance, ducks.

I think it covered the

cost of the funeral.

Yes, well, I suppose this is similar.

It all comes out of our taxes.

He had a lovely funeral, our dad.

You don't pay any taxes now.

You're retired, James.

No, I'm fully paid up.

My funeral is fully assured.

Time we went to bed.

It's getting dark.

I'll sleep in my clothes.

It's an all-out war situation.

I might be called out in the

night for an emergency.

They may need all able-bodied

men at short notice.

They'll soon change their minds when

they see your pot-bellied little body.

Morning, dear.

- How do you feel?

- Oh, dear.

- I ache all over.

- So do I.

I've got a terrific headache.

Oh... I still feel so tired.

Never mind, ducks. It's probably shock.

The bomb, an' that.

Oh, it's bound to upset us a bit.

After all, you don't get a nuclear

bomb every day of the week, do you?

Just as well. Never knew a

bomb could give you headaches.

Oh, yes, ducks. I told you these bombs

have a terrific effect on all sorts of things.

Right. A nice cup of

tea will perk you up.

Funny. They've cut the water off.

Still, that's logical.

It might be contaminated.

It's a wise precaution for the

protection of the population.

Use the bottles, dear.

Oh, yes, of course.

The emergency reserve supplies.

Most of them seem to have

been broken in the blast, dear.

The contents have been dissipated.

Funny. The electric's off, too.

Still, bound to be.

Conservation of energy resources.

A wise governmental precaution during

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