When We First Met Page #2

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- Hey, Carrie.

- I've got a shoot tomorrow morning.

So I was wondering,

cool if I can leave a little early?

Maybe you can take Noah home.

He's a little... He shouldn't be driving.

- I'm fine.

- Candid.

You don't look fine. You look like sh*t.

You know, uh, honestly,

I- I'll take an Uber.

- Cool.

- Hey, Avery!

Oh. Yeah. One second.

Um, really? Are you sure?

Yeah. I-I'm actually not...

Feel better, okay? Thank you. Bye, Carrie.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Ooh. That had my Uber on it.

You really are a mess.

All right, fine. Let's go.

Oh, they're so beautiful.

Let's go, train wreck.

Mm-hmm.

You stole an Avery-Ethan plate? You dork.

- Candid!

- You delete that. Okay?

Don't want any evidence

that this ever happened.

Nope. Sorry.

I photograph weddings for a living.

Capturing misery and regret is what I do.

- Perfect.

- What is your deal tonight anyway?

It's kind of a long story,

so I'd rather not get into it.

Yeah, okay. Cool.

Oh, you don't want to hear it?

- Yeah, 'cause I don't want to tell you.

- Okay.

Fine. I'll tell you.

All right?

Frickin' drag it out of me, why don't you?

It has to do with the fact that I'm...

in love with Avery.

Are you serious?

Why would you go to a party

celebrating their engagement then?

I guess I just wanted to prove

that I could do it,

that I'm not gonna spend my life obsessed

over the fact I missed my shot with her.

- You're doing great with that so far.

- You know what, Carrie?

I am.

I am, considering the facts,

and I'll be doing even more better

when I find my...

- Dignity?

- Oop!

Oh!

Jack Daniel's.

- Okay.

- The nectar of the gods.

You're a real sad sack of sh*t right now.

Can I tell you a story?

Has to do with when Avery and I first met.

Just give me the abridged version.

It all started three years

and one day ago.

The year was 2014.

A time filled with hope and dreams.

I can still remember the exact pitch

of her laugh.

- That's not how it happened.

- I think you're mistaken.

No, I was at that party.

I was just... preoccupied.

Wait. Where are we?

We are at my home, sister.

No, this is a bar. I'm not your...

- Oh, I'm dr...

- Noah, get back in.

Oh!

- Je...

- You okay?

- I'm fine.

- Jesus Christ.

- No, I'm not Jesus Christ, I'm Noah.

- Oh. Okay.

- Get in the truck.

- No, I need to keep my buzz going.

Get... Oh!

- I'll take it.

- Seriously?

Think you should sit down.

Sorry. So sorry.

- There's my friend Max.

- Noah!

Oh, my God, you are drunk.

Gotta get you some help. Excuse me.

Can we get some ginger whiskey,

a blueberry Red Bull, and who is this?

You didn't pick up an escort, did you?

You are very lovely.

- Hey, I'm Max.

- And I'm leaving.

I have a photo shoot

in Lafayette Park tomorrow morning.

That's where I take my wedding photos.

'Cause I am a photographer, not an escort.

What a coincidence, 'cause my office

actually overlooks that park.

Oh, yeah! That big dumb building full

of douche bags.

Yeah. I'm the vice president

of the douche bags.

- You're obviously in great hands.

- No, no, no, no, no.

You gotta hear the rest of the story.

'Cause this is the part

that gets truly tragic.

You know when you are about

to fulfill your destiny?

I waited too long, and then I got hugged.

- You're so awesome.

- Mmm.

Oh, this is so nice to have

a good guy friend, I can't even tell you.

I left never knowing

what went wrong.

- Bye!

- Bye.

But I figured I would at least

get a second chance with her.

Until fate...

kicked me in my ball sack

the very next day

when she met Ethan.

Can I help you with that?

And you know why

she needed more cereal?

Because I ate all of her Cookie Crisp.

Like a... chubby, nine-year-old slob.

Wow. Your mental recollection

of that moment feels super-accurate.

- Ethan has nothing on you.

- He kinda does.

- He's, like, the nicest guy ever.

- He's, like, Mormon nice.

But that night, me and Avery,

we had something, and it was real.

We bonded. We were laughing.

And she said I was cute.

Okay, cute? You're clinging to cute.

Noah, my little brother's cute.

That doesn't mean I wanna have sex...

I'm not...

You get it.

I get that you have sexual thoughts

about your little brother,

and I also get that you're mean.

You can tell that I'm in

an emotional state right now.

Noah, relationships are all about energy

and attraction and intangible things,

things beyond your control.

Okay, you may be a great guy,

but you were never gonna

be that guy to Avery.

I just think it's, you know,

time to move on.

I've been telling him for three years.

You have something on your lips.

- Let me get it with mine.

- Does that ever work for you?

- Yes.

- It does, yes.

And with that, Max can take it from here.

Feel better, Noah.

It was lovely meeting you, by the way.

We'll talk soon, at dinner or something.

- Doubtful.

- She's right.

Why would Avery ever want to be with me?

Look at me.

Look at me, Maxie. I got a Play-Doh face.

People love your Play-Doh face.

I got a disgusting face.

Noah, I hate seeing you like this.

Let's get you out of here. On your feet.

Whoo!

Oh! Oh!

Help me help you.

Ooh, here's a tip.

Here's a tip from my tip jar.

Don't fall in love!

She's gonna rip your heart out!

So sorry about my friend.

You okay? You all right?

- Focus. Focus.

- Where are we going?

I'm gonna go score us a ride.

Just sit tight.

- Um... Okay.

- What are you doing?

I'm... Okay, look...

- I'm sitting tight, baby!

- All right! Sit tight!

Oh. My old friend the photo booth.

Let's give her a spin.

Yeah, still have these after three years.

You truly are a sad sack of sh*t.

If only I could have a chance...

to do everything different,

I could be the kind of guy she would want.

I could be exactly the kind of guy

Avery would end up with.

Oh, son of a b*tch.

Mmm.

What a crazy dream.

Hey, little witch.

Halloween was two days ago.

Piss off.

What the hell?

Halloween lasts a week now?

It's good to be a kid today.

All right, 75 cents, your change.

There you are. Thanks.

Could I get a big-ass bottle of Advil

and a blueberry Red Bull, please?

No problem.

Hey, um...

- Could you tell me what day it is?

- It's Halloween.

Yeah, but, I mean... Halloween...

has definitely already happened, so...

And what year is it?

It's 2014.

Now, do you need anything else?

Yeah.

Okay, uh...

you know...

could I just get my blueberry Red Bull

so I can get going?

Red Bull doesn't make

a blueberry flavor though.

Just makes one flavor. Red Bull.

That's their flavor. Red Bull.

Red Bull... Red Bull...

Holy sh*t.

You all right?

Ohh!

Hey, where you going, man?

Max! Excuse me.

Hi.

Hey. Max? No? You know Max?

Max!

Yo. Over here.

Corporate Asset Management.

Please hold.

- I gotta talk.

- And I gotta listen.

But you got 15 seconds, tops.

Something unexplainable

is happening to me, Max.

Look at all these papers. They all

have the exact same date on them.

Where am I?

How did I get here?

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