Where the Money Is Page #3

want to get me in trouble.

[Man] N43.

Ah.

There you are,

Mr. Manning.

- Did they say B 13?

- No, dear, it was G.

- I don't think so.

- Oh, I'm quite sure of it, dear.

It was G.

- I heard D.

- I don't want to argue about it anymore.

G for George.

- Did you say B 13?

- I really don't want to argue

about this, you know.

It was G.

Oh, look.

Mr. Manning

has a bingo.

Lucky man.

I can't find

my weddin' ring.

Oh, don't worry, dear.

It'll turn up.

I don't know. And I always

hide it in the same place.

- Well, I'm sure it'll turn up, dear.

- I don't know.

- You mustn't worry.

- I'm so forgetful these days.

- No.

- I couldn't find it anywhere.

I've lost a lot of

things like that,

and I just can't figure out

what happens to them.

- Oh, my... Oh!

- Let me help you. Hold on a minute.

He's landed on his head.

- Did he croak?

- No. I think he just got

a little bit lazy.

He'll be all right now.

Well, you lucked out.

That's all I can say.

I lucked out?

How about we lucked out?

Hmm.

So now you're just gonna

lay off, right?

Right?

Carol, everything's back

where it was.

Don't screw it up again,

okay?

Okay.

[Thunder Rumbling]

Hey!

Okay, got the money?

What do you mean,

you didn't bring it?

You son of a b*tch!

What the hell are you doin' here?

Hey!

[Thunder Rumbling]

Ahh!

[Shoe Squeaks]

Shh.

Is there anything

I can do?

Yeah. Scrape up a million bucks,

then hijack a plane.

So what happened? Did your partner

run out with your money?

My partner's dead.

Before he went, I was in the slammer,

and he got in touch...

and asked me what I

wanted to do with my money.

So I told him, Let your kid

hold it for me.

Cute kid. Taught him

how to hustle gin rummy.

You know what that cute kid

just told me?

If I come around or try anything,

he's gonna drop a dime.

Man, am I beat.

Try not to make noise

in the morning.

It's your day off,

right?

Yeah, but Kitty's moving.

I told her I'd help her.

Well, that sucks.

I know,

but I owe her a favor.

I can't

get out of it now.

Are you quitting?

Gonna try.

I can't understand

these instructions.

Honey, I'm trying

to read this.

Hey, Carol.

I thought I'd

come back later,

- give you a ride on my hog.

- That's good, Karl.

But if you're gonna compare your crank

to a bike, you should get a scooter.

[Starts Motor]

[Screeching]

[Explosion, Crash]

I can't look.

- [Motor Putters, Stops]

- Oh, dear.

Oh, my God.

It's okay.

He's getting up.

Hold on a minute.

No, he's out.

He's gonna need a good dentist.

[Laughing]

It's a matter of getting

too attached.

I know, but it's just that he doesn't

have family like the others.

I understand, but it'll be

that much harder...

when they transfer him back

to a prison hospital.

When?

They promised me there'll be

a bed opening up soon.

You look like

we're going someplace.

It's a surprise.

- Is that a nicotine patch?

- Mm-hmm.

I didn't want you using yourself

as an ashtray again.

Thanks.

Here you go.

Here you go.

- Nice little getaway for you.

- I don't need a round trip.

A bank.

Thanks.

So what do you think?

- I should've ordered pancakes.

- I mean about the bank.

What, they're giving away

free toaster ovens.

Can you imagine what kind

of moron it takes...

to open a bank account

in order to get a free toaster oven?

- Think we could knock that place off?

- Beg your pardon?

Do you think we could

knock that place off?

- Who?

- You and me.

Honey, I am playing brain-dead,

not brain-damaged.

Tell me, how can you go from just

taking care of dead people...

to what I'm

listening to now?

- You're the one who said

I needed a new town.

- When?

When we were dancing...

and you said me and Wayne

didn't make sense anymore.

You wanna save your marriage by robbing

a bank. Why don't you go see a priest?

- That's not what I'm saying.

- What are you saying?

I'm saying...

I'm gonna wake up one morning

wearing diapers,

sucking lime Jell-O

through a straw,

and I'm gonna wonder

where my life went.

I'm the one

who's dead here.

I gotta...

do something.

Stick to lap dancing.

[Door Opens]

Is everything

okay here?

Yeah,

everything's okay here.

I'm not so sure about

out there.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Um, I want

a toaster oven.

Great. Let's just get you

a new-account application.

Oh, no, no.

I don't want to open a new account.

I just want

a toaster oven.

Oh, well,

that's the thing, see.

First, you have to open up

a new account, $500 minimum,

and then you get

a toaster oven.

[Snickers]

Farwell.

- Can I call you Farwell?

- Please.

You know something?

- I used to be the prom queen.

- Really?

- I'm not surprised.

- But the sad fact is,

prom queen, it doesn't

really prepare you for much in life.

It's been kind of

downhill ever since.

I'm not saying I'm bitter. I'm just

saying that I don't have much time.

And there's only one thing that's gonna

make me feel good about myself again.

Toast.

Uh, I'm afraid

I don't understand.

- Then give me a toaster oven.

- Sorry, ma'am, l...

I don't wanna have

to get ugly on you, Farwell.

Hurry.

God, I need a cigarette.

[Laughs]

Wonder if they have this

in black?

Baked potatoes,

450 degrees for 45 minutes.

That's your idea

of a bank job, huh?

[Laughs]

Cakes in medium tins...

Hey, you flashed your knockers,

you got a toaster.

350 degrees for 30 minutes.

If you'd have dropped your panties,

you might have got a cast-iron stove.

And defrosted pastries...

Who knows? A whole kitchen,

for Christ's sake.

15 minutes at 325.

[Tires Screech]

Excuse me.

You're up.

Here's what I think of

your goddamn bank robbery.

It says you're not supposed

to immerse it in water.

Hey, you ain't listenin'.

What I'm sayin' is, however easy

it looks, you got a job to do.

Meaning?

Do your homework.

Ah.

[Car Door Opens, Closes]

Hey.

Hey. How was the move?

It was a pain in the ass.

Hey, you know what? You're gonna

get grease on your clothes.

- Something wrong?

- No.

You should've seen it. They looked

like bees coming to gather up pollen,

so I followed them

back to the hive.

A depository, Henry,

where the banks bank.

The only one around

for a hundred miles.

That's a lot of honey, honey.

How's that for homework?

Good on the money,

not so good on the choice.

Five years ago, maybe,

but today you'd need an army.

We hit the armored car,

get the money before it gets in.

I must be goin' nuts.

- It'd be tough with two.

- Hmm.

[Carol On Answering Machine] Hi,

honey, it's me. I'm still with Kitty.

Um, I'll be home

a little later, okay?

[Beeps]

- Whoa! Whoa!

- [Tires Screeching]

Hey, Wayne, where do you think

you're going?

- You all right there, buddy?

- Yep.

Just checking.

By the way, that was a stop sign

back there.

Oh, yeah?

- Okay. Say hi to Carol.

- Yep.

[Engine Revs]

[Tires Screeching]

- Hi.

- Hi, Kitty.

[Man On P.A.] Sign up for our

bargain shopping trip...

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