Where the Money Is Page #4

to the outlet center

next Tuesday.

There are eight more places

available, so don't delay.

Lady.

I've had enough of this.

Irma, take Diane for me

for a minute.

- No!

- Please? I'll owe you one.

- One?

- Just do it.

[Straining]

Come on.

Wayne, what are we doin'?

I'd like to know what you think

you're doing with my wife.

You stay away from her.

I'll clean your clock.

From now on, if you know what's good

for you, she gives you your medicine,

she takes your temperature

and that's it.

Wayne, what are you doing? What are

you doing? You can't do this here!

Why not? I can do

whatever the hell I want!

- Shh! You're gonna blow everything.

- I'm gonna blow everything?

What about you, the other day

in your damn car?

- Don't bother lying. I saw you.

- Shh!

We have to talk.

It's not what you think,

if that's what you're thinking.

- Tell me about it.

- Okay.

- We're working together.

- What are you talking about?

We're doing a job

together.

- What job?

- A bank job.

You expect me

to believe that?

- Yes.

- Okay, so you don't want

to screw the old guy.

You just want to

rob a bank with him.

No. It's just

an armored car.

Oh. Just one of those

steel-plated trucks,

bulletproof glass, a couple guys

inside with shotguns, Carol?

That's exactly why we were gonna

ask you to do it with us,

- but you didn't give us a chance.

- Us? What do you mean, us?

- Me and Henry.

- Carol, we're us. He's just him.

- Honey...

- I'm gonna tell that son of a b*tch...

No! It was my idea.

Yeah? Well, you never wanted

to rob a bank until he came along.

- Henry, what are you doing here?

- How am I gonna run the sprinklers...

- when you leave your people

all over the place?

- I don't know. Shoot!

Thanks, man.

Figured you'd be here.

- How come you couldn't just be

a compulsive shopper?

- Let's go home.

- I can deal with that.

- Let's go home.

Watch it.

You know the conclusion

I've come to?

It doesn't matter

what I think.

You get something in your head,

you're gonna do it.

Right?

What am I gonna do,

tie you to a tree or...

have you put away till you get

your head straightened out?

I'll tell you

what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna do it with you.

You are?

You're damn right, I am.

- That's great. That's exactly...

- No, no. Hold on.

I'm not doing it

'cause you want me to.

I'm doing it

'cause I want to, okay?

And another thing.

If I'm in, you listen to me, not him.

- [Opens Door]

- And...

[Sighs]

After this,

we can go back to normal, right?

No... No more robberies.

You got it?

Got it.

You said

we could use a third.

No, I didn't.

I said it would be tough with two.

You should've seen him

on the football field.

He was so clutch.

He always

kept his head.

He didn't keep his head

yesterday.

What did you expect?

He saw us in the car together.

I lied to him.

Of course he went nuts.

I mean, what if it

were reversed?

What if it were

you and me?

You would've flattened him

right in his wheelchair...

in the TV room, in front of

all the little old ladies.

You should give Wayne

some credit for self-control.

- Hey, don't push it.

- Okay.

Try this.

Either he's in or I'm out.

Ohh! Amateur hour.

If anybody had ever told me

a husband and wife amateur hour...

But one thing clear.

If anything goes sour, I'm gone.

I will take my chances,

rifle the soda machine,

take a goddamn cab,

you got that?

Got it.

Gas station.

Oh, Rite Buy supermarket.

Fifteen checkout lanes,

open twenty-four hours a day.

You do the math.

Gas station.

[Wayne] Oh, this next one's mine.

That's that sports bar

where they got all the sports channels.

Yeah, but nobody spends

any money in there.

Hey, well, at least

it's not a gas station.

People pay cash for gas, honey.

It's a good idea.

Hey, it's a nice show, guys,

but you got it backwards.

You don't rob the route.

You rob the crew.

[Henry] When you see a pair

of Boy Scouts...

marching around with their hands

in their holsters, just stay away.

What you're looking for

is a couple of real oafs.

Hey, baby,

how you doin'?

Hi.

You see that?

She smiled at me.

I'm tellin' ya,

women never leave me alone.

You mean they were

both out of the truck?

- [Laughs]

- Bingo.

So we hit these guys

at the end of their shift,

- we're golden, right?

- No.

But it's perfect.

These guys are idiots.

The more money they're carrying,

the quicker their fingers

will be on the trigger.

We take it with

the beginning of the shift,

- when they're really not

paying attention.

- Truck's gonna be empty.

We have our work cut out

for us then, don't we?

I think we should...

have a little picnic

for the ladies.

So the times we took you out

won't seem so suspicious.

- Bingo too.

- Uh, I'm gonna sit this one out, okay?

- Whoo!

- [Applause, Chattering]

9.9!

- Nine.

- Five.

- Huh?

- You didn't keep your feet together!

- I did too!

- You certainly did not!

- Yes, I did!

- [Carol Laughing]

Makeup stuff, duct tape.

It's all on the list.

I want you to get in touch

with a guy by the name of Lewis.

He's a friend of mine.

- Okay.

- He'll get the gun guys.

Number is right there. That's it.

Hey, Wayne.

Be cool

with these guys, huh?

I got it.

Look 'em in the eye,

but not like you're gonna

remember their faces.

You think you can do that?

No problem.

- [Turns Engine Off]

- Are you sure this is the place?

Yeah.

That's what he told me.

Are you up for this?

Hmm? Oh, yeah.

I can handle it.

How's this?

Don't squint so much.

Right, okay.

Leave the key in the ignition.

Lock the door.

Hey.

- Be careful.

- I will.

Got a cigarette?

Uh, I quit.

[Chuckles]

You got the money?

[Wayne] Oh, yeah. Um...

- Well, let's go.

- Where to?

You don't really wanna

do this now, do ya?

No... I mean, yeah.

- Let's just do it.

- All right, come on. Let's go.

[Carol] Oh, my God.

[Keys Jingling]

[Gasps]

Jesus!

It's a done deal.

Let's go.

I'm supposed to tell you

Wayne did fine.

The way I heard it, he just barely

didn't soil his shorts.

- Yeah, well, he's still clutch.

- Ah.

- See you Monday night after bed check.

- That's it?

Yeah, that's it.

[Sighs]

I guess that's it.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Grand theft auto.

We are now officially

on the wrong path.

[TV:
Engine Running]

- We have to get ready.

- Just a second.

Ah!

So, how is everybody?

Pretty good.

Uh, pretty good.

- [Turns Engine Off]

- What are you doing?

You gonna see if she's okay?

- [Vomiting]

- Oh.

Oh, yeah. Maybe I, uh...

- [Groans]

- Honey?

Goddamn

nicotine patches.

Let's get going.

In five hours, I gotta be back

in my little bed.

- You put a little peanut butter

on the trap, that's all.

- And they go for it?

- Cheese they know about 'cause...

- Drop everything.

Hands on the truck.

[Wayne] You heard the man.

Get in the van. Get that door open.

[Wayne] Let's go.

[Henry] Go on. Get up.

- Right on schedule.

- Good. We gotta stay that way.

We get behind,

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