White Christmas Page #5

and if I find those two Haynes sisters

there, I'm gonna take them by the hair

and with these two hands I'm...

Mr. Wallace,

how can we ever thank you?

It was really so sweet

and generous of you.

Mr. Davis told us you insisted

on giving us the tickets,

and, well, it was just wonderful of you.

Wasn't there something

you wanted to say to the girls?

Yeah. Won't you have a drink

or a sandwich or something?

- Let's sit down.

- Yeah, sit down.

Can we have some club sandwiches?

- I'd like lemonade, please.

- I'll have a malt, please.

- We're emceeing the joint.

- This is cozy, boy, girl, girl, boy.

Tell me, where are you kids

going to stay in New York?

We're not staying in New York.

We're booked for over the holidays.

- Where?

- The Columbia Inn, Pine Tree, Vermont.

That sounds very Vermont-y.

Should be beautiful this time

of the year in Vermont,

- all that snow and everything.

- Yeah, yeah, beautiful.

The fir trees, the clean pine air.

Very beautiful. Just what we need.

Wonderful. Could you come up

for a couple of days?

Well, I don't know...

I wish you could.

It would be awfully nice.

Miss Haynes,

if you're ever under a falling building

and somebody runs up

and offers to pick you up

and carry you to safety, don't think,

don't pause, don't hesitate a moment,

just spit in his eye.

- What did that mean?

- It means we're going to Vermont.

Oh, boy!

Might not be bad at that, you know.

The snow-covered slopes, the skiing,

Christianas and the stemming

and the platzing and the schussing.

Hot buttered rum,

light on the butter, snow.

- Snow, snow

- Snow, snow

Snow

It won't be long

Before we'll all be there with snow

Snow, snow

I want to wash my hands

My face and hair with snow

Snow, I long to clear a path

And lift a spade of snow

Snow, oh

To see a great big man

Entirely made of snow

Snow

Where it's snowing all winter through

That's where I want to be

Snowball throwing

That's what I'll do

How I'm longing to ski

- Through the snow

- Snow

Those glistening houses

That seem to be built of snow

Snow, oh

To see a mountain covered

With a quilt of snow

- What is Christmas with no snow?

- What is Christmas with no snow?

- No white Christmas with no snow

- No snow

- Snow

- Snow

I'll soon be there with snow

I'll wash my hair with snow

And with a spade of snow

I'll build a man that's made of snow

I'd love to stay up with you

But I recommend a little shuteye

Go to sleep

And dream

- Of snow

- Snow

- Snow, snow

- Snow, snow

Snow

Pine Tree. Coming in to Pine Tree.

- Hi.

- Good morning, merry sunshine.

- How did you sleep?

- Like a baby.

I always love sleeping on trains.

Yeah? You remember

Nanook of the North.

You wound up on the shelf?

Must've lost the toss.

- Let me help you down.

- All right.

- Let's go visit the firemen.

- Yes.

- Your strategy's a little obvious.

- You don't really mind, do you?

- But I got a flash for you.

- What?

She's a real slow mover.

Honey, I got a flash right back for you.

She's in there with the champ.

Looks like our work's cut out for us.

Will you leave it to me?

I've got a whole plan worked out.

Come on, let's go.

Hey! Hey, Bob, Betty, Judy, come here.

I think we took the wrong train.

- What?

- What's the matter?

Well, it's all green out here.

We're still in Carolina.

They must have

grass-covered igloos up here.

- Here, honey.

- Let me help you with that.

- This is warmer than Florida.

- Where's the beach?

We should have brought

our bathing suits.

- You all right, honey?

- Yeah.

Is this Vermont,

New England's winter playground?

- You sure this is the right Vermont?

- This must be southern Vermont.

- I just don't understand it.

- Ask Cisco here.

Where's the snow? This is supposed

to be America's snow playground.

We haven't had snow since

Thanksgiving. Sixty-eight yesterday.

Car for Columbia Inn this way.

- That's us. Let's go.

- Yeah.

Well, must be wonderful up

in Vermont this time of the year.

All that underwear!

Gosh, I hope

I can take the electric blanket back.

- Where do you got that?

- Under the underwear.

You'll get a nice tan.

- Snow, snow

- Snow, snow

Snow

It won't be long

Before we'll all be there with...

Little old snowflakes

Eskimo pie

Chocolate and vanilla for you and I

- Well...

- It's real nice.

- Aren't you glad you came now?

- Very Vermont-y.

You'll be able to do all the schussing

and the platzing and everything, see?

We hope to find the snow here.

Welcome to Columbia Inn. What sort

of accommodations would you like?

I can offer you a fairly wide choice.

Any room in the inn, including mine.

We're not here as guests.

We're the Haynes Sisters.

My friend and I are guests.

We came up for the snow.

- Where are you keeping it?

- Well, we take it in during the day.

I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid

we won't be able to use you.

We'll pay you the half salary

for canceling.

Well, are things really that bad?

We're using the ski tow

to hang the wash on.

You aren't gonna stay either, are you?

Well, if the girls are leaving,

I'll just get the luggage here.

Thank you, sir.

General Waverly!

- Sir.

- At ease.

- How are you, Captain?

- I'm fine, General, but...

We just try to keep

the "general" part quiet.

Why? Begging your pardon, sir.

Well, to put it in one sentence,

people don't expect a major general

to carry firewood.

Bob, I was just thinking... Hi. I was...

Private Davis, sir.

At ease, Davis.

General Waverly! A janitor!

- Never thought I'd make it?

- Yes, sir. Sir.

You could do anything

you put your mind to, sir.

But a janitor!

Matter of fact, it's worse than that.

I own this hotel.

- A landlord.

- He got it in a shrewd business move.

If I start the introductions,

- can I get to meet these young ladies?

- Why, sure.

My housekeeper, Miss Emma Allen.

My granddaughter, Susan Waverly.

- Susan.

- Hello.

- We're the Haynes Sisters.

- Your floor show.

Don't worry, I've already told them

we'd have to cancel.

Why? We have a floor, haven't we?

Last time I looked.

But who are they gonna sing to?

Well, even if it's only to you and me,

it'll be well worth it.

Besides, there'll be six inches of snow

tonight. We'll be full up tomorrow.

Is that the weather forecast?

No, but if there was one thing I learned

in the Army, it was to be positive,

especially when you don't know

what you're talking about.

General Waverly, we want you to know

that you needn't feel obligated.

- I mean, since there's no snow...

- Nonsense. We've made a contract.

Your first performance

is tonight at 8:
00.

- Be there or I'll sue!

- Here.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,

I'm on KP.

- Yes, sir.

- Yes, sir.

Those who've seen us

Know that not a thing

Could come between us

Many men have tried to split us up

But no one can

Lord help the mister

Who comes between me and my sister

And Lord help the sister

Who comes between me and my man

We ate, and then he ate.

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