White Christmas Page #6

We slept, then he slept.

Yeah, then he woke up

and nobody slept for 48 hours.

Sisters

Sisters

- Hi, girls.

- Hi.

You know what?

I think Bob and I could give you

some pointers on that Sister number.

- I don't like the wardrobe.

- But it's so purdy.

Isn't this awful? It's like

taking money under false pretenses.

Emma, couldn't you talk him into

letting us work for half salary?

Not Light Horse Harry.

"Advance, advance, never retreat."

- He's advancing into bankruptcy.

- How deep's he in here?

He sunk everything,

his pension, his life savings,

everything in remodeling this place!

It used to be a gristmill and a barn.

Now, it's a Tyrolean haunted house.

Well, eat hearty!

There ought to be

something we can do about it.

Well, there is. We're going

to New York in the morning.

- New York?

- But you just got here!

We got some connections there,

some good ones.

We can dig him up a spot somewhere.

Yeah, but that takes too long.

The problem is here, now.

We've got to stay up here

and dream up some way

of getting people

to come into this place.

- What do you suggest?

- I don't know.

It should be something unusual,

some kind of a novelty...

Tell me, brainstorm, what do you think

would be a novelty up here in Vermont?

Who knows?

Maybe we can dig up a Democrat?

They'd stone him!

Well, if you ask me, what this place

really needs is a dynamite act.

Now, you're talking.

If we could get something really big.

- Something sock, like...

- Like Wallace and Davis.

No, honey, you couldn't get them.

They're too big.

Wait a minute. Wallace and Davis.

How about that, Bob?

We could do our old nightclub act,

fit the girls in here and there.

- Might be wonderful. What do you say?

- I think you got something.

It's a great idea.

It's half a great idea, anyhow.

Will you excuse me? Young lady,

get me the New York operator.

OK, Mr. Wallace. This way.

I don't know what he's up to,

but he's got that

Rodgers & Hammerstein look again.

- Is that bad?

- Not bad, but always expensive.

Excuse me.

I know it sounds crazy, Al,

but you're working for crazy people.

Now, get this straight. I want

the whole show up here in three days.

Yeah, the whole show. Sets, costumes

and all the cast you can round up.

Hey, wait a minute.

What's this gonna cost?

Everybody gets an extra week's pay

and you get a bonus, Al.

- What's this gonna cost?

- We open Christmas Eve.

The tab! How much?

Al, what's this gonna set us back?

- Wow!

- How much is "wow"?

Well, OK, Al, do the best you can.

Good luck.

- How much is "wow"?

- We got a big job, buster, a big job.

Whatever acts we can't get,

we fill in with the Haynes Sisters.

- How much is "wow"?

- Right in between "ouch" and "boing."

- Wow! I'm right behind you.

- Come along.

I won't tell the general,

you do it your own way,

but I think bringing your show up here

is just one of the nicest...

How did you know?

Well, like any decent,

self-respecting housekeeper,

I listen in on the other phone.

I just don't know what to say.

- He thought of it.

- Well, it was a lovely thought.

- Wow!

- Let's get hold of yourself. Come on.

Hurry up, kids. Check in the lobby

for your room numbers.

Put your bags backstage.

Everybody grab his own suitcases.

Let's not get mixed up now.

The wardrobe trunk's in the hall.

Let's go, let's go, we got to get

started hanging those drapes.

All right, kids, find your rooms,

get settled.

Get your rehearsal costumes on. We

start rehearsals right after breakfast.

I still don't understand it. You mean

you brought your whole show up here?

- Well, most of it, sir.

- Well, it's still not clear to me. Why?

Well, we have this show. Now,

we have to close down for the holidays,

lay the cast off, and business is bad...

I know about business being bad. Go on.

Well, we figured

since we had a chance to rehearse,

we might as well do

our rehearsing up here.

Why here?

Well, you've got this nice

big empty ski lodge,

and the minute Phil and I saw it, we

decided it was ideal. Didn't we, Phil?

That's right, Bob. Ideal.

That's exactly the word we used, too.

Ideal. We looked at this big ski lodge

and we said, "Isn't it ideal?

- Absolutely ideal." Didn't we?

- Ideal.

We've established the fact

the lodge is ideal.

And it gives us a chance, you see,

sir, to test new material.

- On what?

- On the audience.

We use them like guinea pigs.

Pigs, we can get for you.

I'm not so sure about people.

Well, with all due modesty, sir,

Wallace and Davis never had

any trouble packing them in, sir.

- People that is, not pigs.

- Well, go ahead, if you want to.

Apparently, there's quite a bit about

show business I don't understand.

- It'll come to you, sir.

- Just takes time.

Sure. We wouldn't be

any good as generals.

You weren't any good as privates.

All right, kids,

take it from the top once again.

That's right, that's it.

All right, keep it lively.

All right, let's keep it going.

That's good.

Keep it up there, honey.

Move that lumber over, fellas.

Take it over on the other side.

I'd rather see a minstrel show

Than any other show I know

Oh, those comical folks

With their riddles and jokes

Here is the riddle that I love the best

Why does a chicken go...

- You know the rest

- Yes, sir

I'd pawn my overcoat and vest

To see a minstrel show

Mr. Bones, Mr. Bones

How do you feel, Mr. Bones?

Rattling

Mr. Bones feels rattling

Ha, ha, that's a good one

Tell a little story, Mr. Bones

A funny little story, Mr. Bones

How can you stop an angry dog

From biting you on Monday?

That joke is old

The answer is to kill the dog on Sunday

That's not the way to stop a dog

From biting you on Monday

How would you bring the thing about?

Have the doggie's teeth pulled out

Oh, Mr. Bones, that's terrible

Yes, Mr. Bones, that's terrible

- Mr. Interloc'ter

- What is wrong with you?

- Well, I know of a doctor

- Tell about him, do

Sad to say one day he fell

Right into a great big well

- Oh, that's too bad

- But not at all

Why speak in such a tone?

He should have attended to the sick

And let the well alone

That's a joke

That was told

In the minstrel days we miss

When Georgie Primrose used to sing

And dance to a song like this

Mandy

Mandy

Mandy

Mandy

There's a minister handy

And it sure would be dandy

If we let him make a fee

So don't you linger

Here's a ring for your finger

Isn't it a humdinger?

Come along and let the wedding chimes

Bring happy times for Mandy and me

Mandy, what a gal

Oh, Mandy

There's a minister handy

And it sure would be dandy

If we let him make a fee

He's got his rent to pay

So don't delay

It's not a day to linger

Here's a ring for your finger

Isn't it a humdinger?

We advise to live and love

And honor and obey

Before he gets away

Make it Mandy and me

The wedding chimes

Bring happy times

For Mandy and me

So don't you linger

Here's a ring for your finger

Isn't it a humdinger?

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