White Irish Drinkers Page #2

- Who'd buy them with all

the people out of focus?

What is that?

- I don't know.

Maybe I need glasses.

- Maybe you need a kick

in the balls.

- You've already given me

one of those, thanks.

- Come on; I haven't kicked you

in the balls in years.

- Yet somehow, that feels like

it was just yesterday.

- You're too easy on them,

the both of them.

They walk all over you.

- I can't talk to you

when you're like this.

- Sounds like a seven.

- He broke something before.

- Make it a nine.

Hey, I got an idea I want

to talk to you about.

- You know what?

I've actually got to go.

'Cause I'm gonna meet

my friend todd.

He just got back from college.

We're gonna go meet him

at the kill car.

- What was he doing at college

during the summer?

Must not be that smart.

- Yeah,

I'll ask him for you.

- I got a friend coming back too

next week... From prison.

Oh, yeah, well, I mean,

that's, you know,

that's cool too.

- Look, I got something new

in the works.

It could make us

some real money.

- Danny, listen, I don't want

to sound like I'm being-

- all right,

go if you've got to go.

I'll talk to you about it later,

all right?

- When I applied, they said,

"at this school,

"you're not just a number.

You're a person. "

I get there.

All they ask is, "what's

your social security number?

"What's your I.D. Number?

What's your course number?"

- That's a heartbreaking story,

todd.

- Seriously.

Wake me when it's over.

- I don't know why

you want to go

to four more years

of school anyway.

Get a f***ing job.

- Civil service.

That's what it's all about, man.

Look at me; I'm pulling down

9 gs with the transit authority.

I got bennies up the ass,

major medical, major dental.

The best part is that

they can't even fire me.

- That is just great news

for subway riders everywhere.

- There's more to life

than getting

your root canal paid for,

ya hump.

- F*** you, hump.

My old man says college means

you're haunted for life.

You're afraid to go out there

and work.

- Your old man must be

a f***in' phd, then.

F*** you, flanagan.

The best part of you

is still dripping down

your old man's leg.

- Here's the other thing.

He's studying, like, technology

and computers and sh*t.

- See,

trade school I understand,

you know, car repair,

refrigerator repair, like that.

I mean, how the f***

are you gonna make a living

off of computers?

- I've got one word

for you guys.

I want you to try hard

to understand.

The future.

- That's two words,

you hump.

So much for college.

- I need more beer.

I'm actually losing

small chunks of my brain

from this conversation.

- I don't get it.

I'm not getting it.

It's not registering.

- Hey.

Hey.

We don't serve your kind

in here.

- No disco in here.

Disco sucks.

Move back to bensonhurst,

you disco fucks.

Get the f*** out of here.

- So how's it feel

having just wasted

your whole f***ing summer

with that college?

- I had to.

I'm so f***ing over my head.

They let me take

these prep courses

just to get a jump start.

I must be the dumbest f***

on that campus.

- Why do it?

- Gets me out of here.

They got this computer.

The f***ing thing is so small,

it fits in one room.

The sh*t that...

Look, I know I'm the a**hole

of the hour because I'm leaving.

You know, we always said college

was bullshit.

- You always said college

was bullshit.

- Well,

I was wrong.

I got a chance,

and I f***ing took it.

- Oh,

you want a f***ing cookie?

- Here,

I got this for you.

Just to check it out.

- Oh, no, no.

- It's not just

a technology school.

They've got a kick-ass

fine arts program.

Andy warhol went there.

I hear they even got

naked chicks

that pose in the art classes.

It's a great place.

You'll love it.

They even got scholarships

for underprivileged kids.

- Who's underprivileged?

- Me and you and every other

numbnuts we know.

That's who.

- Hey, I'm not some

f***ing charity case over here.

- Look,

it's just a way in.

How do you think I got accepted?

- Just always assumed

there was a blow job involved.

Nice.

Look, they got

an early admissions program.

You could come back with me

at the end of the month.

- Look,

I'm saving up my money.

I'm trying to get an apartment

of my own,

maybe over on 75th street.

- Different perch,

same cage.

- Hey, I'm not gonna make

believe I belong somewhere else.

- Which one of us

is making believe, brian?

- Hey, what's going on?

Hey, buddy.

Hey, there is a broad

standing over by the bar

who is just checking you out

with her provincial vision.

- Do you mean peripheral?

- Yeah, that too.

- Wow.

Do you know her?

- So do you.

She went to bishop clancy.

She's a couple years

ahead of us.

Shauna somebody.

- Well, then, go over there.

- Oh,

get the f***.

- Oh, here,

have another bottle of balls,

and go over there,

ya hump.

- She didn't talk to me then.

She's not gonna talk to me now.

- All right, well...

Don't say I didn't give you

the first shot.

Hey,

how you doing?

My name's manny.

Okay.

- Manny your dreams.

- Oh, wow.

It's good to meet you finally.

- It's nice to meet you too.

- Yeah, this is...

- Really?

Yeah, hi. I'm todd.

Shauna.

That's a very unique name.

Okay.

- Wow,

your skin's so soft.

- # There is no love #

# she was sent from above #

# and I need her #

# I love her

every day of my life #

# there is no love

like my baby's love #

# when I call her

I know she will answer #

# I don't have to worry

because she's always there #

# early in the morning

or late after midnight #

# I know that my baby

will make it all right #

# she will make it all right #

# and there is no love

like my baby's love #

# there is no love #

# she was sent from above #

# and I need her #

# I want her

every day of my life #

# there is no love

like my baby's love #

# I know that there is no love

like my baby's love #

- You win.

- # There is no love

like my baby's love #

# I know that there is no love

like my baby's love #

# there is no love #

- F***ing knock.

- What's the matter?

You afraid I'm gonna catch you

stretching the old duke?

- What do you want?

- Where's the old man?

- The bar, I guess.

Where else?

He's pissed you didn't come home

again last night.

- F*** him.

I want you to hold on

to this for me.

- New slippers?

- Just hide it somewhere and

keep your mouth shut about it.

- What is this?

You giving me a f***ing gun?

- I'm not giving you sh*t.

It's mine.

I just want you

to hold on to it.

Nobody will think twice

about anything

mr. Goody-f***ing-two-shoes has.

- You hide it.

- Don't be a p*ssy, brian.

Help me out.

I think the old lady

goes through my stuff.

Just for a couple weeks

until we need it.

- What's with this "we" sh*t?

- I told you.

I got something new.

- No, dan, that's too much.

You do something with a gun,

that's some serious

f***ing time.

- Are you kidding me?

First offense.

Besides, I'm not even

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