White Irish Drinkers Page #5

- I don't know.

- I'm telling you,

nights are better.

- Yeah, yeah.

- People tip better when

they're going out for dinner

and stuff like that.

What are you doing here?

- It's nice to see you too.

I just came by to tell you

that the stones

are gonna play the lafayette

on the 28th,

and I wanted to invite you.

- The rolling stones.

- No,

the kidney stones.

Yes,

the rolling stones.

You coming?

- Why would the rolling stones

play brooklyn?

- What is it with you people?

You act like brooklyn is some

sort of f***ing hick town.

It's the fourth-biggest city

in the country.

- Brooklyn is not a city.

- If it was,

it would be.

- Yeah, well, the rolling stones

are gonna take one look

at the lafayette and have

their 20th nervous breakdown.

- Sh*t,

I can't get no.

- No what?

- Satisfaction.

You coming or what?

- I'll be gone by then.

- That's too bad.

You don't work on sundays,

do you?

- Work from home.

- Come on.

- I'm serious.

I read up on airline deals.

Got to know what I'm doing

backwards and forwards

before I get to I. A...

It's not just a little store

like this.

It's, like, five times as big.

- Just take two hours off.

We'll go somewhere,

just a walk.

- Same category as lunch?

- Exactly, it's harmless,

healthy,

and this particular walk will be

historically educational.

- Brian,

why do you want to do this?

I'm leaving in a few weeks.

- I didn't say we had to go

pick out curtains, shauna.

I'm talking about a walk.

- No.

- If no, just say no.

- I say no every time I see you.

- Would you make up your mind?

Look, if you don't like it,

all you got to do is avoid me

for a couple of weeks,

and you're in the clear.

- And if I do like it?

- Well, then, we'll make

a mutual suicide packet.

- All right, tomorrow.

- Tomorrow,

uh... Not available.

Kidding.

- There he is.

Join me in some f***ing p*ssy.

- Dah-dah-dah.

Watch.

Check it out. Check it out.

Uhh, you got to-

you got to make it sharp.

- That's a small dick

you got there.

- Hey,

there he is.

It's vincent van f*ggot.

- I've been looking all over

for you.

- You and everybody else.

- The cops have been

coming around asking questions.

- No sh*t.

There you go.

- The detectives talked to mom.

- No one's looking for you,

if that's what

you're worried about.

- That's not what

I'm worried about.

- This is my little brother.

F***ing spends hours and hours

down here by himself

painting drawings,

while the rest of us

are out drinking

and getting laid.

He wants to draw pictures

for a living,

except he ain't got the balls

to admit it to anybody.

- Get the f*** out.

- What are you gonna do,

tell mommy?

You don't have to worry.

No one even touches you,

this little f***.

He's a good boy.

Me, I sneeze too f***ing hard,

I catch a f***ing beating.

- What do you want?

- I came to get my shoe box.

- It's in my room.

- All right.

- Get out.

- Ohh, don't be upset,

little boy.

I just want to put some color

on your cheeks.

- You f***ing a**hole.

I'm gonna f***ing kill you.

You f***!

- You mother...

You f***ing raise your hand,

you better be ready

to finish it.

You hear me?

- You f***ing jack me?

You f***ing jack me?

You're f***ing dead.

You motherf***er.

You're f***ing dead.

You're f***ing dead.

You're f***ing dead.

You piece of sh*t.

You're f***ing dead.

You hear me,

you scumbag?

You're gonna f***ing die

for that.

Get the f*** out of here.

All right.

All right.

Little f***er!

- Danny.

Danny!

I hear noises.

- It's just a storm.

- Does the thunder mean

god's mad?

- Yeah,

but not at us.

We're okay here.

Hey, look.

Watch this.

- Well,

I guess this is historic.

- Hey, anybody can take you

on a walk through prospect park.

- Ah,

but a cemetery.

Now, that's class.

You gonna tell me what happened

to your face?

- Oh, I was practicing

for this walk, and I fell.

- Sh*t, brian,

who did that?

Look,

don't bullshit me.

Who did that to you?

- My brother.

- Your brother.

- It's no big deal.

It's nothing new,

except this time,

I hit him back.

- You guys need a new hobby.

- All families fight,

I guess.

- Not mine,

not like that, anyway.

- There's always been plenty

of hand-to-hand combat

in our house.

Me and my brother used to

stay up at nights

and listen to my parents.

We'd give them a number

on the temper scale.

- My parents never raised

a hand to me,

fight with silence,

cold shoulder.

Well,

maybe that's worse.

- So you've never been hit?

- No.

- Not by anybody?

- No.

- Wow.

- I knew who you were,

you know.

I remembered you

from high school.

- Why didn't you say something?

- I used to see you

in the halls,

cafeteria,

sometimes on the train,

always just watching everything.

And I used to-

I used to try to figure out,

"now,

what's this guy thinking?"

- Me too.

- I remember one time

in the school yard,

you were getting your ass kicked

by brother dominic.

- Gentle friar.

- He had you by the hair,

and he slapped you

till you fell down.

But you never made a sound.

You just took it,

and your face was so red,

and your shirt was coming out

of your pants,

but you didn't even cry,

kept your dignity.

Brother dominic lost his.

You know, they got a cemetery

just like this in paris.

- You been to paris?

- Oh,

I've been all over.

When I got out of travel school,

we took these

familiarization trips,

"fam trips,"

they call them.

Some travel agent, they've never

even been anywhere.

You know, the girls I work with,

forget it.

How can you do that?

I mean, how can you send people

all around the world,

and you've never even been out

of your own

freakin' neighborhood.

- That sounds like

the perfect job for you.

- It's a good future too.

People are always gonna be

going places,

and there are always gonna be

travel agents to book it.

I've been to london.

I've been to rome.

I was even in alaska once.

I'm gonna go all around

the world by the time I'm 25.

- I was in piscataway,

new jersey, last year.

I ate like a king.

- Don't you want to travel?

I mean, don't you want

to walk down the street and know

that when you turn the corner,

it's all gonna be new?

- I like it here.

Why do I always feel like

I have to apologize for it?

- Can I tell you something,

brian?

Cemetery,

all this death around us...

Really makes me horny.

Don't ask me why.

- I wasn't gonna.

- I was at a wake once

for my uncle.

Mm,

I was climbing the walls.

- Do you dare me to run naked

through this cemetery?

- I don't know if I dare you,

but I might beg you.

- I'm not gonna do it alone.

Oh, come on, brian,

nobody here.

Just a bunch of dead people.

- Might I point out

that it's a bit chilly?

- Ahhh!

- Keep your eye on me,

baby.

Whoo.

# Ooh, ooh, yeah #

# I've been down so low,

I got nowhere to go #

# don't you know I've been

a little down on my luck #

# I've been a little bit stuck #

# I've been down low down,

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