Who Done It?

---

Well, what's the verdict,

Doctor? I don't like it.

You have to watch

that heart of yours.

What are you trying to do, scare me?

Colonel, you are working too hard.

Well, if you've got to go, you

might as well go in the harness.

You are listening to

America on the Air,

presented from coast to

coast in the United States,

and by shortwave

around the world.

And now, for tonight's odd facts

concerning the commerce of this hemisphere.

In a single year, the amount of coffee

imported into the United States...

would be sufficient to form

a tower 8,264 feet in height,

with a base diameter

of 20 feet by...

Very interesting,

that announcement.

Very. But you are not certain yet.

Not yet, Doctor. Not until

I find out what these mean.

But as soon as I do...

You sent for me, Colonel? Yes, Miss Little.

Send Heller

in here, please.

Will I see you tonight at the

broadcast, Doctor? I'll be there.

Colonel Andrews, for ten weeks I've

been writing Murder at Midnight,

one of your best shows... The

Crossley rating doesn't agree, Heller.

That's why I took

you off that program.

Is that why you took me

off three other big shows?

Or is it because Miss Little, your

producer, doesn't appreciate my writing?

Now, just a minute... I make

the decisions here, Heller.

I've decided that your

murders have no ingenuity.

I could take care of that. The way I

feel right now, I could devise a murder...

that would baffle

even Sherlock Holmes.

Maybe I can use that

on my present assignment:

The Romance

of Rita and Rob.

A soap opera.

Yes? Send him in.

Mr. Turner's waiting, Colonel.

You're on, Mr. Turner. Thanks.

So, you're the new staff writer

for Murder at Midnight.

That's what it says in the

contract. Congratulations.

I wrote that program for

some time. Oh, really?

Oh, I'm sorry. I hope I

didn't take... Oh, forget it.

One man's loss is another man's

gain. Lots of good luck to you.

Thanks.

Colonel Andrews?

Yes.

It's nice to see you,

Mr. Turner.

You certainly don't look quite like what

I expected after reading your scripts.

I'm afraid all college professors

are a little disappointing.

Not when they bring

new ideas to radio.

That's why I'm as enthusiastic

about your work as your producer.

Well, I guess I'll have

to thank both you and him.

Not him. Her.

Jane!

Hello, Jimmy.

So you're the producer

of Murder at Midnight.!

Am I confused.

It serves you right.

If you'd write me a letter once in

a while, you'd find those things out.

If I'd write to you? What

about you writing to me?

Here we go again. It's

certainly one on me, Colonel.

Here I spend the best years of my life

advising this young lady against a career,

and I wind up

by working for her.

Yes.

Wait a minute.

Are you responsible

for getting me this job?

Of course not.

I...

All I did was ask

Colonel Andrews...

Is it her fault that I

considered your script the best...

of the hundreds I had to wade

through? So that's the way it is.

Well, I appreciate

this little conspiracy.

I'd like to thank you both. But I'd teach

school for the rest of my natural life...

rather than take

a handout from a woman.

Why don't you come up

to the broadcast tonight?

Please do, Jimmy. We're doing

the last of the current series,

"The Steel Chair

Murder Case. "

I'll hear the broadcast all right...

on a train, headed due north.

Mr. Turner.!

Must I remind you that I have

a contract for your services,

and I intend

to exercise it?

You'll get plenty of exercise

trying to find me.

May I ask you a question,

Colonel? Certainly.

What did I ever see in that stubborn,

irresponsible, aggravating...

lovable Irishman?

Want to cry on my shoulder?

No, I want to cry on his.

One Limburger cheese

sandwich, please. Excuse me.

- One Limburger cheese sandwich.

- One Limburger cheese, coming up! Right!

Limburger cheese.

What are

you doing in there?

Come on. Come on.

Snap out of it.

Hey, Chick. Tell the guy we got

some nice ham sandwiches here. What?

- The man don't want a ham sandwich.

- Oh.

Look, Chick,

we got some lovely roast beef.

Never mind the roast beef. Get

in with that Limburger cheese.

If you think I'm gonna get in here

with the Limburger, you're cr-razy!

Come on. Come on.

Slice one up.

Will you bring

that cheese in here?

Will you

make it snappy?

- How about an egg salad?

- Look, the man don't want an egg salad.

He wants cheese.

Hey, what happened

to my sandwich?

What's holding up that Limburger

cheese? Be right up. Comin'up.

There we are, si...

Eww.

What are you doing?

Look out, look out.

Stop. Stop. Ahh...

Will you stop this

nonsense and get to work?

Okay. Hey, brother. Take that

someplace else and eat it, will ya?

How long do I have to wait?

I ordered a strawberry sundae.

You did? What day is it today? Friday.

You got two more days to wait. Hey,

chubby. How much is a glass of orange juice?

Fifteen cents.

Too much money.

Not the way I make it.

I bet you a nickel...

I can drink it faster

than you can make it.

You bet me a nickel you can drink

it faster than I can make it? Yeah.

You're on.

Let's go, shorty.

Here.

Think you can beat me?

Okay, okay. Come on. Come on.

Take your time. Take your

time. Come on. Come on.

All right.

All right.

I'm ahead of you now.

Aah!

I'm one up on you.

I think I'm gonna

beat ya, shorty.

You win. There's your nickel.

You mean I beat you?

Ain't that a shame... a little kid

like that trying to outsmart me.

Sorry!

Y-Yo...

Hello, Mr. Turner.

Oh, hello.

Oh, by the way, Miss Little

asked me to tell ya that she...

Sorry. I never heard

of the lady.

Oh, hello, Miss Collins.

Oh, hello.

Oh, boys. You want to take extra

special care of Miss Collins here.

You may want to get on the air someday,

and she's secretary to Colonel Andrews.

Not Colonel Andrews, the head

of whole networks? That's right.

- Well, you leave her to us.

- I'll take a chocolate malted.

Chocolate malted?

What flavor?

Aw, you heard what she

said. Come on. Hey, boy.

This is our golden opportunity.

That's what you think.

Listen to me. You've got to

make a play for this girl.

She's Andrews' secretary.

Chances are if she likes you,

she'll introduce us to Colonel Andrews

and he'll buy our radio program.

Yeah? But Chick... Sure. What?

She ain't pretty. What's

that got to do with it?

It's got a lot to do

with it. Oh, you're crazy.

I've seen better heads on

malted milks. Here, here. Please.

Be careful with your

remarks. Get me a glass.

Go ahead, mix...

Contact!

Look, Mr. Turner, it's none of my

business, but Miss Little feels bad...

Let's forget the whole thing, shall we?

Stop it!

Off contact!

That's it. Now go ahead. Okay.

Now, get over there and start

pitching. But she don't appeal to me.

So what? You kiss her in

the dark. Okay. Good luck!

Drink hearty... What are you

doin'? Get over there. Go ahead.

I'm sorry you feel

that way about it.

Here's your malted,

beautiful.

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