Whoopee! Page #2

Say, listen, you dressed us up

like this, didn't you?

Well, I hope you

appreciate it.

Yes, and to show you how much we

appreciate it,

we're gonna

dress you up!

But I don't want

to be dressed up...

(ALL CLAMORING)

(WHISTLING SOFTLY)

Wanenis.

Sally.

Please come down.

I must speak to you.

Wanenis.

Then you're going

to marry Bob Wells?

I knew this would

happen, but it hurts.

Father wants me

to marry Bob.

And since we can't have one another,

I just don't care.

It's your father

who convinced me

that our marriage

was impossible,

'cause I'm an Indian.

Wanenis, don't.

I'm sorry, Sally.

I know it's wrong of me to make

you sad on your wedding day.

Please forgive me.

I wish you

every happiness.

I know I can't have you.

But I can't bear the thought

of anyone else having you.

When the winter's over

When the summer's through

When there's

prairie clover

I'll still belong to you

Far above the plain

When the moon is new

When it's on the wane

I'll still belong

to you

Winds may blow as though

they know what I've told you

Yet the more they blow

The closer

I'll hold you

Though the world

may take me

From a world for two

Though you may

forsake me

I'll still belong

To you

MR. MORGAN:
Sally. Sally!

Sally, please come back.

Sally.

(GUN FIRES)

Why, Wanenis,

I didn't know that was you.

I thought it was some

skunk prowling around.

You know,

you can't be too careful at a time like this.

(BLACK EAGLE MOANS)

I suppose you came back

to see me marry Sally?

If you'd like to take

another shot at me,

give me a gun,

and we'll shoot

it out together.

I don't fight

with Indians.

I don't want you hanging

around here anymore,

and neither

does Sally.

Savvy?

Listen, fellas.

If you see him or anyone else

trying to go up that ladder again,

next time...

Better you come

now, huh?

Come, Wanenis. Come.

Miss Custer! Oh, Miss Custer!

Miss Custer! Miss Custer!

Where is that woman?

Where is that nurse? Miss...

Wanenis!

Hello, Henry.

How are you?

Hello, Black Eagle.

I'm glad

to see you.

Yeah, me too.

I haven't seen you in a long time.

That's right.

How's your health?

I'm sorry you asked.

Last week,

I looked so terrible,

two undertakers left

a deposit on me.

And say, what's happened to you?

What's the matter?

It's nothing, Henry.

Just a scratch.

I'm in a little

trouble.

Yeah, you're in

a little trouble.

All you've got is a

scratch. Look at me.

I've got five

dangerous ailments,

with hardly

a chance of recovering.

And, oh, look where

cactus is growing.

(GROANS)

Henry, I'm in love.

That's hard luck, too.

Last week, I bought a suit

with two pairs of pants

and burned a hole

in the coat.

But I've lost the

girl that I love,

and my heart is

very heavy today.

Your heart is heavy?

My heart is five times

the normal size.

But you don't

understand.

This girl and I

grew up together.

I am an Indian!

(MOANS)

He suffers from gas, too.

Isn't it terrible?

Why, Henry, a way back,

my people were chiefs.

(MOANS)

Why don't you try

bicarbonate of soda?

You'll be a new

Indian, really.

But I'm only a

small part Indian.

How small?

Well,

my great-grandfather married a white girl.

So did mine.

What is that?

Did you know that

I'm a half-breed?

Are you a half-breed?

Sure. I breathe through

one side of my nose.

Sinus.

For this girl that I love,

I've studied the ways of your race.

Why, I've gone

to your schools.

An Indian in a Hebrew school!

How... Oh, for heaven...

(GROANING)

How did you

get along?

About since I

was that high,

I've striven to be something

among your people.

I know. We all have

our disappointments.

From the time I

was this high...

That's even lower than

yours. See that?

I figured out someday I

might be a great aviator

like Lindbergh or Byrd.

But I can never

be an aviator.

Can't eat sandwiches.

Why don't you be like me?

I've been delicate all my life,

but I wouldn't let any woman boss me around,

tell me what to do.

Henry!

I'll see you boys

later, all right.

Henry Williams!

What are you doing

with my bloomers?

Whose bloomers?

I'm not doing anything.

Now, you keep away

from my trunk!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

This is the happiest

day of my life!

You go to the mission, Bob,

and I'll fetch Sally right over.

She ought to be

all ready by now!

Thanks, Mr. Morgan.

Wait a minute,

wait a minute, girls!

You've got plenty

of time, really.

Every time I hear that dear,

old wedding march

I feel rather glad

I have a broken arch

I have heard a lot

of married people talk

And I know that marriage

is a long, long walk

To most people

weddings mean romance

But I prefer

a picnic or a dance

Another bride

Another groom

The countryside

Is all in bloom

The flowers and treeses

The birds and beeses

Are making whoopee

The choir sings

Here comes the bride

Another victim

Is by her side

He's lost his reason

'Cause it's the season

For making whoopee

Down through

the countless ages

You'll find it

everywhere

Somebody makes good wages

Somebody wants her share

She calls him toodles

And rolls her eyes

She makes him strudels

And bakes him pies

What is it all for?

It's so he'll fall for

Making whoopee

Another year

Or maybe less

What's this I hear?

Well, can't you guess?

She feels neglected

And he's suspected

Of making whoopee

She sits alone

Most every night

He doesn't phone

Or even write

He says he's busy

But she says, "Is he?"

He's making whoopee

He doesn't make much money

Five thousand dollars per

Some judge who

thinks he's funny

Says, "You pay six to her"

He says, "Now, Judge

"Suppose I fail"

The judge says, "Budge

"Right into jail"

You'd better keep her

You'll find it's cheaper

Than making whoopee

Henry! Henry,

come here.

What?

I want you to do

something for me!

Sally Morgan,

why aren't you in your wedding dress?

Well, you see,

I'm not going to be married.

What?

Not married in the

mission, I mean.

Sheriff Bob doesn't want these

cowboys to get rough and boisterous.

So he and I are going to sneak to town,

get married there,

and take a train east

for our honeymoon.

Honeymoon.

That reminds me, you know,

my sister's husband wanted to take

her to Florida on their honeymoon,

but she's been to Florida,

so she sent a girlfriend.

(LAUGHING)

Now, listen!

What?

Sheriff Bob wants you to

drive me to the junction.

He'll meet us there.

I'll go in and get my bags.

Wait a minute, Sally,

I'll help you.

Don't do anything

until you hear...

(GUN FIRES)

Oh, for heaven's...

Who did that?

Who did...

(LAUGHING)

Just a little mistake,

partner.

Just a little mistake,

that's all!

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(MIMICS LAUGHTER)

Just a little mistake!

I suppose to you the World War

was just a typographical error!

Just a little mistake!

Henry!

What?

Get my bags quickly.

All right, hurry up. I've got it, Sally.

Here, got it?

Take that!

I've got it.

Just come right down.

Now, be careful

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