Whoopee! Page #3

of Polly.

Right. I'll be careful.

Come right down,

Sally.

I'll be waiting for you.

Isn't she sweet?

Just take care of yourself.

I'll be all right.

Come right along,

Sally.

(SQUAWKING) Come here, Polly.

What do you want?

POLLY:

I want to make whoopee.

She wants to

make whoopee!

(CHURCH BELLS TOLLING)

MEN:
Today's the day

To hear the bridegroom say

"I'll honor and obey"

Today's the day

WOMEN:

Here comes the bride!

MEN:
Tonight's the night

The stars will

shine so bright

The honeymoon will

light our happy way

WOMEN:

Here comes the bride!

Spring is a rogue who lightly

trips over all the hills and dales

ALL:
Love comes along

and your heart skips

Then you'll hear

the wedding bells

And then you'll say

"The world must

be all right"

Today's the day, today

Tonight's the night

Here comes the bride!

Spring is a rogue who lightly

trips over all the hills and dales

Love comes along

and your heart skips

Then you'll hear

the wedding bells

And then you'll say

"The world must

be all right"

Today's the day, today

Tonight's the night

Sheriff! Boys! Boys!

Where's Bob Wells?

He's coming

right over there!

Sheriff!

What's wrong?

What's happened?

Sally's gone!

Gone? Where?

What do you mean?

I don't know.

She isn't around anywhere!

Has anyone

seen Henry?

Here's a note I

found on the post!

"Dear Father.

Don't be angry with me.

"I just can't

marry Bob Wells.

"I love another,

and don't look for me,

"because when you receive this,

we will be far away.

"I have eloped with

Henry Williams."

Henry Williams!

Well, if she loves him,

I hope she's happy, wherever she is.

And I wish them luck!

Luck!

I'll wish them luck!

When I catch him,

I'll hang him to the highest tree I can find!

Has anyone...

Sheriff, have you seen Henry?

No, but when I do,

you'll never see him again!

Oh, Sheriff, you've

got Henry all wrong.

Why, he's the sweetest,

most harmless little fellow

in the whole world!

Say, what did he do?

He eloped with

Sally Morgan!

The son of a hypochondriac.

I'll kill him!

Boys, come here.

Jim, Jack, Joe, Tex, Slim.

You know what we do with a

critter who steals a horse?

ALL:
Yes.

Well, this one just

stole my woman.

Get into your saddles,

because we're gonna ride him down, boys,

and then we're

gonna hang him up.

Don't let a white man get by you!

Come on!

Henry! Henry!

Henry, where are you?

Here I am!

I've been asleep.

Why don't you start the car?

That's a good idea.

That's what I've been trying to

do for the last half an hour.

Have you got gas?

Have I got...

The way I suffer?

Have I got gas?

(CHUCKLES) No, no.

I mean, have you

got gasoline?

Of course

I have gasoline.

How do you think we came here,

with ketchup?

This shows that I

have gasoline, here.

Oh, for the...

Not a drop.

I'm not well.

I thought you'd be

the man to help me.

I thought you'd be

the man to save me.

And you didn't even know

enough to fill your gas tank!

Oh, for the love of...

What's the matter?

I haven't any more

circulation than a herring.

Here you are, bawling me out,

and my temperature drops to normal!

If you keep me out in

these mountains all night,

you won't have to worry

about your health,

because Bob Wells

will kill you!

What do you mean?

I do him a favor, and he'll kill me?

I take you to the sheriff

so he can marry you,

and he's gonna shoot me

because I run out of gasoline!

Henry, you might as

well know the truth.

You're not taking

me to the sheriff.

You're taking me

away from him!

I'm...

Oh, I see. You just

left out the details.

And I left a note saying

that I had eloped with you.

You did what?

Sally Morgan,

I'm going to tear you limb from limb.

Henry,

I did it because I thought you'd help me.

I thought

you were brave.

I'm not brave.

I can't even help myself.

Sally Morgan,

I came out here to die.

Then it's all right,

because if Bob Wells catches us,

you'll get your wish.

But I don't want to

die from Bob Wells!

I want to die

from my sicknesses.

That's what I

want to die from.

I want to die in bed,

and I want to have

doctors and nurses

and flowers and

a little fruit.

That's what I want.

(HORN BLARES)

Oh, for heaven's...

See, you've got me

nervous and jumpy.

What am I going to do

if the sheriff comes?

Take this!

Put it away!

I can't stand the sight of a gun.

I hate guns! Put it away.

I don't like guns.

Even when somebody says "son of a gun,"

I almost faint.

Sally Morgan,

I'm going to take you

back to the sheriff.

Rather than go back

to him, I'll marry you.

Two proposals

in one day.

It's that tonic.

It's that tonic!

Henry, I mean it.

Why don't you marry me

and take me east?

It's impossible.

You know,

we wouldn't really have

to be man and wife.

Secretly, we can be

just good friends!

Yeah, but I can't

keep a secret.

And furthermore, you know,

people will talk.

And you've always

been a good girl.

Don't you think

I am still?

Well, I do, but...

But what?

When is a good girl

not a good girl?

Nine times

out of ten.

Henry, you're

only fooling.

You've never really

been in love.

I haven't?

Listen, Sally.

Love came to me

in the springtime

Just like the

blossoms, I fell

I thought that June

would be ring time

Which proves that

you never can tell

I used to call her

pet names

Tell her

she was divine

But she turned out

to be the girlfriend

Of a boy friend

of mine

I used to

take her places

She loved to

dance and dine

But she turned out

to be the new friend

Of an old friend

of mine

I found that love

was just a joke

I learned what

a broken heart meant

I even started

out to get

A kitchenette

apartment

She thrilled me

with her glances

(MIMICS KISSES)

Her kisses were

just like wine

But she turned out

to be the close friend

Of a Scotch friend of mine

I thought that

we'd be married

Sign on the

dotted line

But she turned out

to be the girlfriend

Of a boy friend

of mine

Listen, Sally,

each time I try to phone her,

what do I get?

Just a busy line

'Cause she turned out

to be the soul mate

Of a cellmate

of mine

Life to me once

was one big thrill

Nobody could

be prouder

Now life is just

a bitter pill

A capsule

and a powder

Why am I pale

and nervous?

Why do I weep

and pine?

'Cause she turned out

to be the real friend

Of a heel friend

of mine

Oh, I'm so tired!

Henry, let's lie down

and go to sleep.

I wouldn't sleep.

Sally, you lie down

and go to sleep.

Let me stay here

and fix the car,

borrow some gasoline,

and maybe we'll be on our way.

See, Sally?

Go on.

Right to sleepy.

Good night, Sally.

Good night, Henry.

Do you want to go

right to sleep?

Yes.

And the mama skunk

was walking along

with the four little

baby skunks.

And one of the baby skunks

said to the mama skunk,

"Oh, Mama.

Look, here comes a great big bear."

And the mama skunk says, "Children,

let us pray. Let us pray."

What are you doing?

(CAR HONKING)

(CONTINUES HONKING)

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