Whoopee! Page #4

Hello! Say, look out

there! Let us pass!

Don't block the

road, please!

What is it?

What has happened?

Oh, look,

it's a big Lincoln.

Say, can we have

some gasoline?

Hey, you.

Get out of the way.

I can't stand this.

I'm a very nervous man.

He's a nervous man.

All we need is two

gallons of gasoline.

We haven't any

gas to give away!

If you had any sense,

you'd carry an extra can

in country like this!

Do you?

Why, of course we do.

You do and you refuse to help.

Shame on you!

Never mind,

clear out of the way.

I say, my man,

that's a good old thing.

Chase that bug

off the road.

The bug.

Chase the bug...

How do you like that?

"Chase the bug off the road."

Of course, you can't

be expected to know

the nervous condition

that I am in.

(HORN HONKING)

Stop that.

Stop that!

Hey, you going to

get out of our way,

or do I chase that

flivver up the mountain?

Didn't I tell you

I need gasoline?

Will you go and

get out of the way...

(MEN CLAMORING)

(HONKING CONTINUES)

Would you stop it?

I'm telling you.

Stop.

Give me something, give me...

Here. What are you giving me?

What is it?

Don't shoot!

Get up, up, up, up.

Not you, you fool!

And no funny movements,

either.

Say, you can't shoot

a man like me!

Shall I try?

No. No.

Get out of the car, everybody.

Line up front,

come on.

We'll let you have

a couple of gallons.

Yes. You'll let me have

anything that I want.

Father, he doesn't

know who you are!

Who cares?

What's that?

Driver!

Yes, sir!

Get a can of gasoline.

Yes, sir.

Follow me!

Yes, sir.

Now, then, pour the

gasoline in my tank!

Yes, sir.

Don't forget, my partner up there

is looking at you with a gun.

If you do anything funny,

he'll fill you full of lead.

Yes, sir.

And, you,

take this gun.

If this fellow bats an eye,

you shoot, and shoot to kill.

What's that, Morris?

I'll tell them.

Never mind, I'll tell them.

My partner up there

said that somebody here

wasn't holding up their

hands high enough.

What partner?

My partner, he's up there.

You want to hear him?

Yes.

You up there, Morris?

(FAINTLY) "You bet I am."

Shall I get him?

"All right."

See you later.

"All right."

Goodbye. "Bye."

Good night.

Oh, help!

Help! Help! What was that?

Who did it?

Help! Help!

Take care

of yourself.

What's the matter?

Were you scared?

Pick up that can.

DRIVER:
Yes, sir.

Get over here.

Yes, sir.

Get over here with that!

Yes, sir.

You've got the

better of us now,

but in an hour, I'll have the sheriff

of this county on your trail.

You'll have who?

The sheriff of this county!

What do I care?

He's under an obligation to me.

You think I'm afraid of a sheriff?

And you bet he'll get you.

He's a regular man-hunter,

that fellow Bob Wells.

Bob Wells!

(ALL CLAMORING)

(SCREAMING)

DRIVER:
Here. Here.

Give me the gun,

all of you.

Thought I dropped

the gun, did you?

(LAUGHS)

Each one of you four,

get around to the tires.

DRIVER:
Yes, sir.

Unscrew the valves,

put in the small end

and leak the air out.

When I say, "One, two,"

take her out.

(AIR HISSING)

Now, get around

in front of my car!

I'll be hanged if I do!

Turn around,

or I'll shoot you right

through the heart.

Go ahead. Get around there.

Get around there.

Now, old man. I've got

a surprise for you!

What is it? What?

Crank my flivver!

Me, crank a flivver?

Go on, you old crank.

I'm a sick man!

You're sick?

I'd love to show

you my operation!

Would you...

Go ahead, crank it.

Go on. Get around there, crank it.

Crank it. Come on.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Boy, that's terrible.

Well, I told you.

I ain't no cook.

Say, why don't

you try it?

Oh, there's nothing

female about me, Mort.

Now, listen.

I'm in a fine fix.

The boss is expected here today,

and last night the cook lights out on me.

And if I don't find a new cook,

I'll have to find a new job.

Get out, get out, Sally.

Get out, Sally Morgan.

What's the matter?

I smell cooking.

I hope we can get

something to eat here.

I'm starved.

You're starved.

I want to tell you something,

Sally Morgan.

I've had a piece of toast,

two pieces of asparagus,

and a bottle of Bromo-Seltzer

since Easter Sunday.

Would you believe that?

Henry,

you'd better take those glasses off!

Why, don't be silly.

I can't. Why not?

With my eyes?

(SCOFFS) Even when I

go to sleep at night,

I've got to keep

my glasses on.

What for?

So I can recognize the people

I dream about.

Silly.

Henry, please take

the glasses off!

Oh, all right.

And whatever you do,

don't use our right name!

Well, of course not.

Come in with me.

I'll get you

something to eat.

Hello! Hello!

Hello. Hello.

Oh, look, it's

the new zeppelin!

Say, I'm nervous,

and we're very hungry.

We'd like to have

something to eat.

Oh, you would?

Yes, personally,

I'd like some hot

water and prunes,

bananas and cream,

corn flakes,

and boiled eggs,

two minutes.

If they're two and a half minutes,

I can't eat it,

because the acidity

presses against my heart,

and I've got to take six

Bell-Ans in hot water.

Say, who are you?

What's your name?

Henry.

Henry what?

Ford.

Well, Mr. Ford.

I've heard of you

someplace before.

This is Mrs. Ford,

of course!

Of course.

You see, we've just been married.

She's one of

those new Fords.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Gosh. That's

great! Hey!

I'll be all right.

Just let me take a nap.

I feel good.

I feel good. Go ahead.

I bet you're a great cook,

Mrs. Ford.

Why,

I've never cooked a thing in my life!

Can you cook?

Can I cook?

That's swell.

You get the job.

We need a cook, and you're it.

But... Now, don't argue.

Get to work.

It's exactly 7:
00.

7:
00!

I'm glad you... I've gotta take two pills.

I've gotta take two pills.

And at 8:
00,

I expect you to have breakfast ready.

Now, don't try

to get away.

Your flivver will be

locked up in the garage,

and I'm still pretty

handy with a six-shooter.

Look, mister,

I can't stand anything heavy on my stomach.

Would you mind

taking that...

SALLY:
Get it! Get it!

Hey! Get it! Here, here!

Here you are. Here you are.

There you are.

You'll have to cut out this fooling,

both of you.

And get to work.

Now, here's a cook's

hat and coat.

Yes, sir.

Missus.

You set the table in

the patio, out yonder.

Say, what... What

are you gonna cook?

Well, I don't know.

For instance, tell me, what would you like?

Well, a waffle would

hit me all right.

All right, I'll hit

you with a waffle.

I don't mind what

I hit you with.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, my nerves.

What a place! What a mess!

Yes, and the worst

part of it is,

we've committed

highway robbery.

We could go to

prison for that!

Prison. Have they got doctors in prison?

Why, yes.

I'll be all right.

I'll get along.

I'll be all right.

But they'll give you 20 years.

(LAUGHING)

Twenty years...

What are you

laughing at?

Why, the joke's on them.

Why?

I can't live

but six months.

Oh, golly.

You know, I never made

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