Why Did I Get Married Too Page #3

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That she couldn't have the baby.

And when all the while,

it was his players on the sideline,|not being able to make the draft.

There you go again!

Marcus, are we gonna need an NFL|dictionary to hang with you this weekend?

Dude, will you cut it out?|You got to stop, man. You got to stop!

Look, I told Dianne, I said, "Listen,|call Sheila, make sure she's straight."

When Dianne was pregnant|with our last baby, man,

I was scared to come home!

I had this time when Patricia was pregnant,

I'd come home,|she's watching a dog food commercial

and starts crying,

and then curses me out!

What's wrong with that? It's your fault.

You don't get it?

Don't you know all women are crazy?

They "twazy"!

Patricia doesn't even cuss!

-Yeah. Well, you know what?|-Please.

There's sides of that woman|you've never seen, trust me.

I saw it.

-When?|-College.

Martina Jimenez,|you and her in the back seat.

-You told Patricia you was at work.|-Oh, right.

I remember that!

Yeah, I remember that.

I mean, she was worse than Angela.

No.

Ain't nobody worse than Angela.

Wait a minute, young man.|What you trying to say?

Hey, you're going to fit in right around here!|I'm telling you now!

I mean, no disrespect.

She's out there, man.|She's somewhere else.

My little muffin?

-Here you go, Pat.|-Thank you.

Okay. You know you start|all of my arguments.

-Me?|-Yes!

Why?

-Your book? He Cheated, So Now What?|-Okay.

-Can I quote you?|-Please!

Y'all ready for this? Here we go.

-"In relationships, you must...|-Wait a minute!

-"...respect each other's privacy..."|-I do not talk like that!

I don't sound like that, do I?

-Yes, you do! Yes, you do!|-No, I don't!

Let me tell you a little secret.

Okay, never mind!

All right, "In relationships,|you should trust each other's privacy.

"Case in point, I don't have the password|to my husband's cell phone.

"I trust him."

So, when I read that, I asked Marcus|for the password to his cell phone!

Angela, why would you do that?

Because you told me to!

How did I tell you to?

Because you said that|you don't have the password

to his cell phone because you trust him.

So, I took that to mean that|if I don't trust him, then I should have it!

-What?|-Angela!

-What did he say?|-Girl, please, you know Marcus.

Every time he lies, he says,|"Know what I'm saying?

"I lost it, you know what I'm saying?|I forgot it, you know what I'm saying?"

I don't have Troy's. I trust that man.

I trust Terry, but I do have his.

You have it? How?

He gave it to me.

What, you didn't have to do no tricks?

What's going on in here?

Oh, hell, no! Oh, hell, no, Mike!|What are you doing here?

I was hoping Marcus divorced your ass

and married a nicer, kinder, sexier woman.

Mike, don't play with me.|What are you doing here?

Look, I own part of a timeshare. I'm here|to have a good time, have a great vacation.

This Negro got some nerve!

And you're getting on the last one.

Now where are the fellas at?

Down on the Jet Skis.

Jet Skis, now that's a plan.

Hello, Sheila.

I hear you had a baby. Congratulations.

And what are these bags?

It's called luggage. As in baggage.

As in when you look in the mirror,|you see an old bag.

You are such a queen.

You know something? I'm not gonna|let your insults hurt me, Cruella.

I'm gonna see the fellas.

I don't believe this.

I told you, man.|Why are you trying to get something?

Ain't nothing there.|She's happier than she's ever been.

For the last three months,|I've been real happy.

-A happy woman...|-Makes a happy home.

Happy home, that's right.

I wouldn't know anything about that.

What the hell is he doing here?

-Who?|-Hey, fellas!

Are you serious?

What's up, fellas?

What are you doing here, Mike?

My part of the timeshare.|So, I'm here, sharing my time.

Okay, did you come through the house?

-Yeah.|-Did the women see you?

-Yeah, they saw me.|-What did they say?

Angela said, "Oh, hell, no, no!|Hell, no! What you gonna be..."

She was patting her weave?

Your wife, man...

Man, I feel so sorry for you.|I don't know how you do it. I just don't...

Hello, Sheriff.

What's up?

Congratulations on the baby.

So, you name him Mike Junior?

What? It's a joke! Man, come on, y'all!

No, man.|But you might have been able to do that

had you taken care of your business|the first time.

All right! So, Sheriff, it's like that now?

-Cut it out, man. Cut it out.|-What?

Please tell me, number one,|you're not staying here,

and number two, you didn't bring...|What was that girl's name?

-Tricka?|-Holetta.

-Trina. Trina.|-So, you're staying here?

Yeah, as long as you put|a muzzle on Angela.

-Come on, now. That's my wife.|-I know. I'm so sorry.

But, Sheriff, don't you worry, man.

-It's all good.|-I ain't worried.

Okay.

Where are you going?

Gonna check on my wife.

He's gonna check on his wife!

-This is gonna be fun!|-We're going in the house, man.

All right, come on, Marcus.

No, man, the wake effect has got me|sitting on the sidelines, brother.

-What?|-Don't even ask!

All right, I'm out.

-Enjoy yourself.|-All right.

We know, we know.

He's not staying.

He can't stay, he can't.

Terry, there is no way.

Hey, you're a lawyer. He paid his money,|we can't tell him that he can't be here.

-Maybe we should leave then.|-I'm with you.

No, guys. We spent our last to be here.|We're not leaving.

Guys, guys, come on.|Let's everybody calm down.

We're all adults here, right?

Sheila, we can try to control him.

Yeah... No. We all remember Colorado|and the dinner table, okay?

So, I don't know about controlling him,|but he's right.

We are adults, we can handle this.|Come on.

We can run interference|to keep Mike from scoring any points

against the opposing team.

Marcus, what the hell are you|talking about, man?

Sorry, I've been hosting too long.

Negro, you only work on the weekends.

You can't get nobody off the 50-yard line

'cause you can't get your little sliders|out of the dugout.

That doesn't make any sense at all!|What are you talking...

-Why you always gotta start?|-Hold on, you guys. Hold on!

Gavin's got a point.|We really need to be rational about this.

Rational?

Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't...

My wife agrees with me.

Rational.

Y'all be rational, okay?

But if this fool gets out of line,|I'm taking this straight to the streets.

Y'all know I'm from Camden.|Got no time for "rational."

You all be rational, she's gonna be ghetto.

All right, come on, let's go and unpack,|so we can finish having our discussion.

Come on, Marcus.

Did she just grab his nipple?

Probably.

See what I mean? Make-up sex.

-What'd he say?|-Don't worry about it, honey.

So, I guess he's staying.

Okay, look,|we're not gonna give him any power.

We are gonna enjoy ourselves,

and we're not gonna waste our time|even thinking about him.

-That's right. That's right.|-Okay.

A deal's a deal.

Sheila,

can I talk to you for a minute?

See? It's crazy that he's even here.

I cannot believe that Mike is...

It's so like him!

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