Wiener Dog Internationals Page #7

I'm half-Chinese,

half-Vietnamese. I knew it! Okay, I didn't know it,

know it, but I knew

something wasn't right. Right. Why'd you take Shelly? Ayameko hired me to pretend

to be her guardian so she

could enter the race alone. She has some kind of sponsor. Merryweather. Once she saw that you

brought two dogs to the race, she told me to take

the real Shelly and hide her. We were going to return her

to you after the race. Why would you do that?

We weren't even going to race. I know, but Ayameko doesn't

leave anything to chance. That's what a race

is all about. Chance. -Yeah.

-Not in her world. Look, I know it may

not appear this way,

but this isn't me. This isn't who I am. You guys still have

the fake Shelly, right? Her name's Tricksy, now. She's with our dad. Well, how about we let Tricksy

do what she does best? [vocal exercises] [Danny] Judge Brown! I need to speak to you. Yeah, make it quick. I'm about

to go announce the races. [vocal exercises] What's that? Vocal exercises. Oh. Okay. So, we picked up

Shelly yesterday. At least, we thought

we did and-- Yeah, you have

to excuse me. I... I'm about to

walk on to the stage.

[clears throat] The Shelly we

picked up was a fake. -A fake dog?

-No, no, no. A fake Shelly. What in the wonderful world

of wienies would you be

doing with a fake Shelly? -That's a long story.

-Well, I-- The point is,

Ayameko dognapped Shelly. You mean Ayameko,

the champion from Japan? Oh, Danny, Danny,

that's a very

serious allegation. Accusing another racer of...

of dognapping is a direct

violation of rule seven... Well, actually it's not

seven point it... I'm not... Make a note. We need to add a rule

about dognapping, -and dognapping allegation.

-Yes, sir. Yes. Now, what

is it you need? Have you noticed how a lot of

the dogs have similar... birthmarks to Shelly's? Yes. They're calling it

the "mark of a champion"

this year. Don't you find it

a bit suspicious? You mean, coincidental? No. I mean suspicious. We think

Miss Merryweather's

behind it. Miss Merryweather? What would Miss Merryweather

have to do with

hundreds of dogs having identical

birthmark placement? I mean... [vocal exercises] Cloning. That's ridiculous. It's not ridiculous. Merryweather Industries is well

known in the scientific world

for aggressive experiments. [laughs] Yes,

but there wouldn't-- It just... Please look into it. We made a list of

all the different countries with dogs that have

birthmarks like Shelly's. Huh, well, that's why

I have an assistant. Now, you understand

it's too late for us to do anything about this

before the race today. Of course. Also, I need to know,

who will be representing

the United States? Will it be Ms. Merryweather

or the Jack family? I believe we will, sir. There's just

one more thing

we have to do. Well, you do understand

that by the time

I announce the race, you must be seated

underneath the U.S. flag or Mrs. Merryweather

will race in your place. -Yes, sir.

-Yes. [clears throat] -[hums]

-Judge Brown? -Yes? [hums]

-I owe you. Oh, oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. Owing me, well,

that would be in direct

violation of rule 2.9. [hums] If a dog chews shoes,

what shoes would he chew? -Rules.

-If a dog chews shoes,

what shoes would he chew? [hums] If a dog chews shoes,

what shoes would he chew? If a dog chews shoes... [Judge Brown] It brings me

great excitement to kick off the 13th annual

Wiener Dog Internationals. Televised in over

100 countries. Viewed by over

20 million people. It's the biggest

wiener dog event

of the year! [cheering] Thank you! Thank you! As some of you may know,

I was recently asked to take over as head judge

for this esteemed organization, after serving for 15 years

for the U.S. Nationals, and I am excited to be part of

this international legacy. And now to kick us off,

open your ears and listen to the wonderful recording

by Barking Tempo of

the Internationals theme song. [song plays] Hello, Jack family. You don't scare us. Oh, good. I just wanted to wish

you luck on the race today. Really? -No, not really.

-Oh. That was sarcasm. Ah, sarcasm. Something

my protege excels at. Merryweather. Why the glum face? I mean, it's just

a race, right? Not like anyone

has to get hurt. Right. Oh, and I see you

brought Shelly. I guess that means I'll be

sitting on the sidelines, huh? That's where you belong. Let's just hope

she lives up

to her reputation. I wouldn't want her to

feel she didn't belong. Yes, I'm sure that

would really devastate you. Have a nice race. You know, for someone

who has so much money, you sure do

blow a lot of it

picking on kids. Oh, thanks for noticing. Let's go. [crowd cheering] [Danny] She knows

this Shelly's a fake. [Bridget] But she doesn't

know that we know. [Judge Brown]

Ladies and Gentlemen, with 64 countries

present here today, it is a verifiable

War of the Wieners. [cheering] Now, today you'll

witness eight races, with eight dogs in each race. The winner of each race will

advance to the final showdown. Let's welcome the racers from

our first eight countries! Canada, Australia, United Arab Emirates, France, Switzerland, Sweden, Venezuela

and... Russia. She's warming up herself

not the dog, but why... Why would you be doing that? -Just focus on what

we're here for.

-We're here to get Shelly. Alright. And now, the moment we

have all been waiting for. The moment some of us

have traveled halfway

around the world for. Ladies and gentlemen,

start your wieners! [bell ringing] [cheering] I don't believe it. Russia has been defeated

in the first race. Thought to be a favorite, well it turns out that

Clementine from France has snatched sweet victory

right from the claws of

oppressive Mother Russia. [sighs] Unpredictability is one

of the many qualities that makes Wiener Dog racing

one of the most

beloved sports around. Aw. I guess you don't

know what to expect

in a race like this. -[growling]

-[Danny] I hope so. [whispers] Go to Etsuko. Go! [Danny] Go that way. That way! [Bridget]

No, to the right!

Other right. That way, that way! Yeah! [sniffing]

[whining] [both] Not the hotdog! It's unedible. [barks] That way. Yes. Good. [Bridget] Bye, Tricksy! We're up. This is it. -Good luck out there.

-I don't need luck. Make sure the Jack family

doesn't get near

that dog carrier. You got it. [barking] Hey, Tricksy. Go to Danny! [barks] Shelly! Two-four-six-eight!

Who do we appreciate? Shelly! Shelly!

Yay, Shelly! We're being watched. [whispers inaudibly] Hey, now that we got

what we came for, let's go. What? I already told you. After what you did,

I'm not letting you race. Dad. Look, we got her back. It's the most

important thing, right? -Yeah, I guess so.

-Come on, Danny. I don't believe it. As the racers lead

to their marks, it appears the Jack family

have conceded their bench. Boo! Get off their bench! Oh, no. [announcer] Race two. [bell rings] [cheering] And it looks like

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