Wife Vs. Secretary

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- Good morning, Patrick.

- You said it, Mendel.

You haven't wakened Mr. Simpson, yet?

Their breakfast's on the hot plate.

Come in.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson.

- Taggart, you're late.

- I know, Mr. Simpson. My alarm clock.

- Get a new one.

You might have known

I'd have a full day today.

- Who won the boxing match, last night?

- Rosenblatt, in the third round.

Oh, what a pity.

Now I owe Finney $3.

Come in.

- I'm very sorry, Mr. Stanhope.

- Simpson, you're late.

Yes, sir.

Most careless of me,

and on the first morning

- after your vacation, too.

- Oh, forget it.

- Say, who won the fight?

- Rosenblatt, in the third round.

He did? I owe Finney a night off.

Well, with your night off and my $3,

Finney should do very well, sir.

You, too, eh?

- Maybe we should get rid of Finney.

- The paper, sir?

Oh, yes. Now, what about the trout?

Do we have them for breakfast?

Yes, sir. They're all prepared,

just as you ordered, sir. And we...

Walls have ear trumpets.

- Who do you think this is?

- Simpson.

No.

Try again.

Finney?

No!

Try again.

I give up.

- Surprised?

- A husband.

- Yes.

- How nice.

How did you sleep

after that man disappeared?

- Deep, deep, deep.

- He hated to go.

I don't remember him being asked to go.

Didn't you hear him chanting,

as he went out the door?

Chanting?

Thank you for a lovely evening

My friends!

- And I caught every one of them.

- You did not.

That big one's mine.

I caught him on a Parmacheene Belle,

and you know it.

I do not. He's mine.

I caught him on a Professor.

I remember taking that Professor

out of my hat and saying,

"Prof, old boy,

if you don't come through..."

Jake, he's mine.

Remember, I changed from

a Silver Donkey to a Parmacheene.

Yes, yes, I guess you're right.

Parmacheene did it.

- You through with your orange juice?

- Yes.

Oh, he's too much.

Well, you claimed him, you eat him.

Stop the beefing.

Well, I guess I can at that.

Jake, what day is today?

Monday, November 8th.

I'm having some people in tonight,

so don't be late.

Don't you want to know who they are?

Whom are you having in?

The Merritts, the Carstairs, Raoul

- and Battleship.

- Did you hear?

Battleship took the count

in the third last night.

- Rosenblatt got in a lucky punch, I guess.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

But he wouldn't miss one of your parties.

- Then there'll be Vivian and Sylvia...

- Hey, that's quite a party. What's the idea?

Jake, don't you know what day this is?

- Oh, it's our wedding anniversary.

- Yes, darling.

Seems like only yesterday, doesn't it?

You better eat that fish

while it's got a fever.

Jake.

All right.

Jake.

Darling!

Don't you ever ask me to go whale fishing.

Well, before I look again...

Hey, hey, stop.

Stop, please. I'll go quietly, Officer.

I don't know a thing about it.

No, no, I was just standing here...

Did you tell Mr. Stanhope

that Finney is waiting with the car?

Yes, but she's sitting on his lap,

and he hasn't even touched his trout yet.

Whether Mr. Stanhope

touches his trout or not,

- is no concern of yours.

- I know...

Ellen, as you may have gathered,

this is Mr. Stanhope.

- Hello, Ellen. Welcome to the institution.

- Thank you, sir.

What's to prevent me

from thinking about you all day?

- Wild horses.

- What?

- Glad to be home?

- Sure, I am.

Say, that Ellen's a cute dish.

Yes. I'll fix it up for you.

Fat chance, with this one in the building.

Bye.

Good morning, Mr. Stanhope.

Glad to see you back.

Glad to be back, Sam.

Good morning, Mr. Stanhope.

Glad to see you back.

Good morning, Mr...

No, no, no, don't tell me, don't tell me.

Blakely, Blakely.

- Bakewell.

- Bakewell. Well, that's close.

I'm glad to be back, thank you.

Good morning, V.S.

Golly, I'm glad to see you back.

Hello, Joe. Glad to be back.

- Good morning, Miss Spence.

- Good morning.

Good morning. Glad to be back.

- Oh, good morning, Mr. Stanhope.

- Good morning, Mary.

That's about right.

Hand me the hammer, Mary.

Why a man would keep such

a horrible picture of himself is beyond me.

Maybe I've been with him too long,

but he must be better-looking than that.

I think you're right, Whitey.

It doesn't do me justice.

- V.S.

- The nose isn't exactly brought out.

Oh, I'm sorry, V.S.,

I thought you were Mary.

How are you, Whitey?

- You been behaving yourself?

- Why, certainly.

Cross your heart?

Have you been true to me?

Well, twice.

My, how tanned you've gotten, V.S.

I didn't allow for that in the color scheme.

I'm afraid we'll have to change

the office again.

- Whitey, it's great.

- Do you really like it?

I don't see how you did it.

- Well, I spent $806.

- What?

Why, you're Michelangelo, Whitey.

That's who you are, Mike M. Angelo.

That's paint. They just finished

the woodwork this morning.

- Oh, is it still wet?

- Yes, it is.

No, I don't think so.

No, it must be dry by now.

Nope, it's still wet.

How many things have piled up, Whitey?

About a million, eh?

- Almost.

- You know what we're going to do?

Have an old-fashioned board meeting,

all day long.

Knock down, drag out.

Clean up everything in five or six hours.

- Good idea, eh?

- Yes, V.S.

Mr. Williams and Mr. Trent

may come in now.

- Call the staff for a meeting at 3:00.

- I thought you'd want it for 11:00.

- You mean, you've arranged it for 11:00.

- Yes, V.S.

Come in.

- Hello, Harry.

- Hello, V.S.

- How are you, Ned?

- Oh, you're looking great, V.S.

Well, all the trout can breathe easy

for another year, huh, V. S?

All that's left. What's this?

That's Hoppy's cover

for the January boudoir.

Now, it needs your rush

okay for that new color process.

That's nice. Very effective.

Hoppy must be staying sober again.

I'll be interested to see the plates.

- All right, thanks, V.S.

- All right.

Here's the January Mayfair dummy.

All right for page proofs?

Say, Alice has written

a very nice article here, Ned.

Let's give it a double spread,

and move it up front right after Topics.

January's the height of the deb season,

and the little darlings might be interested.

Otherwise, it's a swell book

you always put out.

- Thank you, V.S., I like that idea.

- All right.

If we're meeting at 11:00,

get me the quarterly space sales.

Yes, V.S.

Oh, and by the way, Mr. Farnsworth

has a grand new idea to solicit,

the Dolly Dane Lipstick account.

"Stop!

"Do you know what is happening to you?"

In Old English type.

"Where does your lipstick go

when it is gone?

"Does it evaporate? No."

New paragraph.

"There is no nourishment in paint.

Use Stick on the Lip Lipstick!"

Exclamation mark.

"50 cents

in the United States and Canada."

- That's not bad, Joe. I like it.

- Thanks, V.S.

- What are you using for art?

- Well, I think I've something very effective.

- It's a David Bucknall.

- I don't know.

Well, we can hardly improve

on Bucknall, V.S.

Well, the picture's all right as a picture,

but I'm just wondering

if it tells the story we want.

Frankly, V.S.,

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