Wild Page #3

And it nearly killed me.

You want some help?

Do I look like somebody who needs help?

Your boots. They're too small.

That's why you're losing toenails.

Yeah. You're right.

I only just realized it

the second you said that.

I thought they were

supposed to hurt that bad.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't have any money to buy new boots.

- Did you get them at REI?

- Yeah.

Well, you call 'em, you tell 'em,

and they'll have new boots

sent to your next stop.

- Seriously?

- Mmm.

And your pack, it's insane.

We need to do a little pruning.

Okay, so I'm gonna pick out

the stuff that's useless to you.

And you can leave it in the free box

unless you can give me a good reason

why you need it with you.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Ah, how's this working for you?

I stink.

I stink all the time.

And my armpits are the least of it.

Are you having much fun with these?

I've never used them once.

I don't know what

I was thinking with the saw.

You burning what you read?

You want me to burn books?

I know you're not gonna

become a Nazi, I promise you.

But you are gonna make

your pack a lot lighter.

Okay? So... Everything before

Kennedy Meadows...

Wait. Not those.

These will never be burned.

It's your weight.

I don't take pictures at night.

Never.

You... You need the whole roll?

What woman goes on a hike

and brings 12 condoms.

Hey, Ed!

Wait just a minute.

But you'll just send the boots there?

I don't have to do anything?

Thank you so much.

You will be my favorite company

forever and ever.

Okay.

Great.

So what's wrong with James Michener?

He's crap is what's wrong.

And which of his books

have you read that are so...

I haven't read any of his books.

I read things like Adrienne Rich

and Flannery O'Connor.

Which you do, too, now, by the way.

Doesn't it make a difference to you?

Um... I don't know what to say.

I love James Michener!

And I'm not going to stop loving him!

It must be so weird for you.

What?

That I'm just so much more sophisticated

than you were at my age, you know?

Yeah, that was the plan.

What was the plan?

I always wanted you to be

more sophisticated than me.

I just didn't realize

it would hurt sometimes.

Why do you put up with my crap?

You look so pretty in that dress.

And I'll make you another one soon.

What'd you decide about the snow?

Well, I'd like to push on,

if it's possible.

Well, Ed told me a lot of the hikers

went up the PC another 40 miles to Trail Pass.

- Yeah?

- And that's where they're getting forced off

by the snow.

And they're catching a bus

up to Reno and on to Truckee,

just, rejoining the trail

at a lower elevation.

I didn't come out here to ride buses.

You probably didn't come out here

to slide off the side

of a mountain, either.

True.

If you're worried

about cheating yourself,

just make your hike longer.

You know, just, uh... walk to Mount Hood

or the Bridge of the Gods.

The Bridge of the Gods?

I like the sound of that.

Either way, don't beat yourself up.

You, uh... you strike me as someone

who's done plenty of that already.

Can I ride my horse?

Bobbi Grey?

I'm sorry.

- How long?

- Can I ride my horse?

We'll be giving you radiation

to shrink the size of the tumors

along your spine.

The slightest jolt, it could crumble.

How long?

You all right, honey?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Hi, this is Paul.

Leave a message

and I'll call you back whenever I can.

Hey, sorry to call so late.

Thank you.

I'm in Reno. If you were here,

we could get divorced again.

Um...

Anyway, I... I'm still alive.

And that's all my news.

And the sum total

of what I've learned on my hike.

Okay. Bye.

Hi. I'm Cheryl.

I'm an unaccompanied female hitchhiker.

Would it be okay if I got into your car

so that you can rape and dismember me?

Hey, going north?

Yeah, I am, actually.

Okay, I just need a ride

about 12 miles up.

- Well, that's quite a backpack you got there.

- Thanks.

I can't offer you a ride

because I don't have any room.

What do you mean?

Yeah, I'm packed to the gills.

Jimmy Carter.

No relation.

I interview hobos for the Hobo Times.

Drive all over the USA.

And I have to tell you.

Lady hobos? Hard to find.

I think you're mistaken. I'm not a hobo.

Second of all, that's a real thing,

the Hobo Times?

Yeah, it's real enough to pay

for my rent and gas.

So, how long have you been

out on the road?

I'm not "on the road."

I'm hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.

I just had to bypass a chunk of it

because there was a snowfall this year.

Okay, so if you're not a hobo,

where do you live?

I'm between places right now.

I'm probably going to live in Portland

when I get off the PCT.

This is so f***ing cool. I mean...

I've only spoken to maybe one

other female hobo in two years.

Let me reiterate to you,

I am not a hobo.

And that's probably because women

cannot walk out of their lives.

They've got kids to take care of,

they've got parents to look after.

You sound like a feminist.

I am.

That's excellent. That's fantastic.

I love feminists.

So you're trying to tell me

you're not a hobo,

so that means

you have a job then, right?

I've had a whole lot of different jobs.

Up until a couple of years ago,

I was studying.

I hope you don't think

this is too personal,

but I've noticed

it's often personal trauma

that forces people out of their life

and into the hobo life. Would you say

that's been the case for you?

This is my life.

I'm just taking a little time out.

This is not a hobo life.

I don't know what else to tell you.

- Can I get a shot?

- No! That...

Yeah, this should be in the fall issue.

A couple of my pieces have been

in some other magazines.

Harper's has expressed interest.

Harper's?

It's a New York magazine.

Pretty swanky, kind of a big deal...

Yeah, I know what Harper's is.

I want to write for Harper's one day.

I don't really feel like being

their centerfold Bum of the Month.

What's this?

Hobo care package. Thanks a lot!

Hmm.

What's your dog's name?

Stevie Ray. Got him the day he died.

The other Stevie Ray, I mean.

I love Stevie Ray.

Hey, put on Love Struck.

Just came to me

the second you got in this car.

Oh, shut up, Spider! Jesus!

Ignore him. He's nothing

but a horny old bastard.

You must be pretty tough,

hiking this f***ing trail.

I'm in a car with you, taking a ride.

That's not very tough.

That's a cute little boy. How old is he?

He was eight.

I'm so sorry.

He got hit by a truck

when he was riding his bike.

Five years ago.

He was a tough motherf***er,

too. Just like his mom.

I'm really sorry.

I know you are, sweetheart.

I was never me.

Don't. Okay? Don't. It's not over.

We're gonna find somebody who can

help you and we are gonna fight this!

I was always...

A mother or a wife.

I was never even

in the driver's seat of my own life.

I thought there was

so much time, you know?

And just when...

So many things were beginning.

Oh, well!

You've got to be kidding me.

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