Wild Page #4

Hang on.

All right.

I surely would...

Can you stop humming that song?

Happy people sing!

Shut up.

I'm sitting in the railway station

Got a ticket for my destination

The sun is right behind my back

So true north should be over there

I will not lose this f***ing track

Or I'll end up in Delaware

Portland bound

I hope I am Portland bound

Hey!

Hey!

Where am I?

California!

F***ing hilarious.

Plumas County!

Are you lost?

No!

Just screwed.

Hey, beauty.

Hey, my Lady.

She saved my life.

You know, after I left your dad.

I know.

I'm not going to make you

promise anything.

This is hard enough on you as it is.

Just please try and do

the kindest thing.

Come back!

Come back.

Come back!

Here you go. This should keep you warm.

I'll be back in the morning with Leif.

I love you.

You're the center of me.

Everything I am.

Love.

Love.

How's she doing?

The doctor said it would be a year.

It's been a month. One f***ing month!

I'm sorry.

I'll pray for her.

F***ing Saint Patrick.

Go to hell, all you saints.

Thank you, God, for showing me the way.

As if He gives a sh*t.

I'm sorry, but God is a ruthless b*tch.

Yeah, well, I really need him.

It's urgent.

Tell him to get the f*** home.

Where the f*** have you been?

I've been at the hospital all day!

She's dying.

- Don't say that!

- You understand that?

- She can't die.

- She can. She is dying.

Stop it!

She can't die.

There was Killer, and Doobie.

Doo-bie!

And Motorcycle Dan.

Motorcycle Dan... wow!

I wanted to be like that guy.

And Nipper.

"If you press your face

against the glass...

"...you can see a little slice

of Lake Superior."

A room with a view.

She said.

All my life, I've always wanted

a room with a view.

Jesus, she just never stops.

The past few years,

I've acted like she was nothing to me.

But...

really, she was everything.

What are you doing?

Praying.

Shut up.

I'm praying to

the whole f***ing universe...

hoping there's a God.

Because I want a miracle.

I want a f***ing miracle!

Our mother isn't going to die at 45.

Are you burning and yearning?

Do you ever feel blue?

And do you think of returning?

How's the world treating you?

I can't wait to see her face.

She'll be so happy to see you.

So happy to see you...

How much do I love you?

No.

This much?

This much?

This much?

This much?

I'm stuck! I can't go wider.

I can't go wider!

How's the world treating you?

We put ice on her eyes.

What?

She wanted to donate her corneas, so...

Oh, my God.

F*** you, b*tch!

What the f*** do you want?

F*** you, let's go.

I'd rather be a sparrow

than a snail

Yes, I would

If I could

I surely would

I'd rather be a hammer than a nail

Yes, I would

Ow.

I'd rather be a forest than a street

If I could

If I only could

I surely would

I surely would

F*** it.

Can you stop humming that song?

What is wrong with you?

I don't know. What's wrong with you?

I'm happy. Happy people sing!

Why are you happy?

We have nothing, Mom. Nothing.

We're rich in love.

Oh, my God, please.

Don't even start with that.

We're both waitressing full-time.

We're students.

We'll have loans the rest of our lives.

This house...

is falling apart. You're all by yourself

because you married

some abusive alcoholic a**hole.

And I come home and you're singing?

What part of it do you not get?

There's nothing I don't get, believe me.

But then what?

Cheryl, if there's one thing

I could teach you...

It's how to find your best self.

And when you do,

how to hold onto it for dear life.

And this is your best self.

I'm trying.

Do I regret marrying

an abusive alcoholic a**hole?

No.

Not for a second. Because I got you.

And your brother.

See how it works?

It isn't easy...

But it's worth it.

There's going to be

a lot worse days than this.

And you can let them kill you...

But, I don't know... I want to live.

"I want to live."

You couldn't even stick around

and enjoy your miserable happy life.

I think you have packages for me?

My name is Cheryl Strayed.

New boots from REI?

Yes.

How far did you walk in those?

About 50 miles.

You sure there's not another package?

I'm sure. And, lady,

if you walked 50 miles

in duct tape, you got the right package.

It's two bucks for the Snapple.

I'll pass.

Thanks.

You like my shoes?

Dearest Cheryl, you made it halfway.

Six-hundred miles. Damn!

I ran into Aimee. She said you were

making your hike longer.

Did you decide where you'll finish?

Let me know,

I'll send a tube of foot cream.

I'm sorry if I cut you short

on the phone before you left.

I still resent you, I guess.

The funny thing is...

hell, I'll admit it...

I miss you.

Be sure to take plenty of water

with you for the trail.

There's a water tank 20 miles up, right?

Yep. But it's way over

100 degrees out there.

That's a lot of sweat.

Okay. Thanks.

Howdy.

You should have something

for Stacey Johnson.

I'll go check.

Hey, are you hiking the PCT?

Yeah.

Are you?

You're a woman!

You come across a guy named Greg?

Yeah. A while ago, at Kennedy Meadows...

when I knew even less than I do now.

Well, he quit.

What? Greg?

He couldn't deal with the snow.

He's coming back next year.

Wow.

Greg quit and I'm still here?

Cheers to that.

You get lonely?

Honestly, I think I'm lonelier

in my real life than out here.

Yes, I miss my friends,

of course, but...

it's not like anybody's waiting

for me at home.

How about you? Why are you here?

I don't know. I just need to find

something in myself, you know?

I think the trail is good for that.

I mean, look.

This has the power

to fill you up again if you let it.

My mother used to say something

that drove me nuts.

"There's a sunrise

and a sunset every day...

"...and you can choose

to be there for it.

"You can put yourself

in the way of beauty."

My kind of woman.

She was the love of my life.

There's nothing else...

to say.

I thought there'd be couches

and Kleenex and sh*t.

That's 50-bucks-an-hour therapy.

This is 10-bucks-an-hour therapy.

Why were you destroyed

by your mother's death?

Is that your job? To tell the bereaved

they're grieving too much?

People grieve in all sorts of different ways.

I'm asking about yours.

Is mine so bad?

You're using heroin and having sex

with anyone who asks.

I'm not sure these things

are making you happy.

That's where you're wrong.

When I'm doing them,

I feel good and happy.

When I'm not, I feel like I want to die.

You sleep with your husband, too?

No, I'm sort of like a guy about sex.

I prefer to be detached.

You think that's what guys are like?

"You are here"?

I see that poster everywhere,

and I f***ing hate it.

Why would you ever teach

a child they don't matter?

Did you feel you mattered?

I know I mattered.

So who detached from you?

Right. You know what?

This is not going to work.

This is not about talking.

"You want a knuckle sandwich?"

You want a knuckle sandwich?

You want a knuckle sandwich?

Go, go, go! Go get in the car.

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