Wild Oats

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"The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.

"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.

"He leadeth me beside the still waters.

"Yea, though I walk through the

valley of the shadow of death,

"I will fear no evil, for though art with me.

"My rod and my staff, they comfort me.

"Thou preparest a table before me

in the presence of mine enemies.

"Thou anointest my head with oil.

"My cup runneth over.

"Surely goodness and mercy shall

follow me aell the days in my life.

And I will dwell in the house

of the Lord forever."

Reality of death, with all its pain...

Ben...

Ben, maybe you should take her home.

- I can't leave.

- But you can. It's all right.

Honey, it really is.

- I just feel so bad for you.

- I know.

- It's all right.

- He was so healthy.

Well...

I would... oh, God...

- Why don't you just get her out of here.

- No, no.

- I actually have to go.

- No.

I'm...

I'm okay. Sorry.

...to understand what has happened.

That concludes our service.

I've been asked by the family to announce

that food and refreshments will be served

at the Fenton household at 1210 Oak Drive.

- Honey.

- What are you gonna do now?

I don't know.

I mean, you have no one now. No one.

- I have you.

- No, it's not the same.

Pull yourself together, please.

I mean, where are you gonna live?

Well, I was... I would like to live at home.

Without Daddy?

Maybe we can talk about this later.

I have to go to the office.

Are you okay to drive?

Uh, I'm... Clarissa will take me.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

- This sucks.

- Yeah.

Oh, dear, why do they say

he's in a better place?

H-How do they know?

They're all just so self-absorbed.

You know, I know Frank wasn't

a perfect person, but...

I'm scared to be alone now.

Me, too. Me, too.

- Oh, God.

- Oh, Maddie.

- Oh, geez.

- Oh, honey. Oh.

It's all right. It's all right.

I'm not crying about Frank.

You're not?

Huh? Oh, yes, I am.

Oh, Eva, of course I am.

But that's not all of it.

I think Ben is having an affair.

Really?

With that little brunette that types

on the computers in his office.

- Oh, the secretary.

- That's the one.

I thought she was so sweet to come today.

Oh, come on. Eva, I mean...

Jesus, who brings

their secretary to a funeral?

Well, I hadn't thought about that.

Yeah, well, did you see how

everybody was looking at her?

Well, s-some of us were

looking at the coffin.

Well, yeah, I know that.

But, I mean... after that.

After that.

- You are so brave.

- Yes.

I'm sorry, did I say "yes"?

- Yes.

- Well, I meant "no."

- Oh, no.

- Oh.

- He's in a better place.

- Thank you.

I don't know what to say to these people.

I don't feel brave,

and I don't know what to say.

Just say "thank you." And you are brave, Eva.

- And what do they know?

- Eva.

- I'm so sorry.

- Oh.

- Thank you, Jill.

- Jean.

- Jeans.

- Just "Jean."

- Just one "Jean."

- Oh.

I'm just a little confused.

Her husband just died.

You're so brave.

- Thank you.

- How would you know?

- No.

- Oh. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.

- Um, I'm sorry.

Just remember, he's in a better place.

Yes, I hope so.

She seems nice.

- Mom.

- Oh, hi, honey.

Um, this is Monique Windsor.

- Hi, Monique.

- I'm so sorry for your loss.

- Thank you.

- And I just love your house.

- Oh, thanks.

- She thinks that

she can get you something

in the low six figures.

- I don't understand.

- Of course, it'll need a little

sprucing up, but we can

talk about that later.

- Sprucing up?

- Nothing big.

I-I helped her pick out the drapes.

No, I'm very confused here.

- It's kind of like getting ready for a date.

- What to?

Monique is the realtor that

I've been telling you about.

And she made the string bean casserole.

God, somebody actually made that.

- Maddie.

- What she's trying to say is that

if you fix it up a little bit,

you can get a little bit more.

It's usually just little things.

- But we don't have to rush.

- The floral wallpaper.

Oh, the floral wallpaper in

the... in the dining room. Hmm.

Mom, it's old and stained.

It's just like putting lipstick on.

Putting it on what?

We can talk about this later.

- That's a good idea.

- Um, how 'bout I show you

the maid's quarters?

Not that there ever was a maid.

She's right. It's old and it's stained.

I'd like to make her eat this sh*t.

It's your stained wallpaper. It's your house.

You can do whatever you want.

It was Crystal's idea,

and we were having trouble

with the mortgage payments

after he got sick anyway.

But what about his life insurance?

$50,000. How am I going to live on that?

And he sold so many tires.

I know.

Where are you gonna live?

Crystal's picked it out.

It's called Sunset Vista.

And it's 20 miles south of Belleville,

and its slogan is:

"Out of sight, out of mind."

I wonder what Ben's life insurance is.

Mrs. Fenton?

- Yes.

- Hi.

This is the nicest potluck wake

I have ever been to.

Oh. Well, thank you.

You don't recognize me, do you?

No, I'm sorry.

Laurie Pinkerton.

- Tenth grade history?

- Oh, my goodness.

Laurie Pinkerton. How you've grown.

You were always my favorite teacher.

I never, never get tired of hearing that.

By the way, Mrs. Fenton,

do you know my dad, Greg Pinkerton?

You might have seen him around town.

He's a veteran. He lost a leg to diabetes.

He used to drink like a crazy person, but

he has been on the wagon now for six years.

Oh, well, he sounds very colorful.

Anyway, his third wife just passed away.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

- How many legs did she have?

I-I guess what I'm trying to say is,

he's very lonely, and he always

thought you were so pretty.

Oh. We never met.

In my yearbook photos.

Well, that... that was many,

many years ago, dear.

Well, anyway, I was... I was just thinking...

- Get out!

- Shush, Maddie.

Oh, I don't know what I'm saying.

He's just so lonely.

And you say he's just got the one leg?

Well, for the moment, yeah.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Fenton.

This should be your day.

I thought so, too.

Triglycerides, 83. HDL, 40.

Your LDL, 122. Might want to cut down

on the red meats and dairy.

But, all in all, you're in great shape.

Charlie, do you have a test for Alzheimer's?

Yes. But why would you be interested?

Because yesterday

I walked out of the ladies' room

at the Starlight Diner

and I made the wrong turn

and I ended up in the kitchen.

Is that normal?

What'd you have for breakfast this morning?

Uh, two poached eggs, homemade grape jam

over one slice of seven-grain bread.

Mrs. Fenton, your mind is

a steel trap. Now go away.

Charlie, do you mind if I pay

you on the first of the month?

I really hate to ask.

- Of course. Don't worry about it.

- Thank you.

You know, you were

the best teacher I ever had.

Thank you.

And I never get tired of hearing that.

- You know what I always remember?

- What's that?

How you would talk about

Christopher Columbus.

Well, he was so awful.

Yeah, but you always had a way

of making it come alive.

Okay, he was brave.

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