Wild Wild West Page #9

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EXT. OPELOUSAS, LOUISIANA - ESTABLISH - DAY

The little town is a charming jumble of antebellum brick

and wooden buildings.

EXT. OPELOUSAS - NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY

Artemus and Jim hurry along a muddy street looking for an

address in a row of houses. They spot it and rush up the

steps. When Jim knocks on the door it swings open partway,

unlocked. Bad sign. Jim pulls his gun. Artemus nudges

the door open with his walking stick.

INT. DR. PEMBERTON'S HOUSE - FRONT HALL - DAY

Jim and Artemus ease inside, listening. All is silent.

Then -- PLINK, PLINK, PLINK. Water is dripping down the

stairwell, faster and faster, now starting to pour.

JIM:

Dr. Pemberton? Are you there?

No answer, so they race up the stairs.

INT. DR. PEMBERTON'S HOUSE - LABORATORY - DAY

BAM! The locked door is smashed open by Jim. As he

charges in we see Artemus crouched in the doorway, his

lockpick poised where the lock used to be.

The room is a cluttered, top-floor workshop. Nobody there.

Steam billows from a small test boiler. And the water is

pouring from a spigot in a holding tank, left running,

overflowing a bucket. Artemus sloshes over and shuts it

off.

ARTEMUS:

Seems like he left in a hurry...

Outside, they hear a SCUFFLE. They dash to the window.

THEIR P.O.V. - THE BACK ALLEY

Three floors below they see familiar faces -- big Bruno,

even bigger Voltaire, and TWO OTHER THUGS -- wrestling

someone into an enclosed carriage! The DRIVER lashes the

horses. The carriage speeds down the muddy alley.

BACK TO SCENE:

ARTEMUS:

It's them all right! Damn it!

They're getting away!

JIM:

From you maybe.

Artemus is baffled as Jim backs up and bursts into a

furious run -- straight for an open side window! He dives

straight through!

ARTEMUS:

JIM!

EXT. ROOFTOPS - DAY

Jim sails through the air and tumbles onto the flat roof

of the lower house next door.

EXT. WINDOW - DAY

Artemus races to the window, relieved to see his partner

alive and dismayed that his partner is, in fact, his

partner. Artemus turns and runs for the stairs.

EXT. ROOFTOPS - DAY

Jim is already up and sprinting across the roof, keeping

an eye on the carriage below. He races to the edge of

the roof and leaps into space again!

On he goes, leaping from roof to roof, but gaining on the

carriage.

EXT. LAST ROOFTOP - DAY

Jim gets ahead of the carriage, but he's run out of

rooftops. He slides to a stop at the roof edge. Now how

to get down?

Beside the roof he spots the top of a railroad crossing

barrier. It's in the vertical position, letting traffic

cross the tracks below. And here comes the carriage toward

the tracks.

Jim gets that determined look. He's got to time it just

right. He waits, then leaps off the roof, wrapping himself

around the tip of the barrier. It starts to swing down --

EXT. BACK ALLEY - DAY

With perfect timing, Jim arcs down toward the carriage

and WHAM! -- lands on the roof right behind the driver.

As the startled man turns, he gets booted in the jaw, and

flies off the carriage.

Jim pulls the team to a stop, draws his revolver and leaps

to the ground. But the carriage door slams open, knocking

his pistol off into a puddle and Bruno launches out of

the cab into Jim. Over they go into the mud.

Bruno pins Jim beneath him, sits up, and c*cks a meaty

fist to smash Jim in the face. But Jim jams two fingers

up Bruno's nostrils, yanks his face close and slugs him.

Bruno's head snaps back. Jim yanks him in again. Slugs

him again. Bruno topples off.

One thug, wielding a knife, dives out of the carriage.

Jim straight-legs him in the crotch and pivots him straight

up and over onto his back -- OOF!!

Jim scrambles up. Catches sight of Voltaire through the

rear window of the carriage drawing a pistol! Without

hesitating, Jim throws a pounding left hook right through

the glass. Voltaire is knocked across the inside of the

carriage, pinning the other thug beneath him.

Jim yanks open the other door of the carriage. Frightened

Dr. Pemberton flinches. Jim does a startled take -- it's

DR. VIRGINIA PEMBERTON, a beautiful young woman. Jim

glances around. Nobody else it could be.

JIM:

Dr. Pemberton?

PEMBERTON:

Yes!

But Bruno flies in, tackling Jim and pinning him in a

choke-hold against the fence. Jim manages to GAG:

JIM:

Would you please run, ma'am?

She happily obeys, scrambling from the carriage and dashing

down the alley.

VOLTAIRE:

Get her!

The two thugs scramble up and dash after her.

Still pinned to the fence, all Jim can do is spit in

Bruno's eye. Bruno flinches and Jim knees him where it

hurts most. The big guy staggers back.

ANGLE - DR. PEMBERTON

dashing down the alley. The thugs are just about to grab

her when -- a silver-handled walking stick thrusts out,

tripping them. Down they go. Artemus steps from around

the corner, squares off with them, menacingly twirling

the walking stick.

ARTEMUS:

Terribly sorry. I'm always sticking

this where it doesn't belong.

(to Dr. Pemberton)

Federal agents, ma'am. We're

rescuing a kidnap victim...

PEMBERTON:

Yes, me!

ARTEMUS:

You? Dr. Pemberton? Of course.

How novel.

The thugs jump to their feet, one whipping out his pistol.

WHAM! A flash of silver and Artemus has knocked the gun

from his hand. He waves a finger at the guy:

ARTEMUS:

Never shoot an unarmed man.

The other thug pulls a huge Bowie knife. Artemus strikes

an en garde pose and goes a few parries with the guy before

deftly knocking the knife from his hand.

Enraged, they both charge like bulls. Wrong move -- WHAM!

WHAM! The walking stick is a blur as Artemus hits both

dopes up side their heads. As they whirl for another

attack, grabbing boards as clubs.

ARTEMUS:

Tsk tsk...

He collapses his walking stick like a telescope and pops

the silver handle off the end -- it's still connected by

a two foot-long cable. Gripping the shortened stick,

Artemus swings the heavy silver handle like a Crusader

swings a deadly mace.

Spinning it in a blinding blur, he wades into them, bashing

and bruising right and left until the bad guys have had

enough and go running down the alley.

Artemus is about to give chase when Dr. Pemberton points

out:

PEMBERTON:

Isn't your friend in a bit of

trouble?

Artemus turns to look.

ANGLE - JIM

is surrounded by three very angry guys -- bloody-nosed

Bruno, outraged Voltaire, and the bruised carriage driver.

The three men raise their "dukes," the bare-knuckles boxing

stance. They're amused when Jim strikes a very different

pose -- a martial arts defensive position.

Jim explodes in a blur of martial arts ferocity. A right

leg back-sweep drops unsuspecting Bruno.

A back-two-knuckle-punch further damages Voltaire's already

unhappy face. A right-leg-side-kick doubles over the

carriage driver. Let's just say these three hard cases

are totally outclassed -- and in a lot of pain.

The driver gives up first, frantically leaping onto the

carriage, lashing the horses. Voltaire and Bruno race

after it and scramble inside.

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