Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory Page #5

The most fantastic thing I've ever seen.

Look at my waterfall.

That's the most important thing.

It's mixing my chocolate.

It's actually churning my chocolate.

No other factory in the world

mixes chocolate by waterfall.

But it's the only way

if you want it just right.

Grandpa, look over across the river!

Little men!

Jumping crocodiles, Charlie!

Now we know who makes it.

I never saw anybody

with an orange face before.

Funny looking people.

What are they doing?

Creaming and sugaring time.

- They can't be real people.

- Of course, they're real people.

Nonsense!

No, Oompa Loompas.

From Loompaland.

Loompaland?

There's no such place!

Excuse me, dear lady...

I teach geography.

Then you know all about it.

And what a terrible country it is.

Nothing but desolate wastes

and fierce beasts.

The poor little Oompa Loompas

were so small and helpless...

...they would get gobbled up.

A Wangdoodle would eat

ten of them for breakfast.

And so I said...

"Come and live with me

in peace and safety...

"... away from all the Wangdoodles

and Hornswogglers...

"... and Snozzwangers

and rotten Vermicious Knids. "

Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids?

What kind of rubbish is that?

I'm sorry, questions

must be submitted in writing.

So, in the greatest of secrecy...

...I transported the entire population

of Oompa Loompas here.

I want an Oompa Loompa.

I want you to get me one right away!

All right, I'll get you one

before the day's out.

I want an Oompa Loompa now!

Can it, you nit!

This is terrific.

- Grandpa, look at Augustus.

- Don't worry, he can't drink it all.

Augustus, sweetheart,

save some room for later.

Don't do that! My chocolate

must never be touched by human hands.

Don't do that!

You're contaminating my entire river!

Please, I beg you!

Augustus!

My chocolate!

Help!

My chocolate!

My beautiful chocolate!

Don't just stand there!

Do something!

Help. Police. Murder.

Grab this!

What's happening to him?

- Looks like he's drowning.

- Dive in!

- Save him!

- It's too late.

- Too late?

- He's had it now.

- The suction's got him.

- Augustus, come back!

Where is he?

Watch the pipe.

How long is he going to stay down?

- He can't swim!

- No better time to learn.

His coat's going up the pipe!

Call a plumber!

He's stuck in the pipe, isn't he?

It's his stomach.

- He's blocking the chocolate!

- What happens now?

The pressure will get him out.

It's building up behind the blockage.

I wonder how long it's going to take?

The suspense is terrible.

I hope it'll last.

He'll never get out.

Yes, he will.

Remember you once asked me

how a bullet comes out of a gun?

He'll be marshmallows in 5 seconds!

- Impossible, dear lady! Unthinkable!

- Why?

Because that pipe

goes to the Fudge Room.

You terrible man!

Take Mrs. Gloop to the Fudge Room,

but look sharp...

...or her boy will get in the boiler.

You boiled him up!

Nil desperandum. Across the desert

lies the promised land.

Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop.

Adieu! Auf wiedersehen.

Gesundheit. Farewell.

Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do

I've got a perfect puzzle for you

Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Dee

If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get

when you guzzle down sweets?

Eating as much as an elephant eats

What are you at getting terribly fat?

What do you think will come of that?

I don't like the look of it

Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Da

If you're not greedy,

you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa

Doompa Dee Do

What kind of place you running here?

What's he talking about?

Wow, what a boat!

Looks good enough to eat!

That's a nice little canoe.

"All I ask is a tall ship

and a star to sail her by. "

All aboard!

Ladies first.

That means Veruca.

If she's a lady,

I'm a Vermicious Knid.

- You sure this thing will float?

- With your buoyancy, rest assured.

She's trs jolie,

but is she seaworthy?

Nothing to worry about.

I take good care of my guests.

- You took good care of that August kid.

- Everybody aboard!

You're going to love this.

Just love it.

I want a boat like this. A beautiful

paddle boat, that's what I want.

What she wants is a kick in the pants.

I'm going to be seasick.

- Try one of these.

- What are they?

Rainbow drops.

You can spit in 7 colors.

Spitting's a dirty habit.

I know a worse one.

- What business are you in?

- Nuts.

Where are we going?

I don't like that tunnel.

I want off!

Around the world and home again.

That's the sailor's way!

I don't like this ride, Daddy!

We're going too fast!

We're going to sink!

- Why doesn't he stop the boat?!

- Faster!

Close your eyes and hang on tight!

- What is this, a freak-out?!

- This isn't funny!

You can't possibly see

where you're going!

You're right. I can't.

This would make a great series!

- This is kind of strange.

- Yes, strange, Charlie. But it's fun!

I want to get off the boat, Wonka!

I may get sick!

This is going too far!

Tell that little guy to turn us around!

Now I am going to be sick!

There's no earthly way of knowing

Which direction we are going

There's no knowing where we're rowing

Or which way the river's flowing

Is it raining

Is it snowing

Is a hurricane a-blowing

Not a speck of light is showing,

so the danger must be growing!

Are the fires of hell a-blowing?

Is the grizzly reaper mowing?

Yes!

The danger must be growing

for the rowers keep on rowing!

And they're certainly not showing...

...any signs that they are slowing!

Make him stop, Daddy!

- This has gone far enough!

- Quite right, sir.

Stop the boat!

- We're there.

- Where?

Here.

A small step for mankind,

but a giant step for us.

All ashore!

Let me off this freight!

- Why don't they show that stuff on TV?

- I don't know.

What a nightmare!

Daddy, I do not want a boat like this.

"Dairy cream. "

"Whipped cream. "

- "Coffee cream. "

- "Vanilla cream. "

"Hair cream?"

That's not French.

I can't take much more.

The Inventing Room.

Now remember, no messing about.

No touching, no tasting, no telling.

No telling what?

All of my most secret inventions

are cooking and simmering in here.

Old Slugworth would give his false teeth

to get inside for five minutes.

So don't touch a thing!

Inventing room?

Looks more like a Turkish bath.

Even if Slugworth did get in here,

he couldn't find anything.

- You got a garbage strike?

- Who does cleaning?

Shouldn't you wear gloves?

You'll have health inspectors after you.

Invention, my dear friends,

is 93% perspiration...

...6% electricity...

...4% evaporation...

...and 2% butterscotch ripple.

That's one hundred and five percent!

Any good?

Yes.

Excuse me.

Time is a precious thing.

Never waste it.

- He's absolutely bonkers!

- That's not bad.

In springtime

The only pretty ring time

Birds sing

Hey, ding a ding-a-ding

Sweet lovers love...

...the spring

I told you not to, silly boy.

Your teeth!

Boy, that's great stuff.

That's exploding candy,

for your enemies. Great idea.

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