Wit Page #2

''Significant contribution to knowledge.''

''Eight cycles of chemotherapy.''

Give me the full dose.

The full dose every time.

The attention was flattering...

for the first five minutes.

-Name?

-My name?

Vivian Bearing.

Bearing. B-E-A-R-l-N-G.

Vivian. V-l-V-l-A-N.

-Doctor?

-Yes, l have a Ph.D.

Your doctor?

Dr. Harvey Kelekian.

l am a doctor of philosophy.

Take a deep breath and hold it.

Okay.

A scholar of 17th century poetry.

Arms above your head, and hold it.

Okay.

l have made an immeasurable contribution

to the discipline of English literature.

l am, in short, a force.

Okay, that's it.

Name?

Lucy, Countess of Bedford.

-l don't see it here.

-My name is Vivian Bearing.

B-E-A-R-l-N-G. Dr. Kelekian is my doctor.

Okay, lie down.

After an astounding

undergraduate career...

l studied for three years

with Prof. E.M. Ashford...

during which l learned

by instruction and example...

what it means to be

a scholar of distinction.

As a research Fellow, my principal task...

was the alphabetizing of index cards

for Ashford's monumental critical edition...

of Donne's

Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions.

l am thanked in the preface.

''Miss Vivian Bearing,

for her able assistance.''

Thank you.

Where's your wheelchair?

l do not know. l was busy, just now.

How you gonna get outta here?

-l could walk.

-lt's not permitted.

l do not know,

perhaps you would like me to stay?

l guess l gotta go find you a chair.

Don't inconvenience yourself on my behalf.

Miss Bearing, this is Jason Posner.

He's gonna do your medical history

and ask you a few questions.

He's Dr. Kelekian's Fellow.

l'm Dr. Posner, clinical Fellow

at the medical oncology branch...

working with Dr. Kelekian.

Sit over here, please.

Prof. Bearing,

l was a student at the university.

-Took your course in 17th century poetry.

-Did you?

Yes, l thought it was excellent.

Thank you.

-Were you an English major?

-No, biochemistry.

You can't get into med school

unless you're well-rounded.

l bet with myself l could get an A

in the three hardest courses.

How'd you do?

-Success.

-Really?

A-minus. lt was a very tough course.

-Yeah, l'll call you.

-Okay.

l'll just wheel this over.

Okay, l'm going to be taking your history...

which is a medical interview,

and then l give you an exam.

l believe Dr. Kelekian

has already done that.

l know, but Dr. Kelekian

wanted me to do one too.

Very well.

Okay, let's just get started.

-How are you feeling today?

-Fine, thank you.

-And how's your general health?

-Fine.

Good.

-We know that you're an academic.

-Yes, we've established that.

-So we don't need to talk about your work.

-No.

-How old are you?

-48.

-Are you married?

-No.

-Are your parents living?

-No.

How and when did they die?

My father, suddenly,

of a heart attack when l was 21 .

My mother, slowly, when l was 41 or 42.

Of breast cancer.

-Cancer?

-Breast cancer.

-l see. Any siblings?

-No.

And now your past medical history.

-Have you ever been hospitalized?

-l had my tonsils out when l was eight.

-Have you ever been pregnant?

-No.

-Heart murmurs?

-No.

-High blood pressure?

-No.

-Venereal diseases, uterine infections--

-No.

-Thyroid, diabetes, cancer--

-No. Cancer, yes.

-When?

-Now.

-Not including now.

-ln that case, no.

Okay.

Clinical depression, nervous breakdown,

suicide attempts--

No.

-Do you smoke?

-No.

-Ethanol.

-l beg your pardon?

Alcohol.

-Ethanol. Yes, l drink wine.

-How much, how often?

A glass, with dinner, occasionally,

and perhaps a scotch every now and then.

-Do you use any substances?

-Such as?

Marijuana, cocaine, crack cocaine,

PCP, ecstasy, poppers--

No.

-Do you drink caffeinated beverages?

-Yes.

-Which ones?

-Coffee, a few cups a day.

-How many?

-Two to six.

But l don't think that's immoderate.

How often do you have

routine medical checkups?

Not as often as l should probably,

but l've felt fine, l really have.

-So, the answer is?

-Every three to five years.

What do you do for exercise?

Pace.

-Are you having sexual relations?

-Not at the moment.

-Are you pre or post-menopausal?

-Post.

-When did your periods stop?

-About two years ago.

Okay.

When did you first notice

your present complaint?

-This time, now?

-Yes.

About four months ago, l felt a pain

in my stomach, in my abdomen...

like a cramp, but not the same.

-How did it feel?

-Like a cramp.

-But not the same?

-Duller and stronger, l can't describe it.

-What happened next?

-l don't know...

l started noticing my body, little things.

l would be teaching and feel a sharp pain.

What kind of pain?

Sharp...

and sudden.

Then it would go away,

or, l would be tired....

Exhausted. l was working

on a major project...

the article on John Donne...

for the Oxford Encyclopedia

of English Literature.

lt was a great honor,

but l had a very strict deadline.

-Were you under stress?

-lt wasn't much more stress than usual...

l just couldn't withstand it this time.

So....

l went to see Dr. Chin, my gynecologist,

after l'd turned in the article.

She examined me,

sent me to Jefferson, the internist...

who sent me to Kelekian

because he thought l might have a tumor.

-And that's it.

-Till now.

That's very interesting.

l guess we'll start the exam.

Why don't you just sort of lie back

and relax.

Won't take a minute.

Let me get this sheet.

Here.

Okay.

Yeah, just....

Feet in the stirrups here.

Okay.

Okay.

Could you just.... Yeah.

There. Okay.

Good, okay.

Okay.

l've got to go get Susie.

l've got to have a girl here,

some crazy, clinical rule.

Don't move, l'll be right back.

l wish l had given him an A.

Two times one is two.

Two times two is four.

Two times three is six.

''Death be not proud

''Though some have called thee

mighty and dreadful

''For, thou art not so

''For, those whom thou think'st,

thou dost overthrow

''Die not, poor death

''Nor yet canst thou kill me''

Has anybody seen Susie?

''One short sleep past

''We wake eternally

''And death shall be no more,''

Comma.

''Death thou shalt die''

Okay, here's everything.

-Why did you leave her like this?

-l had to find you, now come on.

We're ready, Prof. Bearing.

Just get this on.

All right.

Just get this up.

Just relax.

Okay.

lsn't that interesting, Susie,

that l had Prof. Bearing?

Yeah. l wish l had taken some literature.

l don't know anything about poetry.

Prof. Bearing was

highly regarded on campus.

Her course looked very good

on my transcript.

They even asked me about it

in my interview to medical school.

-Jesus.

-What?

What?

Yeah, l survived Bearing's course.

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, John Donne,

those metaphysical poets?

That metaphysical wit.

Hardest poetry in the English department.

Like to see them try biochemistry.

Okay.

We're almost done, all right. Yeah, okay.

That's it, we're done.

l gotta go.

Take her feet out. Yeah.

Thank you.

l'm just gonna....

That was...

hard.

That was....

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