Without a Paddle Page #9

- The plan was for me to sacrifice

myself if need be

while you two ran for it.

- I didn't know.

- My grenade...

- I'm not a mind reader, Jerry.

- Give me back my grenade.

Run!

It's gonna blow!

All right, that's it. You're dead.

When all this is over, someone's

buying the first round. Not it.

- Not it.

- Enough of this sh*t. Just shoot them.

Do you think there's beer in heaven?

I was thinking about the bar

in town.

- Let's get off this mountain.

- All right.

These charges are "unsubstantuated"

and "injustifigurable" and...

That's right. We did it.

How you like me now?

This is the scene here

at police headquarters

as three local heroes emerge

to a cheering crowd.

The men accidentally helped break up

one of the biggest drug rings

in state history while hiking

in a remote section of the Cascades.

My old man would not believe this.

- Billy wouldn't believe it.

- Actually, know what?

I think he would.

Oh, my goodness.

Look at this ensemble. I like it.

- Look at you.

- Thank you, boys.

Look at this stud. Del!

No names. Fuzz.

Glad I caught you guys before you

headed out. I got something for you.

What's this?

- D.B.'s parachute. Are you sure?

- Damn sure.

There's a little something for you

rolled up inside there too.

- Thank you.

- So where you headed?

Thought I'd see the world.

I might even hit Washington.

Wow. One state over.

Till I do, I'm just telling tall tales.

Remember, carry your friends

wherever you go.

Close to your heart.

Or on your back.

I got D.B.'s bones in my satchel.

Thought I'd give him a proper burial.

I spent 30 years

waiting to have a life.

- What the hell?

- Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my God.

D.B. Didn't burn it all.

He couldn't. It was Del's share.

There's gotta be 100 grand in here.

We'll split it three ways.

One-third, one-third, one-third?

You know what?

No, thanks. I'm...

- I'm good.

- I'm not good.

You guys split it.

You wanna split it? Fifty-fifty?

Actually, I can't.

Because I bet you 100 grand

that you couldn't catch a salmon

with a flashlight and I lost.

Besides, Tom, you got bills to pay.

You got a new life to start.

I don't know what to say.

Just say we're square.

No, actually, we're not square.

I seem to recall a certain part

of that wager being one left nut,

and I'm gonna get it.

Come on, pleated pants, let's go.

- Hey, Tom. Hey. Hey.

- Oh, no.

Don't make me go in

through the throat.

- I'm going through the throat.

- You said I could keep it.

- No, I didn't.

- Tom, you said I could keep it.

Jerry! Officer!

Hi. This is Jerry, and I can't

come to the phone right now,

because I am busy trying

to convince the love of my life

to give me another chance.

And I will prove to her

that I grew up just enough

to know that I want the responsibility,

day in and day out,

of being there for her

in this relationship,

which I am hoping will someday

become marriage and kids

and a long and unbelievably

happy life together.

Hi, honey.

So happy right now.

That was really, really beautiful.

- Will you get the light, hon?

- Oh, yeah.

You're so good at that now.

And then I jumped on the grenade

to save my buddies and...

Blew my rib cage all to sh*t.

Sent me 156 feet in the air.

Then I went back and paid off

all my debts in full with D.B.'s money.

One question.

What's a downstairs?

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