Wodehouse in Exile Page #6

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Well.

You are not exactly consumed

with interest in that

side of life, are you?

Mumps. That's what did it. Mumps.

Ethel, I have tried everything to

get back to England

and clear my name.

It's all I want to do.

Until I do that, I feel I cannot

go on with my life.

I'm writing my novel...

About Stilton Cheesewright.

What are they going to make of that

when all of Europe is being

torn apart?

You're beginning to sound like that

man on the Daily Mirror, old thing.

If I don't clear my name,

I will never have a public again.

It's a matter of life and death.

The Allies will be here any day.

When they arrive, I shall turn

myself in and tell them the truth

and perhaps at last people

will know I am not a traitor.

Messieurs et Mesdames,

si vous voulez descendre en

bas a cause de...

A cause de British planes.

Aren't they a bore?

Merci. S'il vous plait.

Bonjour!

You can speak English, if you prefer.

You speak English?

I do.

Also German, I imagine.

I have been speaking

a lot of German.

But I imagine it will not be

required in the immediate future.

Indeed. What a wicked world. Eh?

A very wicked world, sir.

But I am sure the best side won,

as you English say.

I am looking for PG Wodehouse.

He is in the hotel, sir.

I am Major Muggeridge

of British Intelligence.

Indeed.

I hope Mr Wodehouse

is not in any trouble

with the British authorities.

He is a most popular guest.

I couldn't comment on that.

I'm in Intelligence

and we're never told anything.

I am afraid the lift is broken.

You must use the stairs.

Pas de probleme.

Come.

Major Muggeridge.

British Intelligence.

And a novelist,

if I'm not mistaken.

Well...

Although I'm afraid

I'm here on more serious business.

Indeed.

It has been alleged that you have

been in breach of Section One

of the Treachery Act of 1940.

Indeed.

I'm sure you are aware

of the penalties

if found guilty of such an of fence.

I assume we still hang traitors,

don't we?

Or is drawing and quartering

coming back into fashion?

Shall I send down

for a bottle of wine?

A very good notion.

Do they hate me in England?

Not everyone. AA Milne took

a rather dim view.

Hush, hush. Nobody cares Christopher

Robin has fallen downstairs.

Quite. He was supposed to be

a friend of mine.

I can't bear to think what this

is doing to Leonora.

She's...?

My stepdaughter. But I adopted her.

She's been wonderful

in all of this.

Oh, I wish I wasn't going

into hospital.

Darling,

it isn't a serious operation.

It's Plum.

Someone will need to talk to

the politicians and press

and sort it all out

and if I'm not there...

You will be there, darling.

But first of all, you need to rest.

He's an imbecile.

A complete imbecile.

He's a kind of saint. In a way.

You're just worrying

about the operation. That's all.

I've been a fool. An absolute fool.

All I want to do now

is to clear my name.

People have printed lies about me

in the English papers.

I received money from Dr Goebbels.

I threw cocktail parties

for the Nazis. Well, I didn't.

I want to tell the truth

and have it published.

Chap called Major Cussen

will do the interrogation.

Barrister. I'm sure you'll get on.

You're not obliged to say anything,

but whatever you do say

will be taken down and may be used

in evidence against you.

I understand.

I was born in Guildford, Surrey,

on October 15th 1881,

of British born parents.

In 1900, I joined the Hong Kong

and Shanghai Bank in London...

..In 1917 I was rejected

for military service

by the United States authorities

on account of defective eyesight...

..People have said I was paid

by the Germans. I wasn't.

I lived off the royalties from

my books while I was in Germany.

I tried my damndest to get out,

but they wouldn't let me go.

He's up there now.

Will he really be all right?

It'll be fine, Ethel. Great is

the truth and it shall prevail.

I can't think you really

believe that, Malcolm.

Weren't you a journalist?

Unfortunately I was, Ethel.

He wants the truth to be told.

That is the important thing.

You have been so kind to us, Malcolm.

I think Lagerfuhrer Buchelt had

been told to sound me out as to

whether I was willing to broadcast,

and he reported to Berlin.

But I did not broadcast in exchange

for being released.

I never had any intention

of assisting the enemy.

And I have been caused a great

deal of pain by my actions.

Can we talk about Mackintosh?

Mackintosh?

He was the man released

at the same time as you.

Mackintosh received the same orders

as myself. He...

We have tracked him down.

And interviewed him.

You say he came with you to

the Foreign Office.

You were put in a hotel room

with him.

I spent a few days locked up

in the Adlon with him.

But...

I couldn't say I knew him.

Why release him at the same time

as you, Mr Wodehouse?

I really have no idea.

He always says, if something bad

happens, the answer is

to think of something else,

pretty damn quick.

He isn't equipped for this nasty

little century, is he?

Its lies and cruelties

and distortions.

There have been times when I thought

this business would drag him under.

But...

Life's a musical comedy.

Don't you think?

"Don't let them get you down."

He writes wonderful lyrics.

Shove all your worries

in a great big box

As big as any box can be

Shove all your worries

in a great big box

And lock it with a great big key

Crying never yet

got anybody anywhere

So just stick out your chin

And shove all your worries

in a great big box

And sit on the lid and grin!

You see, Mr Wodehouse,

it is clear to me,

and this is what I shall say

in my report, that the

actual text of your broadcasts

is not of a pro-German character.

I cannot tell you how happy

that makes me.

But...

But?

Did you intend to assist the enemy?

If you obtained your release upon

condition that you would broadcast...

I did NOT.

All we need to do is to confirm

your statement to that effect.

I think Werner Plack and

the Lagerfuhrer,

unless they chose to lie, would

confirm that that is the truth.

It is the truth.

As would my fellow internees.

I partly made those broadcasts

to show the world

we were not giving in

to the Germans.

Mr Wodehouse, Plack

and his friends are probably

dodging masonry in Berlin.

All we have is the evidence of

this man Mackintosh.

He has been arrested and is in

a military prison in Belgium.

Shall we continue this tomorrow?

I am only concerned to make sure

all the evidence in this case

is made public.

So that my name may be cleared.

I fully appreciate that.

Oh, by the way, huge fan of Jeeves.

Thank you.

I've been reading your stuff again.

Marvellous.

"She had a laugh like a troop of

cavalry charging over a tin bridge."

Marvellous.

Are you OK?

Cussen's a reasonable man.

It's going your way.

All we need to do is to set out

the true facts before the public.

Then you can go back to England

and...

What are THEY after?

Monsieur Wodenhorse?

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