Women In Trouble Page #3

and l just wouldn't-

l wouldn't have the faintest.

- l'm flattered, but l'm not.

- Well, look, look, look.

Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

l want to say something.

Now, let me tell you something.

- l would very much like

to carry on floating with you

after we land.

And l would like for you

to come along to my hotel

and maybe drop some ecstasy

and just be.

- ls that right?

- Yeah, l'm just so sick

of this army

of blank-eyed zombies

all around me.

Do you know?

And l feel that perhaps

you are as well, am l right?

Well, you know what

l'm talking about, right?

l mean, they're out to steal

our air, our soul, our music.

And they will stop at nothing.

See, the thing is,

they have no substance.

They're made of dust

and numbers.

Their hearts are nothing

but cheap little calculators

that just keep pumping out

receipts.

Do you know what l'm saying?

So what do you say?

- Uh...

uh, l...

l...

l don't know.

l have to get back to work.

- What?

Are you blushing?

That's f***ing sexy.

Ah.

- And how is Prince Charming

doing?

- l'm pretty sure

he's on something.

- Pretty sure?

The band left him behind.

The manager's escorting him

because they don't trust

he'll get to his show

on his own.

- lt says all that

in your paperback?

- l looked it up online

during takeoff.

- l think he's very nice.

- Every rattlesnake

has its charms.

- Am l detecting just a whiff

of jealousy here?

Could it be because rock god

Nick Chapel

is paying more attention to me

than he is to you?

l'm just looking out

for my girl...

and her fianc.

- Oh, that is low.

Even for you.

- Low?

Who was sticking her ass

in the drummer boy's face

pretending the movie screen

was stuck?

- And who'd l learn that from?

- Oh, when l do it,

it's a masterpiece of subtlety.

No.

This is you.

- That's kind of hot,

admit it.

But l have a little more junk

in my trunk.

- Even a little more

than you'd like these days...

- Ah.

- And that's why you're being

all Mother Superior.

- Oh, you're such a whore.

- Besides...

even if something happened,

and that's a mighty big if,

Benjamin would never find out.

And even if he did,

he might understand.

- Right.

- Couples give each other

free passes

for certain celebrities.

- And you guys do that?

- No.

But Nick Chapel would be

on the list.

- So ethically and morally,

you're all set.

l mean, it would almost be

irresponsible of you

not to f*** him.

- The guy wrote

Welcomed by a Kiss.

How many drummers wrote

their band's best song?

- Don Henley, Phil Collins,

Gil Moore.

- Who the hell is Gil Moore?

- He split songwriting duties

with Rik Emmett in Triumph.

- Who the hell is Triumph?

- Who the hell is Tri-

Fight the Good Fight,

When the Lights go Down.

Magic Power.

l'm young, l'm wild,

and l'm free

l got the magic power

of the-

- Uh, pardon me, ladies.

l just need to use the lavatory.

- Gosh.

- Nice.

What do you think?

- l think if you're asking me

what l think,

you've already made up

your mind.

- Does it make me a bad person?

- Who am l to judge?

- You done this before?

- Mm-mm. Never.

- Are you sure?

- l'm sure, are you?

- No, never.

- Oh, look,

you're blushing again.

- Once before.

- What, with a passenger?

- Oh, God, no.

Pilot.

- While he was flying the plane?

There was a copilot too.

- What, you did both?

- l mean the copilot

was flying the plane

while l was with the pilot.

- All right, look.

Full disclosure here?

- Yeah.

- lt's my second time.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, we're flying

commercial here.

l mean, we're not counting

private, are we?

- You're the one counting.

- Look.

l feel the need to tell you

that l've recently been dating

a porn star, okay?

Her name is Elektra Luxx.

- Oh, you-you don't need

to tell me that.

- No? You may have seen

the sex video that got leaked.

- Um...

- Well, it's a delicate matter

because some women,

they-they get intimidated

because they're trying

to measure up, you know?

- Yeah.

- No, l need for you to know

that with you...

it's not the sex l'm after.

Not that l was into Elektra

for that exclusively either,

you understand?

- Mm-hmm.

But with you, you see,

l'm turned on by talent,

by people who are the best

at what they do.

And l look at you, and l say,

"Oh, she's the best."

And l can tell

in the blink of an eye.

But with her,

look, Elektra, she's-

As much as l applaud the fact

she can pin both ankles

behind her ears

while she orgasms,

it's just always felt like

emotional quicksand, you know?

But with you...

l can feel your organic essence,

you know, your animal core.

l mean, that's what your name

means, right, Cora?

lt's like the core,

the center.

The heart of the orchard.

- That's right.

ding!

- Sorry, folks, we caught

a sliver of that storm

l mentioned earlier.

lt should go back

to smooth sailing

in just a moment or so.

So if you could kindly return

to your seat

and fasten your seat belt.

- Oh!

- Cora?

Guys.

- Oh, my God, Maggie.

- What?

- l think he's dead.

- He was giving me oral,

and then he bumped his head,

and it sounded

like something broke,

and l can't wake him.

ls he not breathing?

- l can't tell.

But l can tell you

where all the blood went.

- Oh, Maggie,

you got to help me.

l am so f***ed.

- Okay.

l'm gonna go see if there's

a doctor on the plane.

Put his clothes back on

and pull yourself together.

- How am l gonna explain this?

- Listen to me carefully.

He was in the lavatory.

The captain made

his announcement.

We knocked on the door.

He didn't respond, so we were

forced to open the door.

He collapsed on his own,

possibly a drug overdose.

- With a raging hard-on?

- Try to see

if you can bring it down.

- What?

How?

Maggie.

Sh*t.

Oh.

Down, boy.

Down.

What a waste.

- ls anybody out there?

Can anybody hear us?

We're trapped in the elevator!

Anyone!

Can anyone hear us?

- Someone turned it off.

Maybe the fire department's

finally here.

- Obviously you haven't been

watching the news today.

- l don't watch much TV.

- Well, you couldn't have missed

it in the papers then.

- Listen, lady.

Don't take that tone with me.

- Don't call me lady.

- What's your name?

- None of your business.

- What is your problem?

- My problem is

that we are on day three

of a massive heat wave

with forest fires everywhere

and l really don't think they're

gonna be able to spare anyone

to help a couple of idiots

who are trapped in an elevator.

And if you had read the paper,

you would know that.

- Wow, fit all that

in the paper, huh?

- Well, you got to read

between the lines.

Can anyone hear me?

- Will you stop

just for five minutes.

Please.

- Well, what do you suggest?

Just wait here and die

of smoke inhalation?

We have been here for an hour.

There is no smoke

and no fire.

We are trapped in the elevator,

plain and simple.

- You don't know that.

The first five floors

of this building

could be on fire.

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