Wonderwoman 1984

---

(grand orchestral fanfare

playing)

(organ playing George Michael's

"Heal the Pain")

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Let me tell you a secret ♪

♪ Put it in your heart

and keep it ♪

♪ Something that

I want you to know ♪

♪ Do something for me ♪

♪ Listen to my simple story ♪

♪ And maybe we'll have

something to show ♪

♪ You tell me you're cold

on the inside ♪

♪ How can the outside world ♪

♪ Be a place that your heart

can embrace? ♪

♪ Be good to yourself

'cause nobody else ♪

♪ Has the power

to make you happy ♪

♪ How can I help you? ♪

♪ Please let me try to ♪

♪ I can heal the pain ♪

-♪ That you're feeling inside ♪

-(clicking teeth)

♪ Whenever you want me ♪

♪ Know that I will be

waiting for the day ♪

♪ That you say you'll be mine ♪

♪ Do do do ♪

♪ Do do do do ♪

♪ Do do do do,

do do do do do... ♪

♪ Do do do do, do do do do ♪

(humming)

You look like you need another.

What are you, psychic?

Look deep into my eyes.

(chuckles)

Yeah.

You're feeling very thirsty.

Oh, you are very good.

-And... -("Heal the Pain"

by George Michael playing)

Oh, yeah,

this is your favorite song.

That was so psychic.

No, that was you playing it

four times in a row.

Well, love me,

love George Michael.

We're kindred spirits.

-How so?

-Well, we're both singers.

Uh, we're both

famously misunderstood

and underappreciated

in our time.

But all that's gonna change,

'cause tomorrow I've got a

big audition for the West End.

And you, uh,

came into town for it?

No, I, uh, moved out

on my flatmate today.

So, what,

you're gonna move back home?

-Oh, kill me now.

-Uh-oh. Family issues.

Yeah. Let me count the ways.

Um, anger, shame, resentment,

embarrassment--

and that's just my mum.

Do you want to hear

about my sister?

-No. Okay.

-(laughing)

So, what's your plan?

I'll figure it out, you know.

It'll be fine.

Something will turn up.

Or someone.

Morning, gorgeous.

This bed, it's like sleeping

on a pile of kittens.

If that thought's comfortable

-and not completely horrifying.

-(chuckles)

I'm gonna dash down the street.

I need some gingerroot,

fresh beets

for my famous

breakfast power juice.

-Cool.

-And...

-a cappuccino while you wait.

-Wow.

And lashings of hot water

if you fancy a shower.

-Bliss.

-I'll be right back.

(sighs, chuckles)

-(door opens)

-WOMAN:
Surprise!

Guess who got back from

the conference a day early.

God, I've missed you.

(both scream)

God, who are you?!

I'm the... plumber.

-The plumber?

-Look... (stammers)

This isn't what it looks like.

I just...

I just... I needed a bed

for the night, and he...

-Ed. -Ed. Ed was just

so understanding.

And I-I just... I just... I've

got lots of issues, all right?

Accommodation, firstly, 'cause

I've sort of run out of options

because I've really messed up

for a number of reasons.

-And he...

-Ed.

- 他...-Ed。

Ed just seemed to get that.

Did you shag him?

("Last Christmas"

by Wham! playing)

(“ Last Christmas” by Wham!)

(grunts, shouts)

Look, you took my bag!

(stammers, grunts)

Ow!

(scoffs)

Why is my life so sh*t?!

♪ Last Christmas ♪

♪ I gave you my heart ♪

♪ But the very next day ♪

♪ You gave it away ♪

♪ This year,

to save me from tears ♪

♪ I'll give it

to someone special ♪

♪ Last Christmas,

I gave you my heart ♪

♪ But the very next day,

you gave it away ♪

-(groans)

-♪ You gave it away ♪

♪ This year,

to save me from tears ♪

♪ I'll give it

to someone special ♪

♪ Special ♪

(kazoo buzzing)

♪ Once bitten... ♪

It's not funny, Klaus.

It's incredible

how unfunny it is.

♪ But you still catch my eye ♪

♪ Tell me, baby ♪

♪ Do you recognize me? ♪

-(bell jingles)

-♪ Well, it's been a year ♪

♪ It doesn't surprise me ♪

♪ Merry Christmas ♪

♪ I wrapped it up

and sent it with... ♪

-(bell jingles)

-(sighs)

(power whirring)

("Last Christmas"

by Little Voices playing)

(sighs):

Christ.

CHILDREN'S CHOIR:

♪ Last Christmas... ♪

(groans)

I'm sorry, George.

(sighs)

(whispers):

Happy. Happy.

Happy. Happy.

♪ This year,

to save me from tears ♪

♪ I'll give it

to someone special... ♪

Hey, you're early.

You are never early.

What are you up to?

Accommodation issues.

Hmm. So the usual.

What did you do this time?

-Fry someone's fish?

-No, no, that was last week.

-(blow dryer whirring) -♪ Hey,

you're just too funky for me ♪

-(electrical crackling)

-♪ I gotta get inside... ♪

(music stops)

You are going to run out

of friends with sofas.

You have been sick.

You need to take care

of yourself better.

-Santa, I didn't know

you cared. -I don't care.

I just don't want you to drop

dead in front of the customers.

I don't have enough tinsel

to cover your corpse.

Get to work, elf.

(groans quietly)

I don't know.

You're gonna have to

help me decide.

-They're both so darling.

-I tell you what.

Let's pretend Mary had twins,

and you can get both.

(both laugh)

You must just love your job.

-Love it.

-It's like being in a dream.

All the joys and the love

of Christmas

-every single day of the year.

-(chuckles)

Now, which baby

is it going to be?

He's gorgeous, but this one...

he looks like he's having

a lot of fun.

-Oh, yeah, and a lot more

to come. -(both laugh)

-But this one, look at him.

-Come on. Hey.

-He's more like my idea of...

-Jesus Christ.

-You think so, too?

-Katarina.

Um, excuse me

for just one moment. Santa!

I need a word.

I'm at work.

You could've called me.

You're not answering

your phone.

Remember?

Look, I've come from work.

I need to get back,

so come get out here.

That's my analyst.

So sorry.

Santa, can you get

down here, please?

Please? Thank you.

Santa?

Are you there?

Mum needs you to ring her.

All right, every time

she contacts you

and gets no response,

she contacts me.

Yesterday, 17 times.

-Just do it. -Oh, don't just

stand there issuing commands.

I am an adult.

You are the furthest thing

from an adult that I know.

I need time to myself.

I'm asking you to do

a single thing, Katarina.

It's "Kate."

Whatever. Just ring her.

Contact her.

Give me one good reason.

You've missed five

doctor's appointments.

You've got one planned

for tomorrow, which apparently

you know about.

You have to be there.

She's also planning a dinner

to celebrate my promotion.

And you not ringing her

is seriously affecting my life.

Will you be inviting Alba

to the dinner?

Just ring your mother.

Christ.

(sighs)

Yeah, Jenna, it's me.

Listen, darling,

I'm sorry

to leave this message.

I just really need

a bed for the night.

Even possibly a few nights.

-You're my bestie. Please.

I know. -(grunts)

-Just...

-Hey, elf!

This is my elf.

Santa has elves, you know.

Little helpers.

I have nicknamed her

"Lazy the Elf"

because she appears

never to work.

-That's me. Mm.

-She could also be called

-"Crushing Disappointment

the Elf." -(laughter)

-I-I'm just... (clears throat)

-"Waste of Payroll the Elf,"

"Bleeding Me Dry the Elf,"

"Why on Earth Is She

Even Here the Elf."

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