Wreck-It Ralph Page #10

FELIX (CONT’D)

Huh?

The tree disappears. They fall into a pit of chocolate

powder.

CALHOUN:

What is this?

A sign reads:
NESQUIK SAND.

CALHOUN (CONT’D)

Nesquik Sand?

They start sinking. Felix panics.

WRECK-IT RALPH

FELIX:

Quik sand?! I’ll hop out and grab

you one of those vines!

Calhoun stands calm, sizing up the situation. Felix flails as

he tries to hop out of the sand. But his usual “boing” is

more like a “bllllrgh” as the sand swallows him.

FELIX (CONT’D)

I can’t hop. I’m hopless! This is

hopeless! We’re gonna drown here!

CALHOUN:

Stop thrashing! Stop moving--

you’re making us sink faster!

He’s still panicking. Calhoun slaps him in the face.

CALHOUN (CONT’D)

Get a hold of yourself.

He looks at her, shocked. Suddenly they hear GIGGLING. They

look up to see Laffy Taffy vines hanging from a tree. As the

vines giggle, they stretch and lower towards them.

FELIX:

Those vines. They’re Laffy Taffy.

They’re attracted to whatever makes

them laugh. Here, hit me again.

She smacks him, lightly. The taffy vines retreat,

disappointed.

FELIX (CONT’D)

That’s not funny enough. Harder.

She hesitates.

CALHOUN:

Look, you’re a nice guy, I can’t-

FELIX:

(unusually forceful)

No, ma’am! The arcade is depending

on us. Now do your duty, that’s an

order!

She full on belts him. The taffy howls with laughter. He’s

got a huge back eye.

FELIX (CONT’D)

Owwww! It’s working, hit me again!

WRECK-IT RALPH

CALHOUN:

Ooh, your eye.

FELIX:

I can fix it.

He hits his eye with the hammer. His black eye goes away.

FELIX (CONT’D)

Now go-- ow! San Frantastic.

WHAP! The vines howl. Felix smiles at her. He’s got teeth

missing. He hammers his teeth. BLING! His teeth reappear.

FELIX (CONT’D)

Again! Ow! You mean business! Ow!

Yikes on bikes!

She hits. BLING. He fixes his face. She hits. BLING. He fixes

his face. She hits. Bling. He fixes.

FELIX (CONT’D)

We’re... killing... them...

Finally, the vines are within reach. He grabs hold, then

pulls her into his arms.

FELIX (CONT’D)

Hold on tight, m’lady.

The vine sweeps them up and out of the quicksand. The world

slows down. Music swells. Calhoun looks up at Felix. For some

reason he looks strong-jawed and heroic. He smiles down on

her. Man, she’s beautiful. There’s a real chemistry between

them. They arrive on the tree branch.

Calhoun notices that the Laffy Taffy are singing in a Disneyesque

choir and have formed a heart shape around them. She

pulls out her gun and shoots at the vines.

CALHOUN:

Alright, enough with the goo-goo

eyes.

She looks at the sensor, all business.

CALHOUN (CONT’D)

(climbing out of the tree)

Argh, we lost the cy-bug. Let’s go.

Come on, we’ll get a better view

from the air. Think you can fix

that shuttle?

WRECK-IT RALPH

FELIX:

Can do.

He follows back her towards the shuttle.

Down below the tree, unbeknownst to them, something has

burrowed into the ground. We recognize the sounds of a cy-bug

coming from the hole it made.

We see a Cy Bug emerge from the hole. It eats a candy cane

and becomes striped.

CUT TO:

EXT. GO-KART BAKERY

An impressive facility shaped like a giant cake. Birthday

candle chimneys line the top. Ralph and Vanellope sneak past

a guard’s booth with BEARD PAPA snoozing inside of it.

EXT. BAKERY WALL — MOMENTS LATER

They slink up to a giant door with a hefty dead-bolt on it.

Vanellope’s face is painted huge on the door with a circle-

slash through it and the words: “No Glitches Allowed!”

VANELLOPE:

Alright, do your thing, knuckles.

Bust it open.

RALPH:

What’s this? You are a full on

criminal, aren’t you?

VANELLOPE:

Hey, we shook on it.

SLAM CUT TO:

INT. KART BAKERY

Ralph’s fist busts through the door, destroying it.

VANELLOPE:

Thank you, Jeeves.

Vanellope runs in. It’s dark. There’s nothing but a start

button.

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH:

What is this place? Where are the

karts?

She hits the START BUTTON. A screen lights up. It reads:

CHOOSE YOUR KART. There are a bunch of cool candy karts to

choose from.

VANELLOPE:

We gotta make one.

RALPH:

What? No, no no. Look, kid, bad

idea, trust me. I don’t make

things, I break things.

VANELLOPE:

Looks like you’ll be stepping

outside your comfort zone then,

Gladys.

(seeing a kart she likes)

Ooh, this is a good one.

She presses the “choose” button. Suddenly the entire place

lights up. There are levers and pulleys and bins.

GAME VOICE:

Welcome to the BAKERY. Let’s bake a

kart.

RALPH:

What is this, another game?

VANELLOPE:

Yeah, well, it’s a mini game.

VOICE:

You have one minute to win it.

RALPH:

What?

VANELLOPE:

Come on, Ralph!

VOICE:

Go!

Oversized numbers fly through air from the background to the

foreground.

Vanellope runs over to giant steering wheel. Before her: two

shoots, a balancing platform, a bowl, and a trash can.

WRECK-IT RALPH

VOICE (CONT’D)

MIXING!

The word “MIXING” flies through the air and knocks Ralph on

the head.

VOICE (CONT’D)

Put the ingredients in the bowl and

throw away the trash.

Vanellope hangs on the wheel to steer it. Egg come out of the

shoot and onto the platform. She steers the wheel. The

platform tilts to drop the eggs in the batter bowl.

Other objects come out of the shoots like boots, soccer

balls, underpants, and hairbrushes.

A recipe card keeps score. Vanellope’s having trouble with

the steering and is missing the ingredients.

RALPH:

Hair brush, no. Underpants. No, no!

(frustrated)

You’re getting it all wrong, kid!

VANELLOPE:

I’m trying!

The clock reads:
45 seconds.

RALPH:

Urgh. I’ll do it.

He jumps up on the platform, catches all the ingredients,

throws the good ones into the bowl and the bad ones all over

the floor.

RALPH (CONT’D)

No... yes... gross.. Milk, yes,

yes!

The flour hits him. He falls into the batter. The beaters

comes down and mix the batter, Ralph and all.

VOICE:

Batter up!

The batter and Ralph dump into a mold. Ralph crawls out of

the batter just before it goes into the oven.

VANELLOPE:

Come on, no sleeping on the job.

WRECK-IT RALPH

VOICE:

Baking!

Ralph gets up, stumbles around, dizzy. The word “BAKING”

flies through the air and clocks him. UMPH.

VOICE (CONT’D)

Pump up the heat and hold the

perfect temperature.

Vanellope runs over and jumps on the bellows. She can’t get

it hot enough.

VANELLOPE:

Ralph! A little help here.

RALPH:

I’m on it!

Ralph jumps on it. He completely breaks the bellows.

VANELLOPE:

Ralph!

RALPH:

Yeah, no problem, just give me this

thing here-

Ralph grabs the hose and blows into it himself. The mercury

rises.

VANELLOPE:

Okay, good! A little more. That’s

it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

His cheeks are bulging. He turns red...then purple...then

blue.

DING! Vanellope cheers. Ralph collapses.

VANELLOPE (CONT’D)

Yes! Come on, get up, Ralph!

Fifteen seconds!

The door opens. The kart slides onto a conveyor belt.

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