Wrong Turn 2: Dead End Page #3

then it's less likely

anybody will give us their radiation card.

I haven't seen anything to eat.

Ow! Holy sh*t!

It's one of those Twist of Fates.

I set it off.

Where is it?

"You've been infected by anthrax

from a nearby laboratory explosion.

An antidote can be found by the river.

You have two minutes. "

God, I would get this.

Yeah, well, good luck. Go.

Hey, come and shoot.

We need your footage.

- I think I see the river!

- Where?

- What do you need now?

- That!

One minute remaining.

Forty-five seconds remaining.

Thirty seconds remaining.

Eight, seven...

Six, five...

four, three, two-

Got it.

Yes!

- I can't believe I did it.

- You kicked ass!

Awesome.

All right, guys. One sec.

Okay. Keep it loose.

- You ready?

- Go.

Whew. It is hot out here.

You know what?

I think we can fish later.

We are rolling.

I think I need to, uh, cool off.

So...

do you want to get, uh, wet?

- What are you doing?

- M! What the f***?

I am standing here giving it my all,

and this jock is just... standing there!

- Cut!

- Hey, what's goin' on, man?

Look, man, I- I want to create chemistry

between you two.

Okay? You guys are, like,

the sex of this thing.

Mm-hmm. You said you wanted

a family reality show.

Well, sex is America's

dirty little secret.

Huh? You can't talk about it at church,

but at home, on TV...

people wanna see hard bodies

wet and glistening in the sun.

If I do that, I have a mother and six

nieces that will never speak to me again.

Look, man,

people wanna be entertained.

Elena and I are just

greasing the wheels a little.

- Greasin'the wheels.

- Yeah.

Well, look, man, I'm here

to play the game, okay?

Now you can go grease the wheels.

You can try catching some fish.

I'll see if I can find

somethin' to eat in the woods.

"Grease the wheels. " You two. What-

I'll catch y'all later.

Catch y'all later.

Great. I wanted Diddy.

I got a Boy Scout.

M., wait.

We don't need Jake.

I'm all the sex that you want.

- You're hot, but it's not the same thing.

- Hey, where are you going?

What, are you gonna go

shoot your girlfriend?

No. Actually,

I've gotta rethink the story lines.

Hey, listen,

I'm doing this gig for, like, free...

and I want all the screen time

that I can get.

And I know how

to make sure that happens.

Really?

Oh.

Works for me.

You don't get it.

I'm, like, a complete spaz when it comes

to anything even remotely athletic.

I'm sorry I didn't help.

You're just playing the game.

I understand.

I just really need this money.

I'm not gonna give you my radiation card,

if that's what you're worried about.

I'm just thrilled that I actually get

to live another day.

Motherf***er.

Look, I know it hurts...

but you don't need

a piece of sh*t like that in your life.

You're better off without him.

- I thought he was the one. You know?

- Yeah.

I've known scumbags like this

all my life.

Six months ago, I caught my fianc

in bed with my best friend.

Really?

Top it off-

He used my credit cards

to put me into major debt.

That's why I have to win this game.

The sooner you realize

you can only depend on yourself...

the better off you'll be.

Come on.

Take a breath.

Let's go down there and kick his ass.

- Is that what you did to your fianc?

- Put him in the hospital.

Come on.

No. I'll just deal with it

in my own way.

It's what he deserves.

- It's not me.

- Come on.

No. I'm not like you.

I don't want to be.

- I'm sorry. That came out wrong.

- It's okay.

- Come on. Just tell me one

hot experience that you had.

- Oh, God.

- I can get you on Howard Stern if it's good.

- I got a buddy who works in the studio in New York.

- You're such a moron.

Yeah, but we're on the same team here.

You know, the same... team.

All right. All right, all right.

I'll stop. I'll stop.

I swear. Cross my heart.

No more sex talk.

From now on, you'll be the uptight

lesbian sister I never had. Truce?

Oh. And now that we're family,

tell me-Who went down on who first?

Pendejo!

- I'm kidding. I'm just-

Is that barbecue?

Mission f***in'- accomplished.

Wait. This is too easy. Maybe this

is a trap to make us lose the game.

What trap?

It's a hunter's camp, sister.

- What are you doing?

- I'm starved, and, damn, that smells awesome.

If this is a real hunter's camp,

we can't just steal his food.

Why the hell not? It's a "survival of the

fittest" kind of thing. Finders, keepers.

You're a lesbian.

Where are your cojones?

If we bring this back to share with the

others, nobody's gonna want us out of the game.

- Ow!

- What, it's hot?

- Finally, we're a team.

- Don't push your luck.

Mmm! Pork.

Man, these hillbillies

really know their barbecue.

- So what are you gonna do?

- I'm getting outta here.

I'll call the techies

to drive me back to Wheeling.

You're headed the wrong way.

R.V. And cell phones are back that way.

I can't get a signal from the R.V.

- I'm just gonna call them from there.

- Okay.

Besides, I really don't want

to run into Michael at the trailer.

You're kidding.

No, you're crazy.

- Okay.

- Hello?

Hello?

Uh, you can't just walk

into somebody's house.

Hello?

I need to use your phone, please.

We shouldn't be here.

Then just wait for me outside.

I wanna make one phone call,

and I'm gone.

Hello?

Ew.

Oh.

All right. No phone, so-

Uh, we done yet?

Holy sh*t.

The whole family's deformed.

God. Look at the twins.

You'll be all right. Just don't worry.

Hold on. Don't drop her.

Get her over on the table.

There! Yeah! Yeah!

Baby's comin'now.

You stay here with Ma.

I'll go and fetch some water.

The toolbox!

Go! Go!

- It's locked!

- What do we do now?

Help me!

There's light! There's light!

Push!

Uh!

Ma!

Help me.

Help me.

F***.

- Hey. You good?

- I'm good.

Can we, uh, keep this as our secret?

I wouldn't wanna

mess things up with Mara.

- You know, I think she's the one.

- Whatever.

I'm headin' back to the R.V. You comin'?

No. Myjob's done.

Just gonna stay here and tan.

Tell Mara I say hi.

You're the star.

M? Is that you?

Don't screw around.

It's not cool.

Aw, sh*t.

Okay. What's the challenge?

F***!

No!

Mara.

Mara.

Hey, Neil. I'm back, yo.

What, you droppin' a deuce?

Seriously, Neil, light a match.

Neil.

Guess you're not here.

All right.

Let's see what we can see.

Run. No. Run.

What?

Aw, f***.

Let's see.

Well, this-All right. This works.

Well, what's the ma- Neil.

I can't fig-This seems fine.

Great. You know, you spend money

on film school just to-

It looks fine.

Input, output. Yeah, that works.

Well, looks good. What is that? Nina?

Damn it! Neil, can't move!

We're hardwired in!

What the-

- This is cool.

- It's good.

- Going for another one, huh?

- Mmm.

The only white meat. If this is what

Armageddon's like, bring it on, baby.

Yeah, maybe next time

you should search for a bib.

I'm so glad I ran into you guys.

Yeah, and don't forget

who got you the nosh, dude.

You win the chance to get rid of that

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