Wyvern Page #3

---

- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- What in the hell is that?

- Susie, what are you doing?

- Well, you said to bring it

to you, Chief.

- Have you lost your mind

as well, Susie?

Get this out of here and

into the cooler at the station.

(all speaking at once)

Okay, okay, calm down.

Okay, you know the drill.

Kids, pets, livestock -

lock 'em away.

Everybody stay indoors.

And I don't wanna see

anybody running into the woods

in a half-baked goose chase,

or I'll lock them up too.

Got it, Farley?

- What?!

- Now, I put a call in

to Hunting and Fishing.

They're gonna send

some of their boys down.

- Okay.

- What about the festival?

- Chief,

if you cancel the one thing

that keeps this town sane,

the one thing that reminds us

that the sun

is finally gonna set

in a few days...

- Look, this is the only thing

we got going this time of year.

Besides,

Doc would want us to have it.

- Chief, you can't cancel.

- I'm not cancelling anything.

Yet.

- I think maybe

a postponement...

might be the best idea,

just to be safe.

- You know, I-I'm with Jake.

- Look, can't postpone.

Solstice is gonna

be over tonight.

- All right, well,

I think you're making a mistake.

I just want that...

to be known.

But I'm here to help out

however needed.

- I appreciate it.

- Chief, come back.

- Go, Susie.

- Just got a call

from Thomas,

yelling something

about his minks?

Sounded upset.

Then his phone went out.

- Copy that, Susie.

I'll head out there.

Thanks, Claire.

- Yeah. You be safe, Chief.

Okay?

(dramatic sound effect)

- Ah!

Holy moly!

Didn't I warn

those tin-plated desk jockeys?

Now we got ourselves

a full-blown invasion.

(tires squealing)

- Hour 15

of my round-the-clock broadcast.

And if you haven't heard

the news,

Doc is missing.

And if you hear this, Doc,

this one goes out to you.

- Doc ain't missing, you nit!

He was breakfast

and we're gonna all be lunch!

(accelerating)

(dramatic music)

(distant snarling)

Send in the troops.

(slow western music)

(horn honking)

- Colonel's been having beer

with his cereal again.

- It's an invasion.

Call out the Guard.

- What?

- Reptilian aliens!

One of 'em buzzed my vehicle.

- Reptilian aliens.

You need to go home

and get some sleep,

or you're gonna be tweaked

as Hass.

- Hass! What happened to Hass?

- What, you don't know?

- Listen, missy,

get the chief on the blower.

I seen the damn thing

that killed Doc.

- I can't call anyone

until you fill out

an incident report.

- Incident report?!

You gonna be fillin' out

death reports

on the whole damn county

if you don't get the chief!

Oh...!

- Hey!

- Watch it.

- Chief, come back.

Chief...

- Thomas?

Thomas.

Ugh!

(gasping)

(dramatic sound effect)

- Hey, Colonel, how's it going?

Wanna make a dedication

to Doc?

- I need to make

an emergency broadcast.

- Why?

- It's Roswell, Hampton.

All over again, girl.

And they look like reptilians.

A huge mother of 'em

flew right over my vehicle!

- Uh-huh.

You sleeping all right?

- Hell, I'm as awake

as a steer with a prod

up his rear!

Now listen to me.

People need to know.

- If you're hankering

for a thick, juicy steak,

or some pork butt,

head on down to--

- Get the damn cotton

out of your ears, girl!

- I answer to the highest

authority in the land.

Only state officials

can authorize

an emergency broadcast.

- This whole town's losing it,

and I'm the sane one!

- Sorry, Trav,

there are rules and regulations.

I can't just blurt out

an emergency broadcast!

F***in' nut.

- Farley.

He'll believe it.

Farley, they've landed.

- What's that? Aliens?

- Flying reptilians, like.

Seen it twice.

- You sure

it's not the same rogue critter

that got Doc Yates?

That's why I'm packin'.

Yeah.

You betcha.

- Whew...

Lambs to the slaughter.

I'm on my own.

Just like in 'Nam.

- So, um,

what'd the colonel tell you?

- That he saw

flying space reptilians.

- It's the same thing

he told me.

Looks good.

- Got any pull with the judges?

- Just you and me, bro.

(thunderous sound)

(thunderous sound)

(flapping)

Emergency broadcast!

This is an emergency broadcast!

We need help. Emer...

(power fading)

(groaning softly)

- Oh, no.

No.

Barnes!

What's your 20?

Barnes! Do you read?

(snoring)

Barnes!

Barnes! Come back!

(snoring)

Wake up, Barnes!

- Barnes here. Sorry, Chief.

At the Solstice Festival.

It's all clear here, sir.

Gearing up and it smells great.

- Shut it down!

- Say again.

- There are multiple victims.

Call in the state troopers!

Shut it down on my authority!

Get the whole damn town

out of the area!

- Roger.

- Seriously, like, whee...

- Attention, please.

The festival is closed.

We have a situation.

The festival is closing down.

- You outta your mind?

- Sheriff's orders.

Pack it up.

(mutterings)

Don't panic.

It's... it's just a precaution.

Please, stay calm.

- Oh, my God.

- What are you guys looking at?

(screaming)

- Oh, my God!

(all screaming)

- The festival.

(snarling)

- Oh! Get back!

Edna, get down!

(roaring)

- Oh, that smell.

My God, what is it?

(snarling)

(growling)

- Help!

- You okay?

- Yes.

- Hey! Anyone!

(screaming)

- Okay, is everyone okay?

Anyone hurt?

- Hurt?

There's dead people out there!

- I know that, Farley!

I'm talking about in here!

Is everybody okay? You okay?

- I'm fine.

But what the hell was that?!

- I have no idea.

- Is it...

It looked like a dragon.

Right?

- I know. It makes no sense.

- Like a dragon!

- I know. It's insane.

Where... where's the phone?

- The phones are dead.

That damn thing

tore out a bunch of poles,

ripped out a bunch of wires,

took everything off the roof

of my studio. See that thing?!

- Thing's a beast.

Right out of Revelations.

We're all doomed.

- Calm down, Edna, okay?

Listen, are you sure

all the lines are down?

- Yeah, my power too.

- I'm telling you,

it's Revelations.

- What are you talking about?

- The Good Book.

"And the great dragon

was cast out,

"that old serpent

called the devil.

"And Satan, which deceiveth

the whole world, was cast out

into the earth and his angels

were cast out with him."

Revelations,

chapter 12, verse 9?

It is the end of days!

I'm telling you,

we brought down

the wrath of God.

- That's the Good Book, huh?

- You got a better explanation?

You said it was a cockatoad.

- I was in shock.

I wasn't thinking clear.

- Got anything better now?

- It was...

It was a wyvern.

- That's ridiculous.

- H-hold on a second.

Let him speak.

What are you saying, Hass?

- The Nordic people

call it the wyvern.

It was a dragon so fierce,

so nasty,

that it was rumoured

that it was birthed

by Hel herself.

That's "Hel" with one L,

the goddess

of the Norse underground.

Its sole purpose was to eat

the corpses of evildoers.

Well, it got bored with that

and started feasting on men,

children, women...

- What does this have to do

with the price of wheat

in Alaska?

- Everything, Farley!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes