Yankee Doodle Dandy Page #5

take other offers in the meantime.

Well, I hate to see the act split up,

but if you think so.

Oh, sure. Play all that stuff

around Chicago for Sullivan.

- The money's good. The jumps are short.

- Good idea. You get tired resting too long.

But it won't be the same going back

on the road without you, Georgie.

We'll be like a carriage

with only three wheels.

But you will admit I was a bumpy wheel.

You'll roll along easier without me.

- No, Georgie, no.

- You will.

If there's a part for a bicycle rider, I

used to be known as "venus on Wheels."

I always knew you weren't a cook.

- How's everything going, George?

- Not so good. Not so good.

I've been pounding the pavement

so long my socks have bunions.

- Mac, would you put a head on that?

- You bet I will.

The villain turns and says:

"I'll tell who you are unless

you help me hold up this train."

Think fast. It's due in 10 minutes.

You'll have the audience standing.

I know, I know. The hero helps him.

Gets shot in the leg.

- And the girl nurses him back to health.

- No. He gets shot in the arm, not the leg.

- Do you know what happens?

- I won't be in the theater to find out.

I will be on the street watching

a musical comedy.

Before I put $ 10,000 into a show...

...it must have songs, dances,

and a lot of girls.

Women, women. Little rose petals.

The big scene is where the hero saves

the girl from a burning forest fire.

It won't be terribly expensive.

I know where I can get a cheap fire.

You don't need much of a fire.

Just enough to burn that manuscript.

- I've been looking all over town for you.

- What?

We gotta go to Dietz & Goff

and sign papers.

- Papers?

- What papers?

- What papers?

- I see. You don't want to talk about it.

- You haven't discussed our musical?

- Musical?

- Remember what we promised.

- I haven't said a word.

Good. Dietz said it was the best musical

he's read. Even allowed Goff to agree.

When I told him about those 20 ponies

and 20 showgirls all coming...

- Ponies and showgirls?

- Just a minute...

...would you tell me what

you're talking about?

- You got the check?

- Yes.

- That's mine.

- No, no, no. We won't argue about it.

- Glad to have met you.

- That's minor.

- Come on. We can't keep Dietz waiting.

- You are a fine guy.

You have girls up your sleeve, you have

ponies and showgirls and you don't tell me?

- What's it about?

- We gave our word to Dietz.

We haven't got time.

It's about Todd Sloan.

- The famous jockey.

- Yeah. Come on.

Jockey sounds swell.

Just my luck to miss out on it.

Well, good luck, boys.

You forgot your manuscript. Say, before

we sign up with Dietz & Goff...

...I made some change in

the lyric of "Yankee Doodle."

- "Yankee Doodle"?

- You shouldn't have. It was perfect.

You'll like this.

It gives the number added value.

- May I listen a little?

- Think we should?

- Well, I don't know.

- Lf you promise to be quiet.

- I promise.

- All right. Come on.

- There's a piano in the private room.

- "Yankee Doodle." "Yankee Doodle."

- Yankee Doodle Candy.

- Dandy. "Yankee Doodle Dandy."

Yankee Doodle Candy.

Thank you. Yankee Doodle Candy.

I have heard enough.

I will never forgive you for trying

to pawn a forest fire on me...

...when you had that musical.

- Yes, but we gave our word to Dietz.

I can't understand it. Why is Dietz's wife's

money better than my wife's money?

Why?

Must you give it to Dietz & Goff?

Must you give it?

Well, I don't know. I like Dietz,

but I'm not too fond of Goff.

I'm crazy about Goff but

haven't got any use for Dietz.

Gentlemen, you are in perfect agreement.

- I will give you a check to bind the deal.

- Here.

- Thank you. What's your partner's name?

- I don't know.

What's my partner's name?

Well, don't toy with the kid at a time

like this. Tell him. George M. Cohan.

George M. Cohan. C-o-H-A-N.

- And what is my junior partner's name?

- Sam H. Harris. Shake.

- Hello. What should I write?

- Cohan and Harris.

Cohan and Harris.

That's it, ladies and gentlemen,

it's all over.

Yankee Doodle let them down.

So they'll either pasture him in clover or

have him hauling rubbish in London town.

Women, women. Little rose petals.

It's wonderful. You got them

eating from your hand.

- My congratulations.

- Thanks.

- As long as those critics don't eat my leg.

- Don't worry.

You have a smash hit. It's in the air.

You can't stop anything that's in the air.

All right. On the boat.

Remember, Jones, watch for the

skyrocket. If it goes off, you'll know...

...that I've obtained papers that'll prove

you innocent of throwing the Derby.

It'll mean complete vindication. So stick

on the pier and watch for the skyrocket.

Thanks, pal. I'll be watching.

Goodbye, Johnny. And don't worry,

we still believe in you.

- Thanks, kid. That'll help a lot. Bye-bye.

- Goodbye.

That was your department!

Is it the robin that heralds the first

breath of spring?

How can you think of robins in the

spring when we're freezing in Illinois?

Hey, Jerry. Did you see the way

they're billing you in Waukegan?

- Come here. Look at that. Funny, isn't it?

- "Jerry, Nellie and Josie Cohan...

...family of George M. Cohan,

the Broadway sensation."

- Hey, the kid's doing all right.

- Look at that.

Well, that's true. He is

the biggest thing on Broadway.

I know, but it ain't right.

We can build our own reputation.

- We'll be billed as The Three Cohans.

- All right. No need to get excited.

Don't think I'm jealous of Georgie's

success. Even though I am a better actor.

Of course you're not jealous.

Everybody knows that.

There'll be no stopping George. All he

needs is experience and he'll be a genius.

He mustn't know I'm a better actor.

It might interfere.

Still, it does look a little funny,

George being the toast of Broadway...

...and you folks gathering crumbs

in the tank towns.

- Is either of you fellows Jerry Cohan?

- I am.

It's from George.

"Lmpossible to find three clever actors

named Cohan for my new show...

...anywhere in New York.

- Return immediately for rehearsals."

- What'd I tell you?

The four of us back together

again. And on Broadway!

Even in the kitchen

you sound like a Tetrazzini.

In Buffalo they say I have a nice little voice.

A lot they know in Buffalo.

In Buffalo they thought I was an old man.

- Well, how do you like your part so far?

- Oh, I like it.

It's small.

I'd be afraid to try anything bigger.

You got something on the leading lady,

the best song in the show.

Here it is. It's finished.

- Come on.

- Well, what about the lyrics?

I'm gonna give it to you now.

Sit down and give me a pickup.

Yeah.

Gee, I never cared much

for my name before.

It's kind of common.

Gee, there are millions of Marys around.

I didn't write it for the millions of Marys.

I wrote it for one particular,

very special Mary.

It's a wonderful feeling

having your name written in music.

- Not bad music either, huh?

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