Yes Man Page #6

What can we do?

- What's going on?

He says someone wants to commit suicide.

I mean, someone's trying to kill themselves.

A jumper.

What the hell are you looking at?

Don't point at me buddy.

Lady, move that dog.

Buddy, can you move over a little bit?

Like two feet.

Did somebody call the police?

- Yes, but he'll be dead before they get here.

Somebody needs to talk him down.

- Move out the way!

Help him!

Hey buddy.

Who are you man?

Don't try anything. I'm going to kill myself,

so don't try to stop me.

Okay.

- What do you mean 'Okay'?

No. I don't mean, 'Okay'.

Just give me a second.

I should say something here.

But I don't really know what it is.

- Man you're terrible. Are you even cop?

Hold on a second, I'm thinking.

Wait, I've got it.

Where you going, man?

My man? Hello?

- Don't do it, I'm coming.

Patience is a virtue.

What the hell are you doing in there?

# I wish you would step

back from that ledge my friend #

# You could cut ties with

all the lies that youve been living in #

# And if you do not want to see me again #

# I would understand #

# I would understand #

What is it?

# The angry boy a bit too insane #

# Icing over a secret pain #

# You know you dont belong #

# Well everyone I know has got a reason #

# To say put the past away #

# I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend #

# You could cut ties with

all the lies that youve been living in #

# And if you never want to see me again #

# I would understand #

# I would understand #

# I would understand #

# I would understand #

# I would underst... #

I've got blisters on my fingers.

Carl.

Stephanie. Ted.

Hey. How's it going?

What are you guys doing here?

- We're doing a week in Tahiti.

Ted's father owns a little piece of property.

A hundred acres isn't so little, hon.

Not in Tahiti, anyway.

I saw you on TV. That was amazing, Carl.

It was just a little life that needed saving.

No big deal.

So, where are you headed?

Meeting my girlfriend here.

We don't know where we're going.

Really?

- Yeah, we're just going to pick a place.

Kind of an 'eeny, meeny, miny' thing

Keeps it fresh.

I'll see you guys.

That sounds like a lot of fun.

- Can you imagine?

No.

I have some carry on, here

I'd like two tickets

on the first plane out of here, please.

We have never done this before.

The next flight available for boarding is to...

Lincoln, Nebraska.

Okay. Okay? - Okay.

Yeah, Lincoln. Here we come.

Where does someone go in Lincoln Neb?

- Well, clearly we should go there.

Telephone Museum

The earliest switchboard operators'

headsets weighed over 10 1/2 pounds.

Interesting.

- Look at this.

The first phone call ever.

- Pretty cool.

Check out the phone.

Smaller than I thought it would be.

Hold on. I'm vibrating.

Hello?

Nice shot.

What do you know about that?

- Pretty sexy.

So, what do we do just....

Pull.

I got it! I got it!

Can I do it again?

What's wrong?

Twenty bucks OK kills 'em

Hey, Pete. Mind putting that on a coaster?

What, do you live here now?

Yeah, I asked Carl and he had to say 'yes'.

Hey, is that Carl?

- Wait a second.

He's there in Nebraska.

- Wow!

This is the interesting part,

because if you don't take the heads off properly,

then everything gets mixed into the batch

Someone gets a beak in their bucket

or a mouthfull of tendons.

and you've got a lawsuit on your hands.

We got a fainter down in head removal.

I can't believe I tripped like that.

Huh, it seemed like you fainted.

- No, I told you my foot caught a nail.

Oh, okay.

I thought it was all the chicken beaks in the bucket.

- Don't. Please.

Oh God, it starting to rain.

I'll protect you. Come on.

Hurry. There's no time to lose.

We have to find shelter.

Come on.

Get in here.

It's okay. I got you..

Are you okay?

Are you hurt?

What?

I do not know.

I think I love you.

Really?

I known that I like you for a while,

but now I have decided

that I love you.

Do you love me?

- Definitely.

I love you like

I can't believe it.

It's kind of ridiculous.

I've been thinking and I know

it's crazy, especially for me,

but maybe when we get back

we should move in together.

Wow? Really, you think of that?

What do you think?

- What do I think?

Yeah.

- Oh God, you paused.

No, I didn't pause.

- You paused.

No no no I didn't pause. It's just a big step.

- It was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have said anything

It is too soon.

- No, no, stop. Come on, what are you talking about?

Here, ask me again.

Do you wan...

- Yes!

Did I pause there? I could probably

knock a couple milliseconds off that.

Where are you traveling today?

- Los Angeles.

I'll just be one minute.

We should do this every weekend.

We could see the whole world.

I'm in.

Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm good.

Sir, you mind coming with us please?

I'm sorry?

We just want to ask you a few questions.

You are hilarious.

Aww, that's great.

Are you in on this too?

You guys really had me going there.

There is a crazy man in the terminal.

Red alert!

Good job.

- Let's go funny guy.

Do you hate your country, Mr. Allen?

What?

- Do you hate America?

No, of course not.

- Why are you plotting to attack it?

What? - I think you have the wrong guy.

- I'm sorry, was I speaking to you?

We've been tracking you Mr Allen. We know

who you are. We know what you are planning.

This is insane.

Do you think I'm a terrorist?

Why did you purchase

these plane tickets at the last minute?

It was a spontaneous vacation.

Oh right. I was just saying to Agent Tweed how

I wanted to take a fun-filled acation in Lincoln, Neb.

Are you currently a member of

Persianwifefinder.com?

Yes, but you don't underst...

- Yes? What is that?

Faranoosh. It was nothing.

I can explain.... I can explain.

Explain this jackhole.

As chief loan officer at BREA F.S.L. you

gave a man money to start a fertilizer business.

For what? Bombs?

- No.

Have you recently started taking flying lessons?

- Yes. Oh come on!

Why did you learn Korean?

Are you allying with the North Koreans?

No! What?

You were married for only six months.

Was that some sort of immigration thing?

Were you married?

- Yes, oh, that was a long time ago.

I was going to tell you.

I was going to tell her, I just didn't ...

- Start talking, Carl.

If that is your real name.

We knew another Karl we weren't

too crazy about, didn't we, Tweed?

His name was Marx.

I need to speak to my attorney.

Several months ago, my client

attended a self-empowerment seminar

that requires him to say 'Yes'

to any request that's presented

So all the activity that appears

suspicious, the flying lessons, ...

the spontaneous trip taking

it's all because he must

say 'Yes' to any opportunity.

He is really in to it.

You just say 'Yes' everything? Are you kidding me?

- It's not what it sounds like.

Oh really? How does it sound,

because I'd really love to hear it.

I'm wondering if there's a

better setting for this back and forth?

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