Yes Man Page #7

Yeah, maybe we should

speak privately. Come on inside.

Whew, pretty close.

What the hell, Carl?

Are you serious, you just say 'Yes' to everything?

Even if you don't like it?

- No, of course not.

Sometimes.

- Oh, good. What a relief

because I thought you lied all the time.

but it's just sometimes, that's really excellent.

So you didn't want to come to my show?

You didn't want to go jogging with me?

You didn't want to travel with me?

- Yes I did! That was my idea!

And when I asked if you wanted to move in together,

that took a lot for me to do that and I meant it.

and I didn't know what to expect, but I guess I

figured like an adult you were going to weigh the options.

You paused. You wanted to say no,

but you couldn't because you had to say 'Yes'.

That's not ...entirely ...true.

How do I know if anything you did was because

you wanted to or because of some goddamn program?

Allison.

Bye, Carl.

I can't believe I didn't tell her

I was married. I'm such an idiot.

You know what I did?

- What's that.

She asked me to move in with her

and I hesitated.

That was like a 'no'. I should have

just said 'Yes' right away, you know?

That's how the whole thing got screwed up.

I broke the covenant.

No, you ever think things got

screwed up because you said 'Yes'

to every single thing without thinking?

Not because of a covenant you made with yourself.

- Well, this

...covenant with the universe is kind of a big deal man

There is a new ground rule, Carl.

You can process things. You can weigh them individually

and make decisions on a case by case basis,

aka what normal people do.

Yeah, that's a good point. Hold that thought.

Allison!

Or not.

Allison! Please, can we talk for a second?

- Get away from me. -- Okay

Farther.

- Yep.

Carl?

Goodbye, Carl.

I just love good food.

- So do I.

Do you?

You know you and I are a lot alike?

Hey, it's me again

Specifically I'm talking about 15 to 20 percent....

Okay, I'm totally off the controls.

You're officially flying by yourself.

Cool

There's no greater feeling in the world, is there?

Hello Jake, Rodrigo, Penelope,

Phillip, Zachary.

I'd like to thank you all for coming for

no other reason than you genuinely wanted to.

In an unrelated note, everyone

else can go jump off a bridge.

Allison?

No, it's Wes P., Big C.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

No, I'm just hanging here.

Okay, I'm just checking in,

seeing how corporate's treating you.

It kicks the crap out of dealing with those peons, eh?

Well I never really thought of it ...

- Hang on just a second.

Wes?

Can you hear me?

- Go get the ball!

So listen . I've got a job for you.

We're shutting down a bunch of branches

and I need you to tell the managers.

Shutting down branches?

- Uh huh.

Which ones?

We are Sparta!

Hi, Norm.

You have three messages

Hi Car, this is your answer phone speaking

Nah, it's me, Norm, just a reminder

about the party tonight. See you there buddy.

Carl, it's Rooney. Thanks for letting me use your car.

You might notice the front bumper is missing

Not to worry. I gave them your insurance.

The whole thing is being handled.

Oh, and I left a pile of laundry

in my room. Don't forget, no starch.

Love you.

It's Peter. I'm sure you are aware,

and completely on top of it

but I just wanted to make sure that Lucy's

bridal shower is still on for tomorrow night.

I haven't received a confirmation

of any sort from you.

At all.

- Shower!

Sh*t!

- Allright? Call me.

Hey guys.

- What's wrong?

I just really need to talk to you.

Come on inside,

I'll explain everything.

'Surprise!'

Oh my God!.

- Happy shower!

How did you pull this off?

- I just called in a few favors,

kept throwing money at it.

I like it. I like it.

Rooney!

That's Bert. He's in fertilizer.

And Lee. He's a male nurse.

Hey, let's get this guy a drink.

He doesn't have long to live.

Cake?

- Thanks.

Oh, John Goodman.

- No, it's Alec Baldwin.

Oh, right. Nailed it.

Norm?

Hey, thanks for coming, man.

How are you holding up?

I'm okay Car.

Taking it day by day.

Welll I got a friend I want you to meet.

Soo-Mi, this is Norman.

Norman, this is Soo-Mi

Hi there.

Can I call you Soo?

Yes

Do you dance?

Well, I've won some competitions.

Watch this.

Come on.

That's an interesting one.

- Yep, and it's half price.

This is the best wedding shower ever, man.

- You deserve it.

You allright?

- Yes

Still not calling you back?

- No.

What are you going to do?

I don't know. I guess I'll just stick with the

program. Keep saying 'Yes' to everything.

I know it sounds silly, but maybe

all that bad stuff leads to something good.

That doesn't sound silly.

Well, maybe a little silly.

You wanna get dinner tomorrow night?

- Yes

Not because I have to.

Well, you do have to.

- Yeah.

But you want to?

- Oh yeah.

So badly.

- Oh God, me too.

It's all I can think about.

- Really?

Hi there.

Hello there.

You must be Tillie.

I've certainly heard a lot about you.

- Isn't that nice?.

Would you mind helping me?

- Absolutely. No problem.

Come on, let's go.

Hello

- Hi, Carl.

Oh, Stephanie. What's wrong?

Can you come over?

We had this big fight and he stormed off.

These things have a way of

working themselves out.

I don't know. Not this time.

I think it's over.

Maybe it's supposed to be?

You know?

Part of me felt like something

wasn't right from the beginning.

I don't know, Carl. I'm so confused.

I'm kind of confused at this point as well.

Stay with me tonight.

- Oh, Steph ...

Steph, I can't.

I'm sorry.

What are you saying?

I'm saying no.

Are you serious?

Oh Jesus!

Oh please.

I didn't even see the red zone.

I've only been here for twenty minutes.

- Sorry pal, can't help you.

Oh come on, can't you give me a break?

'No man' 'No man' 'No man'

Not possible!

Jackoff.

Terrence don't freak out.

Geeze, could that nurse be any more obvious?

She keeps coming in the room,

it's like 'Give me some space, woman.'

Again, I'm pretty sure

she was just here checking on Carl.

The covenant.

Hey, buddy, you alright?

The covenant.

It's coming down hard on me, man.

Gotta do something about this covenant nonsense

- It's not nonsense.

It is nonsense.

It's him.

Oh my God, Terrence.

You have to remove the covenant.

It's killing me.

- First, what were you doing in my car?

I told you. I need you to remove the covenant.

There is no covenant.

There never was.

It was just riffing.

Riffing?

Well, I had to say something.

You were being difficult.

Embarrassing me in front of my crowd.

So the whole thing 'Yes' thing is all bullshit?

No, you just don't know how to use it.

That's all.

Yeah I did. Say yes to everything.

Real tough to grasp.

No, that's not the point.

Well maybe at first it is.

That's just to open you up to get you started.

Then you are saying 'yes'

not because you have to

not because a covenant told you to

because you know in your heart

that you want to.

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