You, Me and Dupree Page #10

Synopsis: For newlyweds Carl and Molly Peterson, life can't get any sweeter as they begin anew to settle down into married life. With a nice house and established careers in tow, nothing seems to get in their way. However, Carl is about find out just how much friendship means when Dupree, his best friend has been displaced from his home and fired from his job because of attending their wedding. Taking his friend in, what Carl and Molly are about to experience is that the fine line between a few days and whatever else is after, can be a lot more than they bargained for. Especially when their friend overstays his welcome in far too many ways than he should.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Production: Universal Pictures
  2 wins & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
46
Rotten Tomatoes:
20%
PG-13
Year:
2006
110 min
$75,604,320
Website
1,333 Views


frankly, I'd blame her.

Now, wait a minute!

No, I won't hold it!

Hold on a second!

Your life is going to hell

in a hand basket!

Molly is the best damn thing

that ever happened to me.

Leave her out of this.

Sure she is.

Did you see

what just happened?

When I tricked you?

All of a sudden

you had that instinct

to fight, that Carlness.

That's what

this situation needs.

It's crying out for it.

You're trying to get it back,

that fight, the will to fight.

You're thinking.

Come on. What do you got?

Dupree, get your helmet.

Sh*t.

Paco's on duty.

Hey, can you get me

I'll get you 15.

Hold on a second.

He's a lot faster

than he looks.

Hello there.

Have a message

I need to deliver.

Do you have identification?

No.

You kidding me?

Just got the old bike here.

Pretty obvious

I'm a bike messenger.

What are you, Samoan?

What do you think?

Could be Greek.

Could be Italian.

Either way, you're a big man.

It's okay,

I specialize in big men.

Where is your message?

I keep 'em up here.

Saves on the paperwork.

All right. Have a good day.

Maybe I'll see you around.

(DUPREE WHISTLING)

Come on.

Hold it.

They said you were quick.

Easy now, big 'un.

I got to tell you,

you're catching me on a day

where I'm throwing seven

different kinds of smoke.

Yeah? Let's see them.

That's what I thought.

That's number one.

Baby wants to play chase?

Okay, let's chase.

Okay, here we go.

Here we go.

Up or down? Up or down?

Down!

(YELLING)

Gotcha.

Missed! Number two.

Mr. Peterson-Thompson?

Where is he?

(DUPREE YELLING)

PACO:
Stop! Stop!

DUPREE:
Catch up!

(GROANS)

(SCREAMING)

Guy in chair. Number three.

Did you see that? I got him.

Dispatch,

lock down the building.

That was my number four.

What's number five?

I can't tell you.

I don't know myself.

Nice job, weasel.

Now it's on!

(GRUNTING)

(WHISPERING)

Number five, invisible.

WOMAN:
What is he doing?

You can manufacture

these for $90 a square foot.

You sell them

at $400 a square foot.

You got 25 in this

whole arena right here.

I even think you can

do the advertisement,

"Fifty million

"square feet."

(GRUNTING)

Come here, weasel!

(GROANS)

Number six.

Open the door.

I need a number seven.

Oh, sh*t.

I need a number seven!

You want Samoa?

I'll give you Samoa!

(SCREAMING)

Hello. Excuse me.

Pardon me. Pardon me.

You know,

for the last 14 hours,

all I've thought about

is kicking your ass.

Don't make me look

for another candlestick, Carl.

I've taken you down once.

I could do it again.

Not today, Bob. Not today.

I'll go get Paco.

Yeah. You go get Paco.

You've done everything

you can to undermine me.

You've tried to intimidate me.

You've tried to humiliate me.

You bastardized

my project to the point

where it's unrecognizable.

But here's the thing, Bob.

I don't care.

I don't care about this job,

and I don't care about you.

I care about Molly.

She means everything

in the world to me.

And if you're going to

stand in the way of me

trying to win her back,

you'd better bring

a pretty big candlestick.

Carl?

Hey, Carl.

You... Will you all excuse us?

Can everybody go?

You know, Carl,

I've been thinking

maybe I was a little

rough on you.

A little?

But you got to understand,

you know, I love Molly, too.

And I've been having

a really, really tough time

letting go of her.

You asked me to

get a vasectomy.

Yeah, that was

a little excessive.

I apologize.

I'm not gonna

hyphenate my name, Bob.

I know.

(ROOF CREAKING)

(SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

(FIX YOU PLAYING)

Hey. There's Carl and Dupree.

Dupree found Carl.

He's on his own now.

Molly?

CARL:
Molly?

Molly.

I'm sorry.

Don't ever walk out

on me again.

Ever.

I know. I lost it.

I didn't know

what I was doing anymore.

Well, Carl, I don't always

know what I'm doing, either.

But we are in this together,

when it's good, when it's bad.

Yeah.

I mean,

so you launched yourself

across our dining room table

at your best friend

like a crazy person.

I guess I...

But, Carl,

I know who you are.

And I love who you are.

And that's why we don't

walk out on each other.

I love you, Molly.

And I promise you,

I'm not going anywhere.

(ALL CHEERING)

Yes! My work is done here.

(THREE IS A MAGIC NUMBER

PLAYING)

Oh, yeah! Yeah!

Come on! Let's go! Go!

Who wants some ice cream?

Go down there and you get it.

Go!

Yeah!

(GROANING)

Life may knock you down:

Scratch that:

I'm okay.

Life will knock you down.

Okay?

lt'll kick you in the gut

and knock you to the curb.

But you can't let it

rob you of your "ness."

Now what's "ness"?

It's your name plus "ness."

You, sir,

white-haired gentleman,

what's your name?

My name's Joe.

No! It's Joeness.

You follow me? Listen to me.

Hang on to that,

and as long as you do,

you'll always be ready.

Because when that moment

comes, and trust me,

it will come,

that's when you start throwing

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

seven different

kinds of smoke!

(EXCLAIMING)

(ALL CHEERING)

The mother ship hears you!

Paco! Kick it!

(BUST A MOVE PLAYING)

(YELLS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Lanceness.

Lance-ness.

Lance...ness.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Michael LeSieur

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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