You, Me and Dupree Page #3

No reason. Just want

to stay on top of stuff.

What do you mean "no reason"?

What happened?

No reason. I just want

to know where things are

in case there's an emergency,

which there probably

never will be.

I don't have time for this.

I'm...

I don't have time for this.

I'm at work. I got to go.

(WATER GURGLING)

You better

make some time for it

'cause we got

a little bit of a situation.

I didn't want to have to

say anything, but...

Carl?

Just stopped.

Where were we?

We were talking

about names, Carl.

How important they are.

Would you ever

consider letting

Molly keep her last name?

I mean, I know

it's a strange request

coming from a father-in-law,

but a man's name

is his legacy,

and if Molly takes yours,

then the Thompson name

dies with me.

Well, there's lots

of Thompsons around,

aren't there?

Not in a direct line, Carl.

No, no, not in a direct line.

Well, what about our kids?

Children should have

the last name of the father,

don't you think?

You're having kids?

Well, not right now,

but eventually.

You know, in certain

Asian cultures, Carl,

the husband

takes the wife's name.

Wait a minute. You just said

a man's legacy is his name.

All right.

What about a hyphen?

A hyphen?

Yeah.

I could ask Molly,

but I don't think she...

Wait a minute. You mean me.

You mean

I'm supposed to hyphenate.

Well, then you can still use

your own name, only you'll be

hyphenating it. It's win-win.

With all due respect,

not for me it isn't, sir.

All right, forget it.

You're obviously upset

about it.

You know what,

I'm sorry I even

brought it up.

Let's keep focused

on your project.

Come on! Come on! Toshi,

what are you doing?

You gave him a meatball!

BOY:
Watch the car!

DUPREE:
Throw it, throw it.

We got him.

(HORN HONKING)

Throw it, throw it!

Did he touch the plate? He...

Oh, here we go.

The game just turned. Yes!

Carl Peterson,

third team honorable mention.

All-district, 1984.

We get Carl.

BOY:
No, we get him.

Hey, what's going on?

There he is.

Hey, sweet heat.

Time to dust off

the old jockstrap.

This kid Dougie's been

killing us all afternoon.

We need your arm out there.

Let's go.

Dupree, I'd love to,

but I can't. I kind of

had a rough day.

And I better go in

and see Molly.

I like it.

Family first. Priorities.

Okay, he can't play.

We're gonna have to

do it ourselves.

Now listen, I want you to

brush him back here, okay?

What's a brushback?

It's where you throw it

really close to him.

Scare him a little bit,

but don't hit him

'cause he's bigger

than you.

But, Mr. Dupree,

I don't even play baseball.

I'm in the orchestra,

remember?

First of all, call me Dupree

'cause I'm your team-mate.

Second of all, so what

if you're in the orchestra.

So was Catfish Hunter.

Let's go. Let's go.

Here we go! Here we go!

Hey, batter, batter...

Hi! How was work?

It was fine.

Good fine? Bad fine?

Fine, fine.

You wouldn't believe

the response I'm getting

for my Career Day program.

And I saved a spot

for you on the 15th

if you're interested.

Yeah, of course.

I'll bring in some blueprints

and maybe even some models.

It'll be fun.

TOSHl:
No. Get away.

DOUGIE:
You hit me!

You hit me on purpose!

The kids'll really love it.

MAN:
No more fighting.

Thank you, that's it!

Hey! Hey! Come on now!

Break it up. That's it!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

you've reached Dupree:

If this is in regards

to employment,

please be aware that my

Class Four driver's license

has expired,

and I am no longer willing

to work with asbestos:

I won't do it:

Can you believe that?

A little chin music

and the whole neighborhood

goes crazy.

It was like...

Oh, and for Carl and Molly,

press two:

Oh, I meant

to tell you about that.

I changed the

answering machine in case

somebody calls about a job.

I'm staying on top

of this job thing.

You guys are okay with that,

right?

We got to put the job first.

Well, Carl,

are we okay with that?

Molly. Molly, come on.

Nice.

HBO:
Simply the best:

When did we get HBO?

Yeah, you saw that.

I upgraded us, and I'm

going to go halfsies on it

'cause I love it also.

You get it upstairs,

too.

I think you get

the Oxygen channel, too.

What? What are you doing?

What?

What do you want? Cinemax?

What do you hear?

What do you say?

MOLLY:
So, let me get this

straight. I mean, he hijacks

our answering machine.

"Carl and Molly, press two."

Okay?

And then he decides,

"Hey, I'm sleeping

on the couch,

"and I'm gonna order HBO."

I mean, I don't know, Carl.

Am I wrong here?

Carl!

Molly, what do you want

me to do, whack the guy?

Look, I told Dupree

not to change anything

without asking,

and I gave him

a pair of pajamas.

Dupree's gonna

get the hang of this.

He's never truly been

domesticated. He's like

the ape-man of Borneo.

Oh, so we're the lucky ones

who get to housebreak him?

No, you know what I mean,

honey.

I'm over it.

I finished

my thank-you notes today.

Do you need help

with your half?

No, no, no, I...

Candlesticks, bread maker,

Crock-Pot. I got them covered.

It's my final offer.

No, I got them covered.

(MOLLY EXCLAIMING)

Sorry to interrupt. Oh!

Damn it, Dupree!

What is this?

This is an emergency.

I'm sorry.

The downstairs crapper,

it's on the fritz again.

What do you mean,

"It's on the fritz"?

I don't know.

It's on the fritz.

Please tell me he's joking.

We might need some matches.

Does that

answer your question?

MOLLY:
Oh, God!

Dupree! Oh, my God. I don't...

Carl! Carl!

Dupree! Dupree?

Yo!

Dupree, what you did

in our bathroom last night

was disgusting.

Molly nearly passed out.

I know, I know.

Believe me.

I'm never eating

Buffalo wings again.

I don't care how much

I love them. I'm off them.

It's weird. I used to have

a stomach like a billy goat,

but not anymore.

Now, I made a little breakfast

for... Molly, great.

Come here.

Morning.

DUPREE:
Good morning.

Right here. Let me get

this chair for you here.

Have a seat.

Breakfast is served.

Yes.

I believe Carl told me

you're a fan of

the banana pancake

and the soy macchiato.

One second.

DUPREE:
I want

this to be perfect.

Did you tell him all this?

Here you go.

Soy macchiato.

Dupree, you really

didn't have to do all this.

Yes, I did have to do this.

Look, I know I got off

on the wrong foot,

and I just want you both

to know that I really

appreciate this.

And I'm grateful.

I don't know

what to say, but...

Don't say anything.

Just accept my apology

and enjoy this feast.

I'm off to a very promising

job interview

which explains

my natty attire.

Wish me luck. Goodbye.

CARL:
Good luck.

Go get them, tiger!

I will. Thank you.

Off like a prom dress.

MANAGER:
So, why don't you

describe yourself, Mr. Dupree.

I'm a people person.

Very personable.

I absolutely insist

on enjoying life.

Not so task-oriented.

I'm not a workhorse.

If you're looking

for a Clydesdale,

I'm probably not your man.

Like, I don't live to work.

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