You Should Meet My Son! Page #7

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Such as?

Can I offer anyone a drink?

Thank you but we never touch...

The devil's alcohol, I remember now.

Well Brian how about you?

I just learned how to make a Sour Apple Martini

and I am just dying...

To try it.

Mom you know I don't drink alcohol.

Silly me.

Jenny Sue you have certainly had an

influence over my little Brian.

Why thank you.

It is almost like I am getting a whole new son.

You know mom I could really go for a glass of ice tea.

What a nice idea....

Why don't you do and fetch a pitcher for the rest of us?

I can't tell you how happy I am,

that he is marrying a nice girl like Jenny Sue.

My little pumpkin is quite a catch.

Are you OK with Brian being....

The past is the past.

And I always said...

If anyone can turn a queer man straight it is my lttle girl.

Really?

You actually went around saying that?

Is everyone getting along?

Of course dear, I was just telling Jenny Sue

how I can't wait to get some grand kids.

and I can't wait to get started on them.

But I will of course wait till after we are married.

I think that might be best.

I'm sorry is this a bad time?

Chase it is never a bad time to see you.

Well I finished the piece would you like to take a look at it?

I can't wait

OK.

Chase is such a sweet boy,

he has been helping me out around the house

Well mom you know I would do that if you just asked.

Oh don't be silly.

Chase needs to earn a little money for art school.

Besides I am sure you are much to busy fixing

up your place for Jenny Sue.

We are not going to keep that old place.

Really?

We have picked out a new house

for them in our neighbourhood.

Calvary Heights.

It's a gated Christian community.

Very nice, only the right sort of people.

But we really haven't decided yet.

Oh nonsense.

No grandchild of mine is going to be raised...

in that heck hole of a neighbourhood you live in.

Did you know there is a Mormon family,

living just down the block from him?

and the Muslims are moving in.

There is even a rumour of.....

Unitarians.

No!

Yes.

OK are you ready?

What do you think?

Oh my lord...

It's err....

Chase when you said you were doing a portrait....

Isn't that George Bush?

Yep.

And that's his penis.

It's err.... as near as I could guess.

Isn't it really funny how different people

have different interpretations of art.

I just got it

The emperor has no clothes.

I was wondering if you were going to get

the reference.

You want me to come back tomorrow so I can hang it?

Oh could you do it now I want it right

here over the fireplace.

What?

Now that I have seen it I can't go

another night without looking at it.

You are hanging a picture of a

naked man in your living room?

I don't see what the big deal is daddy?

Well Brian has the shower curtain

covered in little pictures....

I can tell we are going to have some lively art

discussions over family dinners huh.

What is on your shower curtain?

It's a sketch on Michaelangelo...

Who's that?

Probably just Fantasia.

Mae darling it is good to see you.

Fantasia...

What a nice surprise.

What an unexpected pleasure.

These are my parents.

This is Edna and Buddy.

Mom this is Fantasia.

She is the one that showed me

this trick with the lipstick

Really?

Well you didn't tell me she.... she...

Coloured?

Did I forget to mention that?

What are you doing here?

Yeah what are you doing here?

Picking up Rose we have tickets to see a show.

A girl's night out

that sounds like so much fun

Now you have to tell me each and everything you get...

Now no one likes a girl who talks to much.

Yes mam.

So what are you two ladies going to see?

Oh it's called "Over Night Male"

It's a group of male strippers.

Mom shouldn't we be sitting down to dinner?

Brian, don't be rude to my friend.

Besides that Rose won't be ready for another 20 mins.

Yes mam...

Sorry Fantasia it is good to see you.

Think nothing of it planning a wedding

can be ever so stressful

Err... can I get you something?

Maybe a glass of ice tea?

Actually I am dressed for red wine if you got it.

I have a bottle in the kitchen.

Charmed I am sure.

Hi, Fantasia

Oh and how is our budding young artist tonight?

Nice job with the flesh tones.

But his willy isn't that big.

How would you....?

One of my performing gigs.

I'll tell you all about it at your bachelorette party.

(sequels) I get a party?

Well of course... we can't let you get

married without one last night of fun.

Jenny Sue, we need to have a

little talk about your new friends.

I was thinking we would go for a western theme.

All the guests can wear these little cowgirl outfits.

I am not sure that is really suitable.

Hey sport I am looking for a stud.

.... in the wall.

I know this one performer by the name of "Cowboy Joe"....

Who can do a trick with a 10 galleon hat, where he holds his...

I wish the best for the both of you.

Owww damn it

I think you meant oops,

your going to be hanging out with the holy rollers there,

You might want to stay away from the D word.

Trust me my mom is penticostal.

.... It just hangs there.

Oh thank you.

Aren't you having any Edna?

We never touch the devil's alcohol.

Oh really, you mean Satan is responsible

for this delightful Merlot

He is a cagey one....!

Does you mom know about....

Me oh yeah.

I told her when I was 16.

Wow... do you two ever talk?

Talk no?

shout lots.

Sorry.

Hey at least we are still trying.

It's right there in the bible.

Yes sir, that merlot is practically devil juice.

I must have missed that verse.

Didn't Jesus once turn water into wine?

He must have been very popular at parties.

So what so you think?

Do you want the nice answer or the honest one?

(Brian) Well I have this urge.

(Buddy) It was just a demonstration of his power.

what of Bartending?

Most certainly not.

That's my opinion.

I know it's...

I think it is so cute that you had an art class in college.

Jesus makes wine for his guests

but there not allowed to drink it?

Now you have got it.

I bet no one went back to his parties a second time.

I bet you can actually use the word

"impressionism" in a sentence.

Listen Mr I will have you know...

(Sounds of heated conversation in the background)

That I was...

Puppies.

what?

Err... Jenny Sue and I have decided

that we going to adopt a puppy

We did?

Wow isn't that nice?

As long as it is a big dog I hate those little yappy ones.

Yes Buddy I know exactly what you mean.

I simply can't abide those little purse rats.

I know.... what was Paris Hilton thinking?

Who said that b*tch knew anything about fashion?

I don't know, I thought that top she

wore to the emmy's was really cute

That thing with the ruffles you really liked that?

Well not on me,

But maybe with someone with a little more cleavage....

Jenny Sue...

To much talking....

Sorry Momma

So about that dog....

We were thinking maybe a German Shepard

perhaps a....

Hey Rose...

(Rose speaks with a sexy voice)

Hello I'm Rose.

Now there is a woman who knows

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