Young Doctors In Love Page #6

to tell me if a patient has saxafragia mitosis.

I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her.

Why did you tell us the tests were negative?

What did you want me to do?

Say she's a goner?

Sorry, doc. I wanted you kids

to have a nice Christmas.

She's not a goner.

It's been cured by surgery before.

Once! Once out of 6,000 cases.

It's the most complex surgery there is.

There's only one doctor in the world

that's ever done it successfully.

I'll go find that doctor

and make him do it for her.

You won't have to go far.

He's right here in this hospital.

- Who?

- Dr. Prang, as a matter of fact.

- He can perform an operation.

- What operation?

It's a paraglobular underpass...

with a subarachnoid angulation

of the sphenoid wing.

Will he do it?

I spoke to him briefly this evening.

He said he'd get back to me

as soon as he got the girl off his face.

- Fine.

- I'll check in later, okay?

Merry Christmas.

Who was the girl?

- Jyll Omato.

- Omato.

You say Omato, I say Omato.

I want a lover with a slow hand

I want a lover with an easy touch

Your daughter Angela is a very lovely girl.

And she cares about you a lot.

I've got an idea.

Why don't I get these flowers...

you give them to Angela and let her know

how much you care about her?

- Mrs. Greschler?

- What?

Could I please have some carnations?

- You want carnations?

- Please.

- I've got lovely mums.

- You don't want any mums, do you?

- You don't want any mums?

- No. Carnations.

- You don't want mums?

- No, I think carnations.

Nobody wants my lousy mums.

Got to be carnations.

The ones down at the end are fine.

I've got some right down here.

I'll get them for you.

- Thank you, Mrs. Greschler.

- Just a minute. These are lovely, too.

Not as lovely as mums, but they're good.

- Thank you, Mrs. Greschler. Bye-bye.

- Thank you.

Rist, have you heard anything

about your residency?

Not yet, Litto.

I guess you could say

I'm the kind of guy who's tuned in.

Tuned in to holistic psychiatry.

No smoking.

All right, Mr. Callahan.

It's time for our bodily function.

Mrs. Greschler.

- I'd like to buy some chrysanthemums.

- I've got some mums.

Attention please.

Anyone who has had contact with

the gift shop candy-striper Jyll Omato...

please report to the VD clinic.

Let me tell you about this operation, kid.

It's a maze, do you understand?

You have to shut off three arteries.

You have to regulate four enzyme flows.

You have to replace two fluids

and a blood supply, twice.

One teeny weeny little mistake...

and you might as well piss on the fire

and call the dogs 'cause it's all over.

- I will be there to assist you, Doctor.

- You?

I wouldn't let you

take a splinter out of a rat's ass.

- Look, you've done the operation before.

- Yes. But no more.

This one is not meant to be.

Dr. Prang, I've appealed to you

as a physician, and as a man.

There's only one other way

to put this to you.

Will you operate on Stephanie Brody?

No.

Okay. We'll need an anesthesiologist.

We'll need an endocrine person.

We'll get all the best people.

We'll work with them

till they can do it blind-folded.

We'll have fun with it.

Emilia, press the button.

Okay.

Now she's in somebody else's bed.

I really appreciate this, Dr. Prang.

Okay. Just don't hit me anymore.

Who's that on the end?

That's Dr. Quick, Doctor.

Doppenheimer's out of town.

He recommended Quick himself.

Never mind. All right. Everybody ready?

Scalpel.

- Ready with the dialysis retractor?

- On. Counting now, Dr. Prang.

- Give it to me in fives. X-ray?

- Fifty.

Blood count?

Fifteen on twelve.

- Heart?

- Normal.

- X-ray?

- Twenty-five.

- Moving. No shadow.

- Twenty.

- Renostomy count, quickly.

- 25 over 20.

Fifteen.

- Platinum wire.

- Platinum wire.

Seventeen, damn it!

Seventeen, damn it!

- Time?

- Ten seconds.

- Five.

- Nope. We're in trouble.

- Nine seconds.

- We're losing her.

- Eight seconds.

- I've reopened the scarpoid valve.

- Seven seconds.

- Oxygen.

Oxygen.

- Counting down.

- Four seconds.

Two seconds.

- Gattling frappe, quickly.

- One second.

- Zero, Doctor.

- That's it.

No, never mind!

We've lost her.

We killed her.

We'll have to do better than that, won't we?

All right, let's try it again.

Only this time, let's practice on him.

You son of a...

Dr. Prang, you just had

a very urgent call from your accountant.

Oscar? What did he say?

He said you're broke.

Broke?

Attention. Tomorrow Dr. Prang

will perform...

a saxafragia mitosis operation

on our very own Stephanie Brody.

Tickets are still available.

The public is invited.

Don't worry, Emilia.

We'll fix this bed outside,

so you won't hit the ceiling.

Ice cream.

Vanilla ice cream. We have established that.

Did I hear you say

you wanted some vanilla ice cream?

Vanilla ice cream, yeah.

When last we met,

I quoted you $20 on these.

You've got it.

As we speak,

people grow badly addicted to them.

I'm gonna have to ask you for $40

and I'll throw in water pills.

- I'd rather have the bag.

- Fine, you can...

I'm a doctor! I worked hard for this.

This is typical.

We'll get your buddy.

Don't worry.

Phil?

Can I talk to her?

For a minute.

Freeze!

Let's go. It's going to be a car chase.

Door's locked. No chase.

Freeze!

Am I pointing this at you?

Good job, Blind Officer.

- Did we get them?

- We got them.

Hi. What's your name?

I'm sorry, Phil, but it just had to be this way.

I guess so.

Listen, when you tell people about this...

and I want you to tell a lot of people...

use me as a warning.

You worked so hard to be a doctor.

Do me a favor.

Tell medicine that I'm no good for it.

Did you like me?

Yes.

- Why did you do it, anyway?

- Reaganomics.

Attention, all nurses

report to the picket line outside.

We're going on strike, baby.

Hi.

Nurses unite!

- Out of our way, Doctor.

- Wait a minute. Where are you going?

Out! As of this minute,

the nurses are on strike.

You can't walk out now.

Stephanie is due in surgery.

If we don't operate, she might not make it.

- Talk to Dr. Prang.

- He hasn't paid us in two months.

You're taking this very well, Stephanie.

Hello, excuse me.

You were just visiting someone

at this hospital, weren't you?

That's right.

- May I ask you a question?

- Sure, go right ahead.

What do you think of this nurses' strike?

I got nothing to do with this at all.

Hey, a**hole, get off the car!

You hear?

Listen, excuse me.

I don't give a f*** about this,

but there's an a**hole on my car.

- Thank you very much.

- Come here!

Get off the f***ing car. F***ing pleasure.

I'm gonna rip your nose off.

They're not coming, are they?

We're just running a bit late, that's all.

They'll be here.

We've got to help Simon.

He's stuck up there without any nurses.

Remember, this is why we want

to be doctors in the first place. Okay?

Rist, your patient Sal's going home.

Okay, the three of you should help.

I'll meet you there.

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