Young Frankenstein

FADE IN:

1EXT. FRANKENSTEIN CASTLE1

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

On a distant, rainy hill, the old Frankenstein castle, as

we knew and loved it, is illuminated by ANOTHER BOLT OF

LIGHTNING.

MUSIC:
AN EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY begins to PLAY in

the b.g.

2ANOTHER ANGLE2

as we MOVE SLOWLY CLOSER to the castle. It is completely

dark, except for one room -- a study in the corner of the

castle -- which is only lit by candles.

Now we are just outside a rain-splattered window of the

study. We LOOK IN and SEE:

3INT. STUDY - NIGHT3

An open coffin rests on a table we can not see it's contents.

As the CAMERA SLOWLY CIRCLES the coffin for a BETTER VIEW...

A CLOCK BEGINS TO CHIME: "ONE," "TWO," "THREE," "FOUR..."

We are ALMOST FACING the front of the coffin. "FIVE,"

"SIX," "SEVEN," "EIGHT..."

The CAMERA STOPS. Now it MOVES UP AND ABOVE the satin-lined

coffin. "NINE," "TEN," "ELEVEN," "T W E L V E!"

CUT TO:

4THE EMBALMED HEAD OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN4

Half of still clings to the waxen balm; the other

half has decayed to skull. Below his head is a skeleton,

whose bony fingers cling to a metal box.

5A HAND5

reaches in to grasp the metal box. It lifts the box halfway

out of the coffin -- the skeleton's fingers rising, involun-

tarily, with the box.

Cont.

2

5 Cont.

Then, as of by force of will, the skeleton's fingers grab

the box back and place it where it was.

Now the "Hand" -- using its other hand -- grabs the box

back from the skeleton's fingers. The skeleton no longer

resists.

6CORNELIUS WALDMAN6

whose "Hands" we have just seen, now carries the box to a

small table. He takes a tiny key out from his vest pocket

and begins to unlock the metal box.

NINE PEOPLE watch him closely. They are seated on chairs

in the study, waiting to hear the contents of

Beaufort Frankenstein's will. Their dress is turn-of-the-

century Transylvanian.

Cornelius Waldman fumbles with the lock, emitting strange

grunts as he tries to open it. With each grunt, the face

of a "potential Heir" is SEEN, squirming with frustration

or anger.

FIRST VILLAGER (WALTER)

Fumbling fool! For two kronen

I'd rip that box fight out of his

hands.

ILSE (HIS WIFE)

Shhh!

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER (HENRICH)

Hurry. Idiot, hurry!

AGATHA (HIS WIFE)

Quiet, Henrich! We've waited seventy

years...another three or four seconds

won't hurt.

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER

Another three of four more seconds?

I could be dead by then.

AGATHA:

Shhh!

FIFTH VILLAGER (A MAN)

What if he's left you out?

HELENE (HIS GIRL FRIEND)

Just let him try -- I'll take care

of him.

Cont.

3

6 Cont.

ANASTASIA (A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN)

Oh, Mommy...I hardly remember. Did

the Baron really like me when I was

a child?

MARLENE (HER MOTHER)

Like a father!

NINTH VILLAGER (WOLFGANG)

(muttering to

himself)

Wenn dieser Bloder kerl sich nicht

beeilt verde ich verruckt. Was zum

Teufel machte?

MARLENE:

Shhh!

Cornelius Waldman finally opens the lock. He takes out an

old parchment, puts on his glasses, coughs and sputters a

few times, and then begins to read.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

'I, Beaufort Frankenstein, in this

my eighty third year of life, do

hereby make, publish and declare the

following statements as and for my

last will and testament, and I direct

my executor, Cornelius Waldman, to

inform and assemble those persons

previously divulged to him, that

they may hear -- in my own voice --

the final disposition of my property.'

At the words, "In my own voice," the nine "Potential Heirs"

exchange curious glances.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

(still reading)

'Such disposition to commerce at

the hour of twelve o'clock of my

one hundredth birthday. If all

the conditions heretofore set forth

have been met, now then -- hear once

more, and for the last time...the

authenticity of my own voice!'

Cornelius Waldman nos to a Clerk, HERR FALKSTEIN, who

is standing nearby.

Cont.

4

6 Cont.1

Herr Falkstein places the needle of an old victrola onto

an already spinning record. It SCRATCHES and then begins

to PLAY.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s.)

How do you do this thing? Where?

In here? Just talk right into it?

All right. Am I close enough? All

right, all right -- get the hell

out of the way.

(he clears his throat,

then speaks in a deep,

majestic voice)

The once proud name of Frankenstein

has been dragged, by my only son,

Victor, into an abyss of shame.

There was a time when the name

'Frankenstein' conjured dreams of

virtue, of honor and devotion. Now,

no guilt, no malignity, no misery

can be found to equal mine. And

the catalogue of sins of my once

devoted son will not cease to

rankle in my wounds until death

shall close them forever -- so

supremely frightful is the effect

of any human endeavor to mock the

stupendous mechanism of the Creator

of the world.

Did you get all that? Are you sure

you got 'rankle in my wounds'? I'll

kill you if you screw this up. All

right, all right. Now as to the

disposition of my estate.

Everyone in the room sits alert.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s)

To my cousins, Henrich and Agatha...

CUT TO:

7THE NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER AND HIS WIFE7

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s.)

...and to my cousin Walter and his

wife Ilse...

CUT TO:

5

8WALTER AND ILSE8

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s)

...and to my niece Helene...

CUT TO:

9HELENE9

sitting with her boyfriend.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s)

...and my dear nephew Wolfgang...

CUT TO:

10WOLFGANG10

sitting alone.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s.)

...and lastly, to my cherished old

friend, Marlene, and her charming

daughter, Anastasia...

CUT TO:

11ANASTASIA AND HER MOTHER11

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s.)

...to all of you, in equal shares,

I hereby give, devise and bequeath,

absolutely and without any

restrictions whatsoever, all

property of every sort and

description, whether real,

personal or mixed, to which my

estate shall be entitled.

12HENRICH AND AGATHA12

are hugging each other.

13WALTER AND ILSE13

hugging each other.

14HELENE AND ANASTASIA14

hugging each other.

6

15WOLFGANG15

is hugging himself.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s.)

Unless...!

16GROUP SHOT16

They all look up suddenly from their hugging.

17ANOTHER ANGLE17

SCRATCH, SCRATCH, SCRATCH...the needle has reached the

end of the first side.

18HERR FALKSTEIN18

lifts the arm off and turns the record over.

HERR FALKSTEIN:

(apologetically)

It's a seventy eight.

He places the needle on the record.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s.)

...Unless...my only male heir, my

great-grandson, Frederick -- whom I

have never seen but who is, at the

time of this recording, ten years of

age and residing in America with my

granddaughter, Katherine -- has, by

his own free will, embraced Medicine

as his career and acquitted himself

with some measure of esteem. Then,

to him I leave...everything!

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