Young Frankenstein Page #2

The nine "Potential Heirs" are expressionless.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

(o.s.)

My castle, together with its

laboratory, its public and private

library, and all notes and journals

contained therein, all acreage

surrounding my estate, plus all

income and principle thereof...in

the fond hope that yet another

Frankenstein shall lift our family

name to an eminence of dignity, and

sanity, that it once enjoyed.

Cont.

7

18 Cont.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (Cont.)

(o.s.)

As for my dear friends and relations,

should this latter improbability come

to be...I know that I have your

complete understanding. For the road

to salvation and repentance must be

paved up the avenue of my soul, and

not up yours, up yours, up yours,

up yours, up yours...

Herr Falkstein removes the needle from the finished record.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Herr Falkstein! Did you inform

Frederick Frankenstein of this

assembly and all the particulars

of the time and place?

HERR FALKSTEIN:

I did, sir.

He takes a cablegram out from his pocket.

HERR FALKSTEIN:

But I received a cable only this

morning, saying that he could not

come.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Was he aware of the importance of

this occasion?

HERR FALKSTEIN:

Yes, sir, he was. But he said he

was obligated to lecture at

Johns Hopkins University.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

What lecture could be more

important than the will of

Baron Beaufort Frankenstein?

HERR FALKSTEIN:

(reading the cable)

'Functional areas of the cerebrum

in relation to the skull.'

The Ninety-Year-Old Villager passes out.

Cont.

8

18 Cont.1

ANASTASIA:

(very sweetly)

Excuse me, Mr. Waldman -- excuse me

for interrupting. But is Frederick,

then...a medical doctor?

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Yes, my dear, he is.

ANASTASIA:

And has he achieved...any special

degree of eminence?

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

He is the fifth leading authority

in his field.

ANASTASIA:

(sinking her head

into her hand)

Oh, sh*t.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Herr Falkstein -- you must go at

once and present Dr. Frankenstein

with all the details of his

inheritance. The estate will

provide for your journey.

HELENE:

I object, Herr Waldman! This is a

travesty. If the beloved great-

grandson cared anything at all for

the House of Frankenstein, he would

have shown it by being here with

those of us who still have some

respect. I think we should completely

disregard the afterthoughts of a very

old man.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Madam -- the foundation of civilization

rests upon adherence to the law. And

the Law is the Law. Das Gesetz ist

das Gesetz!

Wolfgang -- the man who mutters only in German -- CRASHES the

back of his head halfway into the wall behind him.

Cont.

9

18 Cont.2

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Herr Falkstein! You have your

instructions!

HERR FALKSTEIN:

Yes, sir.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

I have taken an oath that each

letter of this testament shall

be executed...and by God, it

shall be done!

The lid of Beaufort Frankenstein's coffin SLAMS SHUT

by itself.

DISSOLVE TO:

19LEGEND ON THE SCREEN19

It reads:

JOHNS HOPKINS HOSPITAL

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND

21205

20INT. MEDICAL ARENA - DAY20

Herr Falkstein quietly enters into the balcony of an

arena packed with young MEDICAL STUDENTS. A lecture is

in progress.

LECTURER'S VOICE

(o.s.)

If we look at the base of a brain

which has just been removed from

a skull, there's very little of

the midbrain that we can actually

see.

Cont.

10

20 Cont.

Herr Falkstein proceeds, almost on tiptoe, along the

aisle towards a vacant seat. He is carrying a briefcase

and a small metal box.

LECTURER'S VOICE

(o.s.)

Yet, as I demonstrated in my

lecture last week, if the under

aspects of the temporal lobes

are gently pulled apart, the

upper portion of the stem of

the brain can be seen.

Herr Falkstein's footsteps ECHO ever so lightly against

the cold stone floor, as he passes the faces of students

intense with concentration.

LECTURER'S VOICE

(o.s.)

This so called 'brain stem'

consists of the midbrain, a

rounded protrusion called the

pons, and a stalk tapering

downwards called the

medulla oblongata which passes

out of the skull through the

foramen magnum and becomes,

of course...the spinal cord.

Herr Falkstein finds a vacant place and sits down.

LECTURER'S VOICE

(o.s.)

Which brings us directly to the

demonstration prepared for today.

Are there any questions before

we proceed?

MEDICAL STUDENT:

(rising)

I have one question,

Dr. Frankenstein.

CUT TO:

11

21ANOTHER ANGLE21

Our first LOOK at the famous Lecturer.

FREDDY:

That's 'Fronkonsteen.'

MEDICAL STUDENT:

I beg your pardon?

FREDDY:

My name is pronounced Fron kon steen.

MEDICAL STUDENT:

Oh! I thought it was Dr. Frankenstein.

FREDDY:

No, it's Dr. Fronkonsteen!

MEDICAL STUDENT:

But aren't you the grandson of the

famous Dr. Victor Frankenstein?...

who performed such fascinating

experiments in electricity and

galvanism?

FREDDY:

That's true! But my grandfather,

Victor was, after all, what we

might politely refer to as... a

cuckoo!

Polite laughter.

FREDDY:

I prefer, by far, to be remembered

for my own small contributions to

science. Now if we can proceed to

your questions.

MEDICAL STUDENT:

Well sir... I'm not sure I

understand the distinction between

'Reflexive' and 'Voluntary' nerve

impulses.

FREDDY:

Very good! Since our lab work today

is a demonstration of just that

distinction... why don't we proceed?

Behind Freddy is a PATIENT, lying on an operating table.

CARLSON, an assistant, stands near the Patient, next to

a small table of instruments.

Cont.

12

21 Cont.

FREDDY:

What are we actually talking about

when we use the term, 'Brain'? We

are talking about... a cauliflower!

Freddy turns to Carlson.

FREDDY:

May I have the cauliflower, please!

Carlson hands Freddy a giant cauliflower.

FREDDY:

If we make a small slit, down the

center of this cauliflower...

Freddy turns to Carlson, who hands him the scalpel. Freddy

makes a small slit down the center of the cauliflower.

FREDDY:

...and then, ever so gently,

gently, gently... pull it apart...

Freddy has some difficulty pulling the cauliflower apart.

It begins to crumble, but he goes on, professionally.

FREDDY:

...we should find, with any luck

at all... a stalk of... celery!

There is no celery inside the cauliflower. Freddy flushes

red.

FREDDY:

(to Carlson)

Where did you get this cauliflower?

CARLSON:

From your office, sir.

FREDDY:

Didn't you prepare it with the

celery before my lecture?

CARLSON:

Yes, sir. But I must have taken

the wrong one when we came up.

FREDDY:

(in quiet rage)

Are you trying to make me look

like an idiot?

Cont.

13

21 Cont.1

CARLSON:

No, sir. It will never happen again.

FREDDY:

(handing him

the cauliflower)

Here! This cauliflower is useless

to me.

Freddy turns back to his audience.

FREDDY:

With any normal cauliflower, we

would have found a stalk of celery,

or... 'Brain Stem' which brings us

to the practical application of

our study.

Freddy moves behind the Patient on the table.

FREDDY:

Mr. Hilltop here -- with whom I have

never worked of given any prior

instructions to -- has graciously

offered his services for this afternoon's

demonstration. Mr. Hilltop!

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