Young Frankenstein Page #3

HILLTOP:

Yes, sir?

FREDDY:

Have we ever seen each other before

this afternoon?

HILLTOP:

No, sir.

FREDDY:

Tell them!

HILLTOP:

(turning to the

Medical Students)

No, sir -- we haven't.

FREDDY:

(to his audience)

Do I lie?

(to Mr. Hilltop)

Would you be so kind enough to hop

up on your feet and stand beside

this table.

Mr. Hill top gets off of the table and stands erect.

Cont.

14

21 Cont.2

FREDDY:

Mr. Hilltop! Would you raise

your left knee, please!

Mr. Hilltop raises his left knee.

FREDDY:

You have just witnessed a 'Voluntary'

nerve impulse. It begins as a

stimulus from the cerebral cortex,

passes through the brain stem and

then to the particular muscle

involved. Mr. Hilltop, you may

lower your knee.

He lowers his knee.

FREDDY:

'Reflex movements are those which

are made independently of the will,

but are carried out along pathways

which pass between the periphery and

the central nervous system. You

filthy, rotten, yellow son of a B*TCH!

Freddy pokes his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's balls.

Mr. Hilltop reacts accordingly.

FREDDY:

We are not aware of the impulses,

neither do we intend them to contract

our muscles. Yet -- as you can see --

they work by themselves.

By this time, Mr. Hilltop has lowered his protective thigh

... a little nervously.

FREDDY:

Now then! Modern research has

shown us that by simply applying

local pressure of ' blocking' the

nerve impulse... which can be done

with any ordinary metal clamp...

Freddy reaches out his hand. Carlson hands him a bicycle

clamp. Freddy holds Mr. Hilltop's head and places the

clamp behind Mr. Hilltop's ears.

FREDDY:

... Just at the swelling on the

posterior nerve root -- for, oh

say five or six seconds...

A short pause. Freddy looks at his watch.

Cont.

15

21 Cont.3

FREDDY:

Why you mother-grabbing BASTARD!

Freddy once again jerks his knee close to Mr. Hilltop's

balls. This time Mr. Hilltop doesn't move. He is almost

ready to pass out.

FREDDY:

All communication is shut off.

Similarly, damage to a nerve will

mean that not all the impulses can

get through and there will be

weakness of a muscle...

Mr. Hilltop collapses to the floor. Freddy never looks down.

FREDDY:

...or group of muscles, with some

loss of skin sensation on the area

supplied by that nerve. In spite

of our mechanical magnificence, if

there is not this continuous stream

of impulses... we would collapse

like... a bunch of broccoli.

A smattering of POLITE APPLAUSE. Freddy reaches down and

removes the metal clamp from Mr. Hilltop's head.

FREDDY:

(to Carlson)

Give him an extra dollar.

CARLSON:

Yes, sir.

Carlson picks up Mr. Hilltop and places him on the operating

table.

FREDDY:

In conclusion... it should be noted

that more than common injury to the

nerve roots is always serious,

because... once a nerve fibber is

severed... there is no way to

regenerate life back into it. Are

there any more questions before we

leave?

MEDICAL STUDENT:

Dr. Fronkonsteen!

FREDDY:

Yes?

Cont.

16

21 Cont.4

MEDICAL STUDENT:

Isn't it true that Darwin preserved

a piece of vermicelli in a glass

case until, by some extraordinary

means, it actually began to move

with voluntary motion?

FREDDY:

A piece of what?

MEDICAL STUDENT:

Vermicelli.

FREDDY:

Are you speaking of the worm, or

... the spaghetti.

FREDDY:

Why the worm, Sir.

FREDDY:

Ah! In science you must be very

precise -- it can spell the

difference between life and death.

(to Carlson)

I don't want that fellow in class

next semester.

CARLSON:

Yes, sir.

FREDDY:

He has a big mouth.

(to Medical Student)

Yes! It seems to me I did read

something about that incident as a

student. But you have to remember

that a worm -- with very few exceptions

-- is not a human being.

MEDICAL STUDENT:

But wasn't that the whole basis of

your grandfathers work, sir...? the

re-animation of component parts?

FREDDY:

My father was a sick man.

MEDICAL STUDENT:

But aren't you the least bit curious

about it, Doctor? Doesn't the secret

of life hold any intrigue for you?

FREDDY:

You are talking about the gibberish

ravings of a lunatic mind.

Cont.

17

21 Cont.5

MEDICAL STUDENT:

Yes, but, sir... if it could be

accomplished, wouldn't that

eliminate disease from the human

frame and render man invulnerable

to any but a violent death?

FREDDY:

How old are you, young man?

MEDICAL STUDENT:

Nineteen, sir.

FREDDY:

Nineteen! My dear young man...

once the human organism has ceased

to function, nature has deemed

that creature to be dead.

MEDICAL STUDENT:

But look at what's been done with

hearts and kidneys!

FREDDY:

Hearts and kidneys are Tinker Toys!

I'm talking about the Central

Nervous System.

MEDICAL STUDENT:

But, sir...

FREDDY:

I am a scientist...! not a

philosopher.

He holds up his scalpel.

FREDDY:

You have more chance of re-animating

this knife than you have of mending

a broken nervous system,

MEDICAL STUDENT:

But your grandfather's work, sir...

FREDDY:

My grandfather's work was Doo-Doo!

Dead is Dead! There's only one

thing I am interested in... and that

is the preservation of LIFE!

Cont.

18

21 Cont.6

POLITE APPLAUSE. However, on the word "Life," Freddy

has plunged the scalpel into his thigh by mistake. No one

but Freddy and the Movie Audience is aware of this.

FREDDY:

Class... is... dismissed!

The students begin to leave.

FREDDY:

Carlson!

CARLSON:

Yes, sir?

FREDDY:

Bring me some surgical gauze, a

little tape and some disinfectant.

CARLSON:

Yes, sir. Do you want the other

cauliflower?

FREDDY:

... No!

Herr Falkstein approaches with the metal box.

HERR FALKSTEIN:

Dr. Frankenstein?

FREDDY:

(through his teeth)

Fron kon steen!

HERR FALKSTEIN:

My name is Gerhart Falkstein.

DISSOLVE TO:

22EXT. A CITY STREET - DAY22

Herr Falkstein and Freddy are walking along the sidewalk.

In the distance, a little OLD VIOLINIST, wearing a

Tyrolean hat, plays a cheerful tune on his violin. His

open violin case rests on the ground beside him.

FREDDY:

One hundred thousand dollars???

Cont.

19

22 Cont.

HERR FALKSTEIN:

Oh, at least, sir. The land alone

is worth a small fortune.

FREDDY:

But I can't just drop everything and

leave. I have responsibilities and

obligations.

HERR FALKSTEIN:

Do you have a hundred thousand of

them, sir?

Freddy looks at Herr Falkstein. The little Old Violinist

has finished his cheerful tune. He now plays the eerie

Transylvanian Lullaby that was heard at the opening.

FREDDY:

How long will this whole thing

take?

HERR FALKSTEIN:

A week. Ten days at most.

FREDDY:

I'll have to think it over. It's

not so easy just to pick up and...

Freddy stops -- the music seeping into a dark and forgotten

corner of his brain.

FREDDY:

Curious melody! Haunting, isn't

it?

Freddy, followed by Herr Falkstein, walks back a few steps

and stands next to the Old Violinist as he plays.

FREDDY:

What's that tune that you're playing

OLD VIOLINIST:

Zis is an old Transylvanian Lullaby.

FREDDY:

How sweet! Such a quaint little

tune.

Freddy rubs his temples with his fingertips for a moment.

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