Zapped! Page #5

- "Pink carnations at Alfredo's tonight."

- But I said Giuseppe's.

She said Alfredo's is more romantic,

and I agree.

Okay, this is it. Oh, God.

I'm excited already.

I think she's the woman

I've been waiting for.

- What do you think?

- Well, here. What's your horoscope say?

"A casual encounter may be

the hot affair you've been waiting for,

"if you don't choke."

You know, Barney, I'm the last person

I thought would be excited

over the senior prom,

and now I can't wait.

Yeah, neither can I.

- Hey, Barn.

- Hey, Peyton.

Why don't you go inside?

I'll be right there.

Okay.

Hey, where you been?

I've been looking all over for you.

I've been around.

Hey, Peyton, I got a date for the prom.

You and Bernadette, huh? Great.

Now, listen,

we got invited to a frat party tonight,

and they're gonna have a roulette wheel.

I got it all figured out. You do your thing

and we'll make a fortune.

We'll break those idiots.

I don't know, Peyton. I kind of wanted

to go out with Bernadette tonight.

Oh, Barn, you can't pass this up.

Look, you can go out

with Bernadette anytime.

- Ask her along if you want.

- All right, I'll ask her.

A roulette wheel? Barney, I thought

you were a scientist, not a racketeer.

What's the big deal?

Go ahead and use your power

gambling all the time. I won't stop you.

I just hope you like being Peyton's clone.

Come on, Bernadette,

it's just this one time.

Oh, sure, tomorrow night

you'll probably go to Las Vegas.

- Hey, not a bad idea.

- Tomorrow night's the prom.

Think I'd rather go alone anyway.

- Let me go, Barney.

- I'll call you later, okay?

Barn, sometimes life is like an onion.

When you peel it, it makes you cry.

- Just leave me alone, okay?

- Barn, she'll go to the prom with you.

- Look, I'll pick you up at 8:00, okay?

- Yeah, okay.

See you later.

My date is a roulette wheel

Rose.

I never dreamed it was you.

Nor I.

Are you...

You are the sensual,

witty, intense, middle-aged man

who wants to live life to the fullest.

And you are the affectionate,

complex, adventurous woman

with an unbridled joy for living.

Joie de vivre, I said.

French.

Rose. Darling.

Very nice. Thank you.

I don't understand, sir.

You haven't ordered yet.

- We'd like a little more time.

- Very well, sir. Call me when you're ready.

- We'd like a little more time.

- Very well, sir. Call me when you're ready.

Walter. Walter.

Is everything all right here?

We'd like the house...

Burgundy, please.

Yes, sir.

- Keep your eye on the little ball.

- What little ball?

- What?

- I'm kidding.

Okay, here we go. Here we go.

Hey, glad you could make it.

Get yourself some chips.

Thanks, Robert, don't mind if I do.

Now we got it, number 29.

Twenty-nine, black.

They'll kill us when they find out

what we've done.

We're gonna have to give up

our concubine maid.

What are you worried about, Larry?

You beat off every night anyway.

Why don't you quit acting

like such a fat turd? Larry, come on.

Here we go. New blood in here. All right.

- How you doing?

- Fine.

Okay, let's go.

Someone's gotta win. Let's go.

Place your bets. Place your bets, everyone.

Place your bets.

- All right, let's try it, pal.

- DEALER:
Okay, here we go.

Place your bets, everyone.

Watch the ball. Watch the ball.

Here we go. Place your bets.

Okay, here we go. Here we go.

Watch that ball bounce. Watch it bounce.

Eighteen black.

- Eighteen black is the winner.

- There's something funny going on.

Sorry, you lose.

Place your bets, everyone. Place your bets.

Let's get some money down. Come on.

Place your bets, everyone.

Look at that ball bounce around.

And it's 36... What? Make that 43 red.

You're a winner.

Let's go. Haven't we won enough?

Barney, we're just hitting our stride.

If we get good at this,

then we will hit Vegas.

We'll be set for life.

What are you talking about?

Oh, what I'm saying, Barney,

is you've gotta think big.

There's no other way to think.

Twenty-eight black.

All of it.

- I don't wanna do it anymore.

- Well, this is it.

All's I need is one more throw.

I'm really sorry, Peyton.

Hey, Wolcott,

what's going on around here?

How the hell did that happen?

That's what we're gonna find out.

Look, everybody out of here.

Let's go. Now.

That wheel was rigged.

That's what set it off.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Rigged? You scumbag.

- We want our money back.

- Yeah.

Come on, let me get him.

- Hey, Barney, wait.

- Leave me alone.

Hey, come on, man,

what the hell's the matter with you?

Can't we talk about this?

Peyton, I don't wanna talk about anything.

Just leave me alone.

Hello. This is Barney Springboro.

May I speak with Bernadette, please?

Okay. Yeah, thank you. Bye.

Them women are trouble.

First come the woman

and then the whiskey.

And then the whiskey.

And then the whiskey.

Okay, move it up a little bit on the left.

That's good. Okay.

No, not quite so far.

Now on the right just down,

just about 6 inches.

Now on the right just down,

just about 6 inches.

That's pretty good.

No, no, no, on the left,

put it down just a little bit.

Just a little bit.

What happened to you, Barney?

I don't know.

- Can we talk?

- Okay.

- Bernadette, I'm sorry.

- Oh, what about?

About the gambling,

about acting like an idiot.

- I'm through with it. It's over.

- I'm very happy for you.

Bernadette, please, don't be mad at me.

Go to the prom with me.

I mean, we have fun together, don't we?

I never felt this way with anyone before.

Well, I volunteered

for the prom committee.

- I had to get to the prom somehow.

- Well, there's no problem.

You can just go with me.

Well, I have to be here really early

to help with the decorations and stuff.

- Let's just meet there, okay?

- See you there.

Barney,

Father Gallagher and Father Murray

would like to speak with you.

Well, not now, Mom,

I'm going to the prom.

- Excuse me.

- Shall we begin the exorcism?

What are you talking about?

What exorcism?

Father, let me go. Father.

- The tranquilizers, please.

- Come on, I gotta go to the prom.

Ma, help me...

- I'm gonna throw up.

- That's one of the devil's favorite lines.

What did I tell you?

Keep him away from me. Please. Please.

I'm going now, Mom.

- Oh, hello, Fathers.

- Hello.

Okay, okay, seniors,

may I have your attention, please?

I have a very important introduction

to make.

Your class president,

Bernadette Holland, is going to reveal

who is the prom king and queen.

You know, Walt, looking at

these pretty young girls makes me feel

kind of old and ugly,

but not as ugly as you.

Ain't this a b*tch? Look who's talking.

Welcome, seniors,

I hope you're having a good time.

This year's prom queen is Jane Mitchell.

Congratulations, Jane.

- Congratulations.

- Oh, thank you. I love you all.

This year's prom king is Peyton Nichols.

- Congratulations, Peyton.

- Thank you, Bernadette.

I'd just like to say it's been a great year.

Okay, let's get on with it.

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