Zero Bridge Page #3

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Yes, sir.

Hey Dilawar...

...when your mother Rehanna visits to

see their new house...

...l want you on your best

behavior. And dress well, too.

Yes, sir.

And promise me that we won't have a

problem again, about those kids...

...because you aren't taking their

homework for money anymore, right?

You listening?

No, sir.

There's nothing like that going on.

But the mail truck only comes by

once a week...

...so you'll need to return in a

week, to check the delivery status.

You're not listening.

- Yes, l am.

Do you need some help with that?

Let's see here,

what's the first question...

See what l just did?

- Yes.

- Understand?

- Yes.

Second question, solve for X...

That's the answer.

Got it?

Thanks.

Would you look at all this

homework for me?

We got more homework

now than ever!

- Today, l'll take it all.

- Really? Why?

- l'm finally able to handle it.

- What happened?

l got myself an assistant.

Oh man, you're something else.

Everybody

pile more homework on him!

What a clever prick.

Who else has homework?

- Did you tell your brother about me?

- Go see him in a few days.

But wait for me to let you

know first.

- How much could l get for it?

- That's his call.

What's in the bag?

Personal things.

Leave it out here.

Let's go.

- Doing ok?

- Fine.

What can l do for you?

Didn't Towfeeq say l was coming?

Right, right.

Sit.

What can l do for you?

Here is what l have...

God broke the mold when

he made her, huh?

So what do you want from me?

How much can l get for it?

- l can give you 2000 rupees.

- That's not very much.

The cops are onto us

all the time now...

...it limits how much

we can get for these.

The market is tough right now.

l hope you understand.

Still, 2000 is not much.

We have to cover our expenses...

That's just how the business works.

Towfeeq told me to

go to his brother...

...that he would treat me well.

And because you are

like a brother to me...

...l will give you 2500 rupees.

2500...

l'll take it.

Give him 2500 rupees.

- No problem.

- Time to go.

Let's go. Stop wasting time.

Let's go.

What's your problem? Take your money,

get the hell out of here!

Definitely...yes, we have a

vacancy...very cute.

l have some things to do.

l'll call you right back.

Drop that. Those tourists

want a ride in the gondola.

Go and show them

around...understand?

Really be on your best with them.

- And what about the firewood?

- l said leave it.

Just go show them

something special.

- But their bathwater will be cold.

- Stop arguing! Just do it!

Aren't l right?

Why not take them to...got enough

money for the boat?

Hello?

Hey, how are you? Fine?

- Hey, are you hungry?

- Are you?

Let's go out...get something to eat.

Okay. Let's go.

There's never any business on

Saturdays anyway.

- Let's just eat downstairs.

- No, no...their food is really bad.

Dilawar, would you like tomatoes with

your eggs?

Hey...whose chess game is this?

Would you like to play a game with me?

- lf you teach me how.

- No problem. l'll show you.

So if you've never played

this before...

This is the Rook, which moves straight

this way, or like this. See?

Still with me?

This piece is the Bishop. lt moves like

this or this...

lt can't go straight...

see that?

- What about this piece?

- The Queen goes anywhere she wants.

Okay...why don't you just start?

- This one goes two spaces?

- Right, it can go two...

...and now l'm moving it

one space...

l won.

So where did you

learn to play chess?

From my physics professor.

Probably the only guy in Kashmir who

knows how to play chess!

Actually...she was a woman.

- Really? A woman?

- l had her when l was in America.

- You've been to America?

- Yes, l have.

l was studying there.

l had a job too. lt was so...

lt was great...

l felt so free.

l remember those days so clearly.

l miss them so much...

l really want to go back, but when my

passport got stolen...

Stolen?

Yes...

l felt as if l had lost everything...

l want to go back so badly.

But how can l now?

Okay, listen...

l have to leave now.

Stay, stay!

l'll teach you the game.

- No, l suck at this.

- Don't worry! l'll teach you.

- Not today.

- All right then.

- Okay...goodbye then.

- Goodbye.

Meet my friend Dilawar.

Dilawar is a friend who is interested

in traditional Kashmiri music.

He is unlike the kids of his age.

He has been a bit grumpy lately...

...l thought maybe some Kashmiri

music would cheer him up.

Should we start?

Mr. Niyaz...

How are you? Where are you going?

- l came to see you.

- What's wrong?

- l need some advice from you.

- What for?

lt's regarding a woman.

How to Meet an Older Woman...

Step One...Say Hello...

And what's after hello...

marry me?

ls that right?

No, no, no...that's all wrong...

Step Two...shake hands first.

Step Three, then talk about marriage.

Well, well!

Two lovebirds sitting in the tree?

What's on the card?

How do you tell a lady

you're interested?

l'll show you.

All l know is how to make lists.

- What's it say?

- ""Step One, Say Hello""...huh?

What the hell?

This is all wrong, man...

Then teach me.

l'll show you...it's easy.

Listen...

First you must say 'Hello'.

Very important. 'Hello'.

And l see

you already wrote that part.

But, guess how many times...

- How many?

A thousand.

Get the hell out of here!

You want my expert advice or not?

ln a rush, try the shortcut...just say

""good evening"" fifty times.

Then l'm telling you..

something will happen.

That's because one ""good evening"" is

actually worth fifty ""hellos"".

- Just by saying one ""good evening'?

- Yeah, just one 'Good Evening'.

When you say 'Good Evening'...

...you have to see her reaction.

And if she agrees to shake your hand...

...then she thinks you're hot.

- ls that it?

- Yes, that's it.

- l'll be right back.

- Hurry, the tourism office is closing.

Hello!...Boy, you scared me!

How are you doing?

Haven't seen you in a while.

Everything okay?

- May l borrow your pen?

- Sure. Go ahead.

ls the homework ready?

Almost.

l've been at it for a while.

l came to pick it up.

My boss is waiting downstairs.

Just take it then...

there's only a bit left.

- Where did you get this music?

- ln America, my physics professor...

Now it's my favorite.

- Yeah, it's good.

- l listen to it all the time now.

- l heard this in a video game once.

lt's my absolute favorite.

Dilawar? What's taking so long? l'm

waiting to go to the Tourism Center.

l told you to wait for me

downstairs.

l was but we're late now!

l'm sick of waiting!

You haven't even introduced us yet.

Who is she?

This is Bani...

Bani, meet Zahoor.

- Well, hello there...

- Please sit.

Dilawar basically works for me, and...

...you probably haven't heard, but

l have my own travel agency...

...with houseboats.

...and so,

that's where he works...for me.

So...

is he causing you any trouble?

Oh, not at all.

He's such a smart kid.

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