Zero Motivation Page #4

Anything else?

Yes, Shakedi, I'm here. Are you sitting down? I'm

about to tell you something insane. Listen...

Wow Dafi, you really put it together

Who's next? Liati, right?

Gd forbid. We didn't say that, Rama.

You also want to go to officer training?

Ok, is everyone here?

I am very proud of our Dafi.

Who came here six months ago...

Seven and a half months ago.

She had a lot of difficulties

as we all know, but

she's decided to become a solider with high

motivation, and get rid of bad influences.

And now, she's going to become an

officer to the glory of Israel.

Cheers!

Hold on, I'm not done yet.

I ask that we not only consider

it a personal case for Dafi

but proof that each of us

has a point from which everything starts

and from which

the sky is the limit.

Cheers!

I would also like to say thanks

to Rama, who gave me a chance, and

wrote me a great recommendation.

Cheers!

Yeah cheers.

Just don't get drunk.

Yeah, you can totally get

drunk off of grape juice.

I'll be in my room.

Her dream about being a receptionist

in the city? It's going to come true.

I'll be an officer in the City.

How do you know where you'll be placed?

You know Guy Shefi, the officer?

So, he is transferring there, and he's

going to place me in his department.

Hey, don't you think it's hilarious

that the most spoiled soldier

that has to take a nap,

that won't touch anything,

that showers in her bathing suit, that has

as many allergies and medical excuses

as grains of sand in this desert, is

going to be an officer in the IDF?

So what are you going to be? I'll be the

head officer in a Lt. Colonel's office.

Wow! That's good.

Zohar, did you drink all the wine?

The City cake.

This is Azrieli Mall, above the Ayalon

South interchange. Where will you be?

It's grape juice!

Are you crying?

No, I just hate throwing up.

It's the only thing stopping me from

being an anorexic, bulimic like you.

Here, drink.

Of all the guys on base,

you have to choose him?

It's just coincidence.

He's leaving anyway.

I was saving you from the humiliation.

Episode 2. The Virgin.

C'mon, Irena, when?

At 14.

It's not that bad.

I thought it was a lot earlier. With who?

Some guy. He was my neighbor.

I was 17, on July 17th. Such a nice date.

I did it in the summer between 10th and 11th grade.

In summer camp with one of the camp counselors.

Zohar, what about you?

Zohar. What?

What do you mean, "what"?

I didn't hear what you guys

were talking about. Yeah right.

Greetings. I'm not checking, nagger.

You were just here yesterday.

Can you check?

Not now, okay? Go see her.

C'mon. Check for me. It'll only take

a second. When am I getting discharged?

Dude, I'm the mailman.

If you want, get inside an envelope

and I'll mail you to your mom.

Okay, Okay, come here for a sec. Yogev...

Interesting. They say all the

action is at the kibbutz.

So go there on your way to Russia.

Tell them you came to volunteer.

Is it possible I'm the only

virgin in Southern Israel?

I'm the only virgin in my

kibbutz, that's for sure.

All the ugliest girls have

already done it besides me.

Stop counting us all the time!

Quiet.

We're not going to multiply.

Ne'ama.

It's also clear that I'm the

only virgin on this base.

It's true that everyone here is a slut,

but I dont want to feel that different.

Liat.

Zohar.

God, please make me normal.

I don't want to die a virgin.

I mean, I don't want to die in general, but

Not as a virgin for sure.

Girls, let's pay attention.

I know it's tough and hot and you're tired,

but it's important to pay close attention.

Shira isn't feeling well.

She's going to pass out.

Yeah, Rama. I'm going to pass out.

So, Shira can go sit in the shade.

Can I go with her to the

shade, in case she needs help?

No! If she needs help she'll tell us.

Now that we've taken care of all the

patients, I have something to say.

Hilit and me went through

officer training together.

We went through a lot together

and she's like my twin sister.

Here you go, Hilit.

What am I supposed to do when I see

a suspect approaching the base?

Like... someone with a

fake military ID card?

No, a real suspect. What should I do?

Shout?

When I'm on guarding duty at the front gate, and

the security of the base is my responsibility

and I see a suspect approaching

and all I have at my disposal are

my awareness, my efficiency,

my responsibility for base

security, and my M-16.

What should I do?

Shoot?

Just like that? Shoot?

What if I kill an innocent person?

Just for this kind of situation,

there's a suspect handling procedure.

If a suspect approaches the front

entrance, I first shout: "Stop!"

Repeat after me.

Stop!

He doesn't stop, so I shout:

"Stop and identify yourself!"

"Stop and identify yourself!"

He still doesn't stop.

I shout:
"Stop or I'll shoot!"

Stop or I'll shoot!

Still, he doesn't stop.

Now, pay attention. I cock my

weapon for intimidation purposes.

If he still doesn't stop, I fire into the air.

If he still doesn't stop, I shoot at his legs.

But...

Let me finish, I'll allow questions after.

But what if he does stop?

No, seriously. What if he does stop?

If he does stop, call me.

Now Zohar, because you

ask all these questions.

You have the honor of covering

the first guard shift.

At least you'll be first at something.

What did you say?

Okay, girls. Let's continue.

Answer me, b*tch! Did you say: "At

least be first at something?"

Calm down. I said: "not a

very good twin sister".

Girls! Let's continue.

Would you like some advice?

No.

Some free advice.

I don't want it.

You need a man.

That's the advice.

You need to get laid and

the sooner the better.

"You need to get laid and

the sooner the better."

You're quite the romantic poet.

If you want romance, you need

to pop your cherry first.

Nobody will want you like you are.

An uptight virgin with

cobwebs on her p*ssy.

Wow, you really are disgusting.

How can a girl with so many facial

creams be so disgusting on the outside?

You better listen to me. Find a man, now.

The first man you see, have sex with him

as soon as possible, before it's too late.

Ok, Irena. Maybe in Russia a woman

needs a man to justify her existence.

Drop the old sayings. You're

in the Western World.

Idiot.

Look at an Atlas.

I used to live in the West. Now I'm here.

Gil Mesika and Liran Stoler,

you're at the front entrance.

Rotem Ganon, and Nimrod

Cohen, you're in the open.

Shir Ben Ezra and Adi

Bracha, you're on patrol.

Gal Mizrahi and Shuki Solomon,

you're in the guard tower.

Oleg Kovalski and Ran Saporta,

you're at the rear entrance.

So, who's left?

Just me.

Zohar. Right.

You're protecting the arsenal.

What... by myself? I don't have a partner?

Weaponry is a one man guard position

because it's inside the base.

You stand here, and once an

hour walk around the building.

You're not allowed to

sit or use your phone.

So, what? I'm supposed to stand here

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