Zombie Self-Defense Force

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It's only natural our prime

ministers visit Yasukuni Shrine.

I mean, they should; it's their duty.

The heroes who fought and died

for their nation are enshrined there.

It wouldn't be right if Japan's

leaders didn't pray for them.

U.S. presidents visit Arlington and

nobody complains about it, do they?

What?

Did you say Japan caused other Asian

nations to suffer during World War II?

Don't be ridiculous.

Japan's battles motivated the...

European colonies in Asia to have

courage and fight for their independence.

Japan had its own sense

of justice it served.

To begin with, how could you call

what the U.S. does a fight for justice?

When they fought Japan...

their military bombed Tokyo and

Osaka and killed 900,000 civilians...

then dropped nuclear bombs on Hiroshima

and Nagasaki to kill 300,000 more.

That's a total of 1,200,000

non-military citizens.

It's an outrageous act of massacre.

They more than just ignored

the international law.

I guess they thought it was okay to kill

as many yellow monkeys as they wanted.

Their war against Iraq

makes no sense either.

They say they can't let terrorists get a hold

of the weapons of mass destruction...

so they will demolish the

Hussain administration.

That's not a legitimate reason to wage

a war against an autonomous nation.

Why should Japan send its self-defense

army to serve in such a ridiculous war?

It's not because we wish to

contribute to an international cause.

We're being an apple polisher for the U.S.,

supporting the war just to please them.

Japan wants the U.S. to protect

her in case of emergency.

So, we're obligated to send our forces

to a war that has nothing to do with us.

Well, listen, I'm not trying to

make things sound complicated.

It's really quite simple:

Japan should have an army.

Both North Korea and China have their

missiles aimed at Japan, don't they?

Japan should arm itself with enough

military power against them.

We should defend our own nation.

See how simple it is?

It isn't going to do Japan any good to be

a servant to a war monger like the U.S.

It's not that I want to

talk bad about the U.S.

I hate the wars the U.S. starts, but I

like a lot of things about their culture:

Hamburgers...

rock...

Hollywood movies...

especially...

George A. Romero, a genius.

ZOMBIE DEFENSE ARMY

Zombie Jieitai

What's that?

Martians vs. Cyborgs

What's what?

Wow. It's a UFO.

Far out!

Hey, what's that?

That.

Oh, it's a UFO.

Hey, look!

- Guys, look, it's incredible!

A UFO over Fujiyama. Japan's mystery.

It can't be.

Hey, Kenzaki...

What did you want me

to come out here for?

I hope boss knows what you're doing.

Oh, a UFO.

What? Where?

Idiot!

Falling for a stupid trick.

Brother...

What?

There's a UFO for real.

Huh?

Hello?

She's already booked for the 5th.

Excuse me, let me fix something.

Hello?

Sorry, I'm on location in

the primitive forest now...

and the reception's bad.

Hello? Hello?

What? What's that?

You're kiddin'. For real?

Hey, Akemi, come take a look.

There you go again, trying

to change the subject.

Yes.

What's goin' on?

Captain, could it be an airplane crash?

An airplane?

It's a UFO, a flying saucer,

an alien spaceship.

We all saw it, didn't we?

Minato, contact headquarters.

Roger.

There have been UFO

sightings all over the world.

Captain, let's go to the crash location.

We'll have first contact.

This is the Kibara platoon engaged

in exercise. Headquarters, come in.

We must take care of the corpse first.

This is the Kibara platoon

engaged in exercise.

This is the Kibara platoon

engaged in exercise.

Headquarters, come in.

What's wrong?

Headquarters isn't responding.

What's going on?

I'm not sure.

I don't like it here.

I might dig up someone we've killed before.

Stop complaining and get on with it.

Nothing like shooting up after a murder.

Delicious air, a nice view...

Nothing like it.

A hung corpse is a minor scare.

There's a much more horrible

story about this primitive forest.

Like what?

When World War II was about to end...

a young general refused to surrender...

to the enemy and committed

harakiri in a cave in this forest.

They say his ghost still wanders.

People still see it.

At one point the military collected

the body of the General Kidota.

But some cult group stole it...

place it back in the same cave and

worshipped it as some kind of deity.

Please stop it.

Hayakawa, that's enough.

All your talk about UFO's and ghosts.

But Captain, you saw the UFO too.

Then, why can't ghosts exist too?

It's only an unidentified airplane.

Ghosts exist. I've seen them repeatedly.

Then, will this hung corpse

become a ghost too?

Captain.

What?

This is the Kibara platoon

engaged in exercise.

Headquarters, come in.

Headquarters, come in.

Sakomizu!

It's too late!

His artery's been cut!

He's dead.

Am I doing too much heroin?

It's crazy. I must be hallucinating.

Harada returned to life.

Stop kidding.

Brother, you're not hallucinating!

I can see him too.

Shut up already!

Did you steal my heroin?

It hurts.

How dare you, you bastard!

A yakuza with a finger cut

off isn't cool these days!

Damn it, Hiroshi, where are you going?

I'm not finished with you

about stealing my heroin.

What family are you hoodlums with?

Were you ordered to assault me,

Kenzaki of the Shichu Group?

I've had enough already.

I'm afraid of falling down and

being bitten by weird bugs.

I like that face.

Like a fairy flying in the primitive forest.

It's great.

Now, let's take the jacket off, shall we?

Hey, hurry up.

I'm sorry.

Excuse me, let me fix her hair.

That spray stinks!

I'm sorry.

Mr. Nishiyama, I don't like her.

Fire her.

Hitomi, please be reasonable.

Hey, stop it already!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

You look pretty when you're angry too.

Okay, Hitomi, stay there and

slowly turn toward the camera.

What? Who's that?

Oh, excuse me...

We're having a photo shoot.

Can you please step aside?

Ms Hitomi...

Something's wrong with those people.

I said, you're in the way.

We've got to run.

I know, but my legs are paralyzed!

So, you quit being a salary man and

now run a resort inn with your wife.

What a happy picture.

But I'm left alone.

I can't imagine living

without you, Mr. Yamada.

I love you.

I really love you.

Oh no, what are you doing?

Don't be unreasonable.

You see, I borrowed money from...

my wife's parents to put down

payment for this building.

So, things aren't that simple, you know.

So what?

I went to the hospital.

I'm four months.

You mean, it's mine?

It must be a girl.

I think I'll name her Tamami.

Listen...

If you don't leave your wife and marry me...

I'm gonna sue your ass!

You can't.

I'll tell them you exploited

your position as my superior...

and forced me to sleep with you.

I'll squeeze money out of you for

psychological damage and child support...

and ruin your life.

That sounded awful.

Akemi, are you all right? Akemi?

Hey, Akemi, hang in there!

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