Zookeeper Page #2

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I'll own it.

Seeing him tonight and up there

in his little uniform and...

So cute.

I don't know, it just reminds me

that he has so much potential.

You deserve a great girl in your life.

But you gotta understand

how the world works.

What's wrong with being a zookeeper?

Nothing, you're the best, okay?

It's just...

Look.

Offer's still on the table

to work at the dealership.

Okay? Because here's you,

the grass, mine's greener.

Dave.

No, I'm serious.

You could make

your annual salary in a month.

That is how you get a girl

like Stephanie.

Come on, this could be

a whole new life for you.

Think about it.

Yeah.

Floyd, right?

I hope my being here doesn't

make you uncomfortable.

I'm not uncomfortable.

So comfortable.

Ah! Ah.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

No, it's fine, it's fine. I got it.

Oh, God, it's barbed.

Okay, so, hey, how you doing?

Still in design school?

No, no, I've been out for a while.

Okay.

I'm a buyer for Saks now.

Oh, that's good.

I see you've been busy.

Lead Zookeeper.

Yes, yeah. You know,

I got the bump last year.

They don't usually until

you've been here 10 years.

I'm only been here eight.

It's basically like getting a black belt

after only a month of karate.

Or mastering a, uh...

Let's see. Um.

That's all I can think of right now.

Just karate, go with that.

Yeah.

So it's good.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's good.

Oh, Griffin, you're bleeding.

No, no.

Yes, yes, you are.

Come here.

Let me get it, come...

I'm not gonna bite.

There.

There you go.

Now you're all better.

Anyway, Robin was talking about

wanting to see

the animals tomorrow,

and we're wondering what are the

odds of getting a private tour?

Not good. Not good at all.

There's a sign-up sheet,

a pretty elaborate waiver.

And you'd have to go through the main

office, which is closed. They close at 4.

Yeah, doesn't sound good.

It's not.

Okay, so we're on our own.

Well, it was really nice to see you.

Okay.

You know?

Bye, Floyd.

Bye, Griffin.

Dave's right.

I gotta get out of this zoo.

- Closing up shop again, Grif?

- Yeah, just had to clean up.

Meeting.

Let's do this. Come on.

What? Oh, nothing.

I wasn't cleaning my basement.

Okay. Here we go.

If this is another eating intervention,

I'm not hearing it.

This is my ideal weight.

Ask the vet.

Come on. Pop the latch.

Yeah, let's go. We want a good seat.

- What do you think this is?

- Am I psychic?

We got the call the same time.

Take it down a peg, just asking.

Bernie.

Hey, we having a meeting.

You wanna come?

You don't.

Don't know why I asked.

Come on.

We're gonna have a meeting.

I'm excited about this.

- I wonder.

- What's going on?

All right.

I got a very busy schedule.

This better be good.

You sleep 20 hours a day, Joe.

I think you'll live.

Okay, things I didn't want

the group to know.

Look, we got a problem.

Remember that chick that broke Griffin's heart?

Well, she is back.

What?

What, Stephanie's back? Whoa.

This is not good.

Griffin's thinking of quitting.

We can't let that happen.

He can't leave.

He's the best zookeeper we ever had.

He keeps my hay fresh and he rubs

lotion on me when I get dry skin.

He makes papier-mach antelopes

for me to attack.

And inside? Muffins.

Oh, I like muffins.

Can I get a "Hey now"?

Plus, he's the only human

who recognizes me as an equal.

In your dreams.

Thumbs, baby.

It's all about the thumbs.

What do you call this?

That's a paw. You can't grab

a coffee mug with that.

You can't wear mittens.

It's useless.

I'm so blessed.

Sorry. One more look.

Griffin saved my life.

Right, I made my decision.

We're not helping Griffin.

Really? Because I remember a time

when you needed help with females.

Namely me.

Remember, you were shy.

You sent your buddy over

to test the waters to make sure.

And then you would, like,

follow me around.

I'd look at you,

you'd look away embarrassed.

Okay. We're helping Griffin.

Now, how do you propose we do it?

Animals are experts on mating.

We tell him how to get her back.

No.

Nobody's talking to Griffin.

You know the code.

We don't ever talk to humans.

You don't break the code,

idiot.

Besides, Griffin's got

no shot at this girl.

That is why you're single, Bruce.

You have no sense of romance.

Herbivore.

Maybe it's possible to help

Griffin without talking to him.

The girl's gonna be here tomorrow

and she's interested.

And how do you know that?

She said, and I quote, "Griffin

has potential." Potential.

All we have to do is make him

look like a hero in front of her.

Then zip-zang, Griffin gets

the girl, stays at the zoo,

everybody wins.

Awesome. We got a plan.

Whoa!

Hey, what's this now?

Wait. You're not

a zoo animal.

Excuse me. Am I standing in the zoo?

Then I'm a zoo animal.

Don't get mad at us because no kid

says, "Mommy, I wanna see a crow."

Okay, that's the captivity talking.

Enough. You've all made your

point, we'll help Griffin.

But no one breaks the code.

- Understood?

- No breaking the code.

Okay, we're helping a human.

This is big.

You started your diet today.

He's not even chewing.

Take a breath.

What, I'm stress-eating.

Stop looking at me!

Much better than the tire we had.

Sorry about that, by the way.

You're gonna enjoy this

a lot more.

I don't know. I made it,

I drilled it and put a ball in there.

Get that baby spinning,

have it land in a circle.

What? Winner, winner,

chicken dinner.

I think you'll like it.

There. There you go.

I'm not sure, kind of like a disco ball.

Look at that. Whoa.

Party at Bernie's. it's fun.

It's gonna be good.

It sucks being alone here, buddy.

I know.

All right.

Okay.

See you tomorrow, Bern.

I don't know.

She just intimidates me, you know?

But you know me.

I don't like to talk about it.

Hey, Griffin.

Hey, Grif.

Hey.

We were gonna

go see the rhinos,

and we were wondering

if you could show us the way.

Uh... You know what?

I can't right now.

I'm feeding the giraffe.

She's eating carrots.

Okay.

Here they come.

See the thumb?

Yeah, yeah, I see it.

Time to make Griffin

look like a hero.

Here we go. Get it together.

All right, here you go.

Anybody looking? No.

Oh, my God.

Joe.

Joe, over here.

Please. This way.

Get them out of there, I'll distract him.

Got it.

Joe.

Oh, crap.

Get in.

Oh, God.

Joe.

Joe? Joe.

- Oy.

- Joe.

Joe.

Joe.

Joe.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Huh?

Oh, I mean:

Wait a sec.

Aah!

Griffin, I know this is weird.

Griffin.

Lion secure, going home.

Haven't you learned anything

from being under my tutelage?

No. No.

Mommy, look, it's going to eat.

Come on.

Yeah, it's on, but, like, on reverse.

Yeah, you should definitely go.

He, uh...

Wasn't saying anything, did he?

What's going on?

J' Down by the river N

He's a good one, yeah.

How much do they weigh?

What's up?

Good night, Griffin.

Good night, Manny. Heading home?

If by "home"

you mean Uncle Bosoms,

I'll be there in the back,

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