Zookeeper Page #5

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What did you just say?

In the wild, I would never let a rival

dictate the outcome of a situation.

"In the wild"?

You were born in captivity, Joe.

In this very zoo.

I bottle-fed you.

"In the wild." You've never been

in the wild a day in your life.

I could walk 25 yards

and buy a balloon on a stick.

"Wild."

You're missing the point.

Whether you're taking out a rival

or taking down prey,

it's not just the attack,

it's about everything leading up to it.

The females in the pride,

they do the hunting.

We do.

Thank you.

And the fighting.

Mm.

Okay, you know what?

Are you giving the advice?

If you are, I don't need to be here.

Yeah, you heard me, I will walk.

Relax, Joe.

The best way for a male

to attract a female

is to be seen with another female.

If he's going to the wedding,

he needs a date.

That's it. Good night.

Find a date, sweetie.

I'll do that.

So basically you're using me.

Not basically, I am.

This is very junior high,

you do realize that.

It is, I admit it,

I am not proud.

I don't think you should

go through this.

No, I do, I definitely do.

I don't know.

You can't remember the last time

you went on a date.

This isn't a real date. If I'm gonna go on a

fake date, I was hoping I'd fake date a doctor.

Or somebody French.

Please.

If you do this for me, I will give you

half my lunch for the next three years.

You know what?

And this, to sweeten it.

That's a signing bonus, if you do.

Take it, look at that.

All right, I'll go.

But I'm calling you

Francois Dubois, cardiologist.

You can call me Betty,

as long as you're going.

Hey, buddy.

Got a little something for you.

Happy birthday...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's out. it's out.

I'm sorry.

I was just messing with you.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I mean,

don't do that to me.

It's a gelatin cake.

Kate made it for you.

She's a good lady.

Oh, my heart's racing, man.

Was that on a plate?

No, you're good.

Thank Kate for me.

That's it?

You're all birthday-ed out?

I'm sure you got things to do.

Actually, we do.

How are we gonna pull this off?

I don't exactly blend in.

It's simple.

We just tell people

we're going to a costume party.

No one's gonna believe that.

Maybe not at first.

But when you put on this shirt

and talk, they will.

Griffin, I'd hug you, but it's

fifty-fifty I'd crush your spine.

You know what?

Fist bump works.

Ah! My wrist.

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

Payback, baby. Come on.

Aw...

Come on, let's go. Let's go.

Can I drive?

No, you cannot.

Please?

Sorry, Bern, not happening.

Let me talk to 'em

Shawty had them

Apple-bottom jeans

Boots with the fur

The whole club

Was looking at her

Look at that up there.

She hit the flo'

Next thing you know

Shawty got low, low, low

Low, low, low

Them baggy sweat pants

I'm so alive.

She turned around

And gave that big booty a slap

She hit the flo'

Next thing you know

Shawty got low, low, low

Low, low, low

Shawty get low

Ain't the same when

it's up that close

J" Make it rain

I'm making it snow J'

Work the pole

I got the bank roll

Take it easy, man.

No problem.

Here it comes, you ready?

Apple-bottom jeans

Jeans

Boots with the fur

Fur

The whole club

Was looking at her

She hit the flo'

She hit the floor

Next thing you know

Shawty got low, low, low

Shawty got low, low, low

Low, low, low Low, low, low

I Come on .J'.J'

Shut up.

Hi, y'all, welcome to Friday's.

Can I interest you in... ?

Yeah, we were just

at a costume party. Uh...

Zookeeper.

Gorilla.

Preppy gorilla.

We noticed there was already

a gorilla so we were like:

"You know what? Let's put wings on

this loser train, get our Friday's on."

- You look so freaking real.

- He does, yeah.

Can I try on your head?

Yeah, no, l... You know, uh...

It's all hooked on

with wires and whatnot.

And stink. This thing

hasn't been washed in years.

I think the last guy who wore it

might have thrown up.

Ugh.

Yeah.

Can I get your order?

I'm just gonna go with the

baby backs and some fries.

And for you?

Thirty oranges.

You're unbelievable

No, Bernie, that's ice. That's cold.

Should've warned you.

It's called a brain freeze.

Gonna get worse before

it gets better. Ride it. Ride it.

Gonna subside in 10 seconds.

Yeah, that's ice, but it's deadly. Deadly.

Being one

Is more than I've ever known

But this time I realize

I'm gonna shoot through

And leave you

We'd like to send that table of

secretaries a basket of zucchini fries.

You got it.

You're unbelievable

Yeah.

You're so unbelievable

My eyes.

Yeah.

You're unbelievable

Baby, we can talk all night

I'm so glad I met you.

I told you everything

I possibly can

I There 's nothing left

Inside of here .J"J"

Penny for your thoughts?

Just hanging out,

enjoying your company.

So there's talk

you might leave the zoo.

I was just upset. Thought that's what

I needed to do to get Stephanie back.

No, Bernie,

I'm afraid you're stuck with me.

I wanna thank you.

Tonight you gave me

more than I could ever ask for.

You're very welcome, Bernie.

You're a good friend.

Hell, you're my best friend.

Uh-oh.

I just made this weird, didn't I?

No, no, not at all.

Okay, good.

Can I try on your watch?

Now it's getting weird.

What are you doing out?

Someone can see you.

No, no one's around.

We were worried about you.

Tell me you're not wearing that

to the wedding.

No, no, I got an outfit.

All set with the other female?

Got it covered,

Kate's coming with me.

Oh, good choice.

Thanks.

Joe, anything else for Griffin?

What would I know?

You're the expert on everything.

God, your mother ruined you.

She did not.

Your mother ruined you.

Has anyone got a game

plan for the ex-boyfriend?

Ooh. We forgot about him.

Look. I couldn't help overhearing.

You wanna intimidate a rival?

You gotta do this.

And if that doesn't work,

assume attack position.

Okay, if I was in a pond

that would be my go-to move.

I respect that.

You better take me with you.

Bernardo.

Oh, my God, it's Bernie.

Hey, that's great.

- Bernie, you made it.

- All right, all right.

Let's not make

a big deal out of this.

Here's what I'm thinking.

Take me along, you know,

just in case you need some backup.

Bern, I gotta do this on my own.

I'll sit at another table.

You won't even know I'm there.

I've got unbelievable mingling skills.

Bernie, you're a gorilla.

Wow.

I can't believe

you just went there.

All right, fine.

But if you get in a jam, call us.

Will do, all right?

We're gonna need

your cell phone.

What?

Hand it over.

Fine. Here you go.

Thanks. Thanks, guys.

All right, everybody back to your

enclosures before the zoo opens.

Where did you get the watch?

Don't you worry about it.

Venom?

I got you.

I've got you covered.

Sure this is gonna help

with the ladies?

Hey, Venom,

I need to ask you a favor...

Franky.

Venom, I need to borrow your car.

Absolutely.

Gonna need your keys.

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