Zookeeper Page #4
but sometimes we need
to put the past behind us
and look towards the future,
you know?
I guess sometimes
we all get stuck living in the past.
Yeah.
Look, is there anything else
I can do for you?
Can you get me my view back?
You know, it's not my call.
I miss it, you know?
Seeing the world.
I used to be able
to climb high enough
that I could just catch a glimpse
of a few buildings.
Now all I see is cement.
I wish I could help you, Bernie, but...
I mean, that enclosure's gone.
It's a...
It's where the snack bar is now.
All right.
Do you mind if I ask you
a question?
Anything.
Is T.G.l. Friday's
as incredible as it looks?
It's pretty good.
Your girl's gonna be at the party.
Here's how we get her.
First, answer me this, what do you
think attracts a female to a male?
Looks, success...
Ehh. I'm gonna stop you
right there.
It's pee-pee.
Sorry?
Pee-pee. Smell, scent, chemistry, pheromones.
Bong-ba-da-bong.
Which is why you have to learn
to protect your territory.
Turn everything into a home game.
There's gotta be another way.
There's not. Now,
don't be stingy with the magic.
Watch and learn.
Notice the full extension
of my lift leg.
The proud, soaring arc of my stream.
Yeah.
See how I raised the bar
from the last pee mark.
And voil.
You're up, sunshine.
You know,
I really don't feel like doing this.
The zoo is closed.
You're fine.
All right.
Not there. That's my spot.
Hey, don't give me attitude.
This will help you
at the dinner tonight.
Right here. Fine.
All right, unzip and make it rain.
Okay, you gotta look away.
Such a delicate flower.
Shut it down. Shut it down.
Kate's coming.
What?
I can't.
Snap it.
Be a man. Snap it.
Hey, Griffin,
Rebecca and I are going...
- Hey.
- Whoa!
Hey.
It's gonna be
hard to unsee that.
I'm sorry about that, I...
You know what happened...
The wolf got stung
by one of Venom's Scorpions.
And I was taking him
to the infirmary
and then he started limping bad.
Oh, and the urine will
neutralize the poison.
Exactly, exactly, yes, yes.
And that's why I did it.
I was just peeing on him,
for his health.
Okay, when you finish, I'll give him
an antihistamine just to be safe.
Sounds good.
All right, go ahead.
Hm?
Go ahead. Soak it.
Make sure you get
the whole area.
Sorry.
I have to.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Excuse me, sir.
You do know that we have a functioning
restroom not 20 feet from here.
Oh, you do, good, that sounds good.
Yeah, that's nice.
Have a good evening.
You too.
Hey, how's it going?
Good.
I've set up my territory, I'm about
to show Stephanie my pudding cup.
What?
Yeah, thank you.
Pretty great party, huh?
Yeah, Dave goes all out.
He really does.
Listen, Stephanie, I was thinking,
weddings can be weird
if you're alone and you...
Oh, God.
Oh. Oh.
No, no, don't.
No, it's not you.
It's, it's...
Oh, it's my ex, I broke up with him,
but he showed up here anyway.
Sweetness.
Funny story.
So I go to the fridge to
replenish the old electrolytes
after some cross-training,
and there,
taped to the door, next to the
picture of that kayak I'm getting,
was the invitation to this wedding
that you wanted me to go to.
So here I be.
No, no, no. Gale,
this is an old friend of mine.
Griffin. Actually,
my ex-boyfriend, Griffin.
Griffin, this is
my ex-boyfriend, Gale.
What's up?
Everything.
So listen.
I know we had some stuff,
but I'm making changes.
I sat down with my life coach
and I cleared out everything
except for you.
So suddenly I'm more important
than learning the banjo?
Griffin, you wanted to ask me
something. Remember?
It's very nice meeting you.
That's what people tell me.
What was I supposed to do?
Her ex-boyfriend showed up.
Nothing, fleeing was the right call.
Fleeing is the new fighting.
I know we flee,
but humans are at
the top of the food chain,
so we should ask Joe.
Why are you concerned with
what the stupid lion would do?
Do you realize that if monkeys'
canine teeth were a little bigger,
we'd hold the title,
King of the Jungle?
Let me ask you something,
can the King of the Jungle do this?
Uh... He's behind me.
I saw him mid-flip.
Cut her from the herd.
Cut her from the herd.
That's a good call, Joe.
As long as this other guy's in the
picture, you ain't got a chance.
Next time you see her,
get her alone.
That's how you'll get your girl.
That's how you gonna get your girl
That's how you gonna get your girl
Yeah, yeah
That's how you get a girl
That's how you get a, get a girl
Just focus on the lyrics.
You know what?
It's worth a shot, I'll try it tomorrow.
I basically had
the same advice Joe did,
but he kind of
stole my thunder.
- Coming, Barry?
- Okay, you're not listening.
I gotta be honest,
my legs fell asleep
when we sat down.
I think I'm here overnight.
Hey. Hey, look, my bus was late.
I need a bike.
Sorry, but that wedding party
just cleaned me out.
Yeah, that's my group.
Please, you got to have something.
We're gonna play you a song
A little bit of rock 'n' roll, yeah
You're gonna let yourself go
That's right.
Ha, ha, ha.
Cut her from the herd.
How weak.
Hey, Stephanie.
Whoa, whoa.
- That's how you're playing it?
- Stay away from her.
- Share the road.
- I'm not good at sharing.
We're cookin' tonight
Just keep on tokin'
This is not right.
Smokin'
Stop it, this is...
Very dangerous out here.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Get off the road!
Everybody rock 'n' roll
You've got nothing to lose
Just the rhythm and blues
That's all, yeah
We're gonna feel okay
We'll pick you up
And take you away
Get down tonight
Smokin' smokin'
We're cookin' tonight
Just keep on tokin'
Smokin' smokin'
Move it.
Coming through.
Whoa...
Taste the heel.
Hey, easy.
Taste it.
Stop it.
I will not get the deposit
if you do that.
Oh, sweet nanny,
that is painful.
Oh, Jesus. Aah!
That is Fiberglas. Stop it. Ow!
Oh, Jesus.
Hey.
Oh, Grif.
You're like a daredevil.
So listen, I've been thinking...
I was thinking about...
Hold on a second.
Everything just turned light blue.
My body's starting to shut down.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm good.
Okay.
I was thinking about the wedding.
I was wondering if maybe you needed
someone to go with you, that I...
Oh, look, Griffin,
I need to tell you something.
Yeah?
I'm gonna go to the wedding
with Gale.
He was supposed to come with me
before we broke up,
and we had this long talk
and I'm really confused right now.
I hope you understand.
And I hope you understand that
that is fantastic. it's better this way.
Really?
Yes, yeah. Yes, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
All right. Bye.
Get ready to experience
the hail of Gale.
Cherokee style.
You said to out her
from the herd, I did.
You see, this is what happens.
I should've never listened to you.
We didn't tell you to back down.
Stick to your cozy life
because take it from me,
you would never make it in the wild.
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"Zookeeper" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/zookeeper_24043>.
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