Zookeeper Page #4

Synopsis: A group of zoo animals decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zoo keeper find love -- without opting to leave his current job for something more illustrious.
Director(s): Frank Coraci
Production: Columbia Pictures
  1 win & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.2
Metacritic:
30
Rotten Tomatoes:
14%
PG
Year:
2011
102 min
$80,360,866
Website
1,941 Views


but sometimes we need

to put the past behind us

and look towards the future,

you know?

I guess sometimes

we all get stuck living in the past.

Yeah.

Look, is there anything else

I can do for you?

Can you get me my view back?

You know, it's not my call.

I miss it, you know?

Seeing the world.

I used to be able

to climb high enough

that I could just catch a glimpse

of a few buildings.

Now all I see is cement.

I wish I could help you, Bernie, but...

I mean, that enclosure's gone.

It's a...

It's where the snack bar is now.

All right.

Do you mind if I ask you

a question?

Anything.

Is T.G.l. Friday's

as incredible as it looks?

It's pretty good.

Your girl's gonna be at the party.

Here's how we get her.

First, answer me this, what do you

think attracts a female to a male?

Looks, success...

Ehh. I'm gonna stop you

right there.

It's pee-pee.

Sorry?

Pee-pee. Smell, scent, chemistry, pheromones.

Bong-ba-da-bong.

Which is why you have to learn

to protect your territory.

Turn everything into a home game.

There's gotta be another way.

There's not. Now,

don't be stingy with the magic.

Watch and learn.

Notice the full extension

of my lift leg.

The proud, soaring arc of my stream.

Yeah.

See how I raised the bar

from the last pee mark.

And voil.

You're up, sunshine.

You know,

I really don't feel like doing this.

The zoo is closed.

You're fine.

All right.

Not there. That's my spot.

Hey, don't give me attitude.

This will help you

at the dinner tonight.

Right here. Fine.

All right, unzip and make it rain.

Okay, you gotta look away.

Such a delicate flower.

Shut it down. Shut it down.

Kate's coming.

What?

I can't.

Snap it.

Be a man. Snap it.

Hey, Griffin,

Rebecca and I are going...

- Hey.

- Whoa!

Hey.

It's gonna be

hard to unsee that.

I'm sorry about that, I...

You know what happened...

The wolf got stung

by one of Venom's Scorpions.

And I was taking him

to the infirmary

and then he started limping bad.

Oh, and the urine will

neutralize the poison.

Exactly, exactly, yes, yes.

And that's why I did it.

I was just peeing on him,

for his health.

Okay, when you finish, I'll give him

an antihistamine just to be safe.

Sounds good.

All right, go ahead.

Hm?

Go ahead. Soak it.

Make sure you get

the whole area.

Sorry.

I have to.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Excuse me, sir.

You do know that we have a functioning

restroom not 20 feet from here.

Oh, you do, good, that sounds good.

Yeah, that's nice.

Have a good evening.

You too.

Hey, how's it going?

Good.

I've set up my territory, I'm about

to show Stephanie my pudding cup.

What?

Yeah, thank you.

Pretty great party, huh?

Yeah, Dave goes all out.

He really does.

Listen, Stephanie, I was thinking,

weddings can be weird

if you're alone and you...

Oh, God.

Oh. Oh.

No, no, don't.

No, it's not you.

It's, it's...

Oh, it's my ex, I broke up with him,

but he showed up here anyway.

Sweetness.

Funny story.

So I go to the fridge to

replenish the old electrolytes

after some cross-training,

and there,

taped to the door, next to the

picture of that kayak I'm getting,

was the invitation to this wedding

that you wanted me to go to.

So here I be.

No, no, no. Gale,

this is an old friend of mine.

Griffin. Actually,

my ex-boyfriend, Griffin.

Griffin, this is

my ex-boyfriend, Gale.

What's up?

Everything.

So listen.

I know we had some stuff,

but I'm making changes.

I sat down with my life coach

and I cleared out everything

except for you.

So suddenly I'm more important

than learning the banjo?

Griffin, you wanted to ask me

something. Remember?

It's very nice meeting you.

That's what people tell me.

What was I supposed to do?

Her ex-boyfriend showed up.

Nothing, fleeing was the right call.

Fleeing is the new fighting.

I know we flee,

but humans are at

the top of the food chain,

so we should ask Joe.

Why are you concerned with

what the stupid lion would do?

Do you realize that if monkeys'

canine teeth were a little bigger,

we'd hold the title,

King of the Jungle?

Let me ask you something,

can the King of the Jungle do this?

Uh... He's behind me.

I saw him mid-flip.

Cut her from the herd.

Cut her from the herd.

That's a good call, Joe.

As long as this other guy's in the

picture, you ain't got a chance.

Next time you see her,

get her alone.

That's how you'll get your girl.

That's how you gonna get your girl

That's how you gonna get your girl

Yeah, yeah

That's how you get a girl

That's how you get a, get a girl

Just focus on the lyrics.

You know what?

It's worth a shot, I'll try it tomorrow.

I basically had

the same advice Joe did,

but he kind of

stole my thunder.

- Coming, Barry?

- Okay, you're not listening.

I gotta be honest,

my legs fell asleep

when we sat down.

I think I'm here overnight.

Hey. Hey, look, my bus was late.

I need a bike.

Sorry, but that wedding party

just cleaned me out.

Yeah, that's my group.

Please, you got to have something.

We're gonna play you a song

A little bit of rock 'n' roll, yeah

You're gonna let yourself go

That's right.

Ha, ha, ha.

Cut her from the herd.

How weak.

Hey, Stephanie.

Whoa, whoa.

- That's how you're playing it?

- Stay away from her.

- Share the road.

- I'm not good at sharing.

We're cookin' tonight

Just keep on tokin'

This is not right.

Smokin'

Stop it, this is...

Very dangerous out here.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Get off the road!

Everybody rock 'n' roll

You've got nothing to lose

Just the rhythm and blues

That's all, yeah

We're gonna feel okay

We'll pick you up

And take you away

Get down tonight

Smokin' smokin'

We're cookin' tonight

Just keep on tokin'

Smokin' smokin'

Move it.

Coming through.

Whoa...

Taste the heel.

Hey, easy.

Taste it.

Stop it.

I will not get the deposit

if you do that.

Oh, sweet nanny,

that is painful.

Oh, Jesus. Aah!

That is Fiberglas. Stop it. Ow!

Oh, Jesus.

Hey.

Oh, Grif.

You're like a daredevil.

So listen, I've been thinking...

I was thinking about...

Hold on a second.

Everything just turned light blue.

My body's starting to shut down.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm good.

Okay.

I was thinking about the wedding.

I was wondering if maybe you needed

someone to go with you, that I...

Oh, look, Griffin,

I need to tell you something.

Yeah?

I'm gonna go to the wedding

with Gale.

He was supposed to come with me

before we broke up,

and we had this long talk

and I'm really confused right now.

I hope you understand.

And I hope you understand that

that is fantastic. it's better this way.

Really?

Yes, yeah. Yes, yeah.

Okay.

All right.

All right. Bye.

Get ready to experience

the hail of Gale.

Cherokee style.

You said to out her

from the herd, I did.

You see, this is what happens.

I should've never listened to you.

We didn't tell you to back down.

Stick to your cozy life

because take it from me,

you would never make it in the wild.

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Nick Bakay

Nicholas "Nick" Bakay ( born October 8, 1959) is an American writer, actor, voice actor, comedian and sportscaster. He is known as the voice of Salem Saberhagen on ABC/The WB's Sabrina, the Teenage Witch and Sabrina: The Animated Series, and Norbert Beaver on The Angry Beavers. He played Karl on the Fox series 'Til Death as well as serving as a producer of the show until it was canceled by Fox. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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