Zoology

1

NEW PEOPLE FILM COMPANY

With the financial support

from the Ministry of Culture of Russia

If my memory serves me right,

it happened in the zoo in Rostov.

What happened there?

They bought some low-quality food

for the animals.

The food came

from a disreputable supplier.

A disciplinary board

investigated the deal.

- Just imagine if they investigate us.

- Oh, man!

- You want more mayo?

- Yeah. It's too hot.

Enough, enough!

Did we resolve this issue

with the live food in the terrarium?

That's not my job.

I've got nothing to do with this thing.

- Who's in charge of terrariums?

- How the hell should I know?

Holy sh*t, what's wrong with her?

Natasha?

Hey, what's wrong with you, beauty?

- Did she faint?

- Yeah, sure. Why would she?

Natasha!

Hey, Natasha.

What's going on here?

- Natasha? Hey, you!

- Look, girls, she turned white.

- Natasha!

- Check her pulse.

- Are you all right, Natasha?

- Natasha. Wait.

- Kate, I am calling an ambulance!

- Do it. Natasha!

- Natasha!

- No smelling salts! Let's use perfume.

Girls, I don't think she's breathing!

- Call an ambulance!

- Dial 112!

- Natasha!

- Check her pulse!

- Natasha! Come on, wake up!

- I think I can feel her pulse.

Everything's going to be fine.

Don't shake her like that!

Here we are. I think she is alive.

ZOOLOGY:

- Natasha, are you hungry?

- Yes, Mum, I am a bit hungry.

Dinner's ready. I cooked some burgers.

You love them.

Thanks, Mum.

Good.

You know,

I heard some terrible news today.

What is it?

They arrested a woman

somewhere in Europe.

She worked at a zoo.

For several years,

she's been secretly

sinning with an ape.

Mum, why do you watch

these TV shows?

Why not switch channels?

They're all crazy over there in Europe.

They deny Christianity.

As a result, they fall into heresy.

Why is Barsik yelling?

- I locked him up in the room.

- Why?

He's been running around like crazy.

- Maybe he's sick?

- He can't tell spring from autumn.

Barsik is no good for that.

He doesn't get excited

about spring anymore. He's too old.

Why old?

- Cats usually live long.

- Well...

- Good afternoon.

- Hello.

Could you recommend me

any painkillers?

Well, where does it hurt?

I don't feel well. I am asthenic.

That was quite a situation we had.

- I think it was food poisoning.

- No way. She doesn't eat anything.

- Maybe she's pregnant.

- What? Are you crazy?

- Why? I'm serious.

- Are you kidding?

Who's the father, then?

I've never seen her with a man.

- She's never had anyone. No way.

- And what if...

- What if she's really sick?

- She is nuts.

Come on. It was just food poisoning.

Nothing else.

What if she's got cancer?

You're so mean!

- Can I have more tea?

- Yeah, sure.

Remember how they used to treat

patients? You can see it in old movies.

You stuck out your tongue,

then a doctor looked at your eyes.

And he could immediately diagnose you.

But what are they doing now?

Remember how they used to hit you

on the knee with a small hammer?

They don't do it anymore.

"What's the problem? I see."

And they prescribe you pills.

Let me examine you now.

- Did you try any home treatments?

- Home treatments? Well, I...

When it started to ache, I applied

some ointment to my lower back.

Just for the night. And this is

what I saw the following morning.

This is what I got.

OK, you can put your clothes back on.

Well, you will have to have an X-ray.

I'd like to take a look at the image

before discussing the treatment.

Natalia Nikolaevna.

- I'll have to have an X-ray.

- Yes, definitely.

Once we have the X-ray, we can choose

the doctor who'll treat you.

- Are you done with me?

- Yes.

- May I?

- Yes, come in.

- Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon.

- I've got a request for an X-ray here.

- Let me take a look.

Well...

- It's your lower back, right?

- Yes.

When did you have your last X-ray?

I don't remember.

A long time ago. That was probably

back at school when we had a check-up.

Back at school? Let us conclude

that it's your first X-ray then.

Please, go to the back room.

You'll find a chair there.

Please, take off your clothes

and put on the apron and the belt,

then lie down on the couch.

Please, let me know when you're ready.

Oh, my... It doesn't hurt, does it?

- Do I have to put on this thing?

- Yes, definitely.

- I have to put it on.

- Take off your clothes and put that on.

- Is everything fine?

- Yes, I just need another second.

I'm almost ready.

OK.

- Please, lie down with your head to me.

- OK.

All right.

I'm ready.

We can't do it like that.

I can't X-ray you this way.

- Let's pull this thing off.

- Please, don't.

- We have to. Let me do it.

- No.

Please.

Let me do it.

I see.

You should've told me right away.

All right.

Here's what we are going to do.

Curve your back.

Yes, that's better this way.

Could you hold it so it doesn't wiggle?

Way to go. Thanks.

And you shouldn't move, either.

OK? Don't move.

We are done.

You can put on your clothes.

It wasn't that bad, was it?

- It's OK.

- I'll prepare my report in a week.

- Here you go.

- Why so long?

Could you probably do it faster? Please.

Please. I really need it.

Come back tomorrow.

- I will prepare it for you.

- Wonderful.

I'm Natasha.

- Petya.

- Nice to meet you.

I work till 7:
00pm.

You can come in the afternoon.

- I'll be here after work.

- Good.

- Thank you. Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Hello.

Come here.

Just a second.

Here you go. Good boy.

Here you go.

Are you OK?

You beautiful girl.

Good, isn't it? You like it?

Good? You beautiful girl.

Yeah, you are beautiful.

Yes, you are.

Why are you so shy today?

Are you on a diet?

Hello to you, too.

Hello, my darlings. Good morning.

Good morning to you, too.

My darlings. You are all beautiful.

- A home for swans.

- A pond?

Checking. You're right.

Nah, I think it's a lake. Four letters,

starting with an L. L-A-K-E.

- A female hippo. Seven letters.

- Natasha!

Her skin is almost scaly.

I don't want to bring it on myself.

She's more like a fat, bald hamster.

- Hey, girls, did you see my calculator?

- No.

- You left it on your table yesterday.

- It's nowhere around.

I can't find it.

Watch me.

Look around. I saw it yesterday.

- It's not here.

- It isn't. Weird.

- Did you put it away?

- Oh, I put it in the drawer. I forgot.

Why? I never put my calculator in there.

- Oh, my God!

- Here comes your calculator!

It's over there! Grab it!

- Come on! For crying out loud!

- Look, there's another one!

Grab your calculator.

You were looking for it, weren't you?

- You two are so mean to me!

- Look at this cutie.

- Please, stop it!

- You bought them.

But no animal wants them.

You can do whatever you want

with them.

- Natasha.

- Yeah?

You know, there's something

I want to tell you.

They say there is a woman

in our neighbourhood

who is possessed.

How do they know?

Well, you can't talk to her

or look her in the eye.

And how do they know

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes