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This Is the End Page #5
That's it. It feels so
much more safe now, guys.
It's nice here.
Should we spoon it?
Yeah, you want to?
No!
Want to go...
Dick to butt?
No.
My butt to you
and then Jay.
I don't want to butt
to dick to anything.
Are you docking into me?
You're doing tip to me?
Or what
are you doing?
Should we go butt to butt or dick to...
Seth and I are
gonna go ass to ass.
Do you want to go
front to front?
No, I'm fine
just going d*cks up.
D*cks up?
to ass. You know what?
I'm going
Scarface-style.
Both of you guys.
Wait, yeah.
There we go.
Yeah.
This is the best way.
Good night, boys.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night, guys.
Night, my sweet guys.
Good night.
Sweet dreams, fellas.
# Livin' on fat pockets
on flat wit tha gat
# Rollin' around
a nine deuce Cadillac
# Still got my homies
to watch my back
# And they'll smoke ya ass
if you wanna come and chat
# Why wallow when you come
to roll on? I put the clip
# And before
I bring ya ass on
# Kickin ' dust on your head
like I bust
# My grip surrounded,
I'm about...
F***, yeah.
# When tha sh*t goes down
ya better be ready
# When tha sh*t goes down
# When tha sh*t goes down
ya better be ready
# When tha sh*t goes down
# When tha sh*t goes down
ya better be ready
Franco!
Good morning, sunshine.
Guys! Guys! Wake up!
Danny's alive! He's eating
all the f***ing food!
No!
Danny, man, don't.
Danny!
No, it's cool, man. I f***ing
made this for you guys.
Stop eating!
Don't eat another
piece of bacon.
Guys, just chill
the f*** out, okay?
f***ing afford some more bacon.
Dude, that sh*t's supposed to
last us till we get rescued!
Wait a second.
I know what happened.
You guys dropped acid,
didn't you? Mmm-hmm.
Craig doesn't have any pants
on. He got f***ing wild.
Probably danced, sweated
all over the place.
You got white sh*t all
over your mouth, Franco.
You probably sucked
somebody's dick.
Jonah over here probably
watched and jerked off.
Jay, I didn't even know you
were in town. Good to see you.
Danny, we're not on acid. We
didn't suck each other's d*cks!
James Franco didn't suck
any dick last night?
Now I know
y'all are tripping.
You actually not know
what happened last night?
Daniel, you may want to
stay seated for a second.
Some really
messed-up stuff happened,
and there were
a lot of fatalities.
Oh, really? You're putting
Okay, tell me about
these "fatalities. "
Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz
is dead, Michael Cera's dead.
Guess if Michael Cera's gone,
it's not a total loss, huh?
Jesus, Danny.
Michael Cera's dead.
What?
It's not like that.
It's not funny, man.
It's really not funny.
Seth, that's
a better performance
than you've given in
your last six movies.
Where the f*** was that
in Green Hornet, huh?
Jonah, you're f***ing
sucking balls.
You're an Academy Award
nominated person.
You need to be f***ing
selling that sh*t, dude.
"Fatalities.
There were some fatalities. "
Fatalities.
Okay, now that was good.
That was good.
Does it seem like
we're f***ing joking?
Hey, hey, hey! What the
f*** you eating, man?
Spit it out your mouth.
Give me the bacon!
Sh*t.
Sh*t, what do we do?
Shoot 'em!
Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em!
Should I shoot?
- Shut up, Franco!
- Shoot the door, Franco!
Oh, God!
Did you not hear me knocking out here?
I've been knocking forever.
Please! Please!
You've got to let me in!
Hang on a second.
What?
Guys, I know
but I don't think
we should let him in.
Why not?
Yeah, why not?
I can hear you, by the way.
I'm sorry.
We just don't know you, man.
You could be like, a looter, or a rapist,
or a tittie-f***er.
Like, I'm sorry.
Look, guys, we just boarded up this
whole house to keep everyone out,
and the first guy comes to the door,
we're gonna let him in?
I mean, how do we know
we can trust this guy?
I want to live!
Things have gone crazy out here!
"F***ing crazy out here!"
This guy f***ing sucks.
What if he's the rapist?
Man, even if he
is a rapist,
he can't rape all of us.
Yeah! No! So I'm not...
I'm not a rapist!
You want to tittie-f*** us?
If you want me to tittie-f*** you, I will!
So good! You'll love it.
Seth, back me up, please.
We can't just leave him out there to die.
Are you crazy?
What do you want to do?
I'll do whatever you want to do.
Let's vote on it.
Yeah, I f***ing vote
you let me in.
Here's my vote.
F*** all of you.
I'm letting him in.
This is boring.
There's something out here!
This is real!
This is f***ing real!
God damn it!
You guys!
This man was alive
a few seconds ago.
We can't play soccer
with his head!
Pick it up, Jonah!
What the f***
is going on?
He blinked at me.
He blinked at my face.
Seth, put it over there.
Oh, my God!
I got it.
I got it, guys.
There's blood
all over my floor!
Time to relax for a second.
Okay, someone should
look out the hole.
I ain't looking
out that hole!
Last person looked through that
hole got his head chopped off!
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whatever is
out there might still be out there.
Okay, I know, I know.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
There's a lookout!
Jesus Christ! Look, there's a
huge f***ing hole down there!
What the f*** is this?
Where's the thing
that killed the guy?
I don't know.
How'd his head
fall off?
And where's
the rest of him?
Hi.
This is James Franco,
in my house,
in my library.
We've been stuck here
for about 24 hours.
Danny McBride is here.
I didn't even
invite him to my party,
but he came and passed
out in the bathtub,
and I got to say it's, like,
typical f***ing McBride.
Like, I've been feeling
really weird about him lately.
Like, I don't really know if
I want to be friends with him,
and then he f***ing
showed up at my party,
and now, we're stuck here with
him in disaster lockdown, so...
What up?
What's going on?
Hey, Danny.
What's up, man?
Not much. What are you
doing? What is this?
Oh, it's just
a video confessional.
F*** that dude.
- Earthquakes cause tsunamis.
- Yes.
Tsunamis cause
other tsunamis, disaster.
I mean, for all we know, the
f***ing Lakers could have just won,
and that's the reason
why all this is happening.
Hole in Franco's front yard? Sinkhole.
Every single time I turn on the news,
sinkhole in South America.
Bunch of South Americans
getting sucked into the ground.
Sinkhole de Mayo.
Sinkhole de Mayo.
That's why it's
named that,
because sinkholes happen
in the summertime.
It's not wildfires. It's not earthquakes.
It's not sinkholes.
I think I know
what it is.
Let's hear it.
I think
it's the Apocalypse.
What?
I'm serious, boys. It's all in here,
in the Book of Revelations.
You took my Bible?
Well, just hear me out,
and you tell me that
what I'm describing
isn't what's
going on right now.
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"This Is the End" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/this_is_the_end_21800>.
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