This Is the End Page #5

That's it. It feels so

much more safe now, guys.

It's nice here.

Should we spoon it?

Yeah, you want to?

No!

Want to go...

Dick to butt?

No.

My butt to you

and then Jay.

I don't want to butt

to dick to anything.

Are you docking into me?

You're doing tip to me?

Or what

are you doing?

Should we go butt to butt or dick to...

Seth and I are

gonna go ass to ass.

Do you want to go

front to front?

No, I'm fine

just going d*cks up.

D*cks up?

I think I'm going dick

to ass. You know what?

I'm going

Scarface-style.

Both of you guys.

Wait, yeah.

There we go.

Yeah.

This is the best way.

Good night, boys.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night, guys.

Night, my sweet guys.

Good night.

Sweet dreams, fellas.

# Livin' on fat pockets

on flat wit tha gat

# Rollin' around

a nine deuce Cadillac

# Still got my homies

to watch my back

# And they'll smoke ya ass

if you wanna come and chat

# Why wallow when you come

to roll on? I put the clip

# And before

I bring ya ass on

# Kickin ' dust on your head

like I bust

# My grip surrounded,

I'm about...

F***, yeah.

# When tha sh*t goes down

ya better be ready

# When tha sh*t goes down

# When tha sh*t goes down

ya better be ready

# When tha sh*t goes down

# When tha sh*t goes down

ya better be ready

# Ya better be ready #

Franco!

Good morning, sunshine.

Guys! Guys! Wake up!

Danny's alive! He's eating

all the f***ing food!

No!

Danny, man, don't.

Danny!

No, it's cool, man. I f***ing

made this for you guys.

Stop eating!

Don't eat another

piece of bacon.

Guys, just chill

the f*** out, okay?

I'm sure the Green Goblin can

f***ing afford some more bacon.

Dude, that sh*t's supposed to

last us till we get rescued!

Wait a second.

I know what happened.

You guys dropped acid,

didn't you? Mmm-hmm.

Craig doesn't have any pants

on. He got f***ing wild.

Probably danced, sweated

all over the place.

You got white sh*t all

over your mouth, Franco.

You probably sucked

somebody's dick.

Jonah over here probably

watched and jerked off.

Jay, I didn't even know you

were in town. Good to see you.

Danny, we're not on acid. We

didn't suck each other's d*cks!

James Franco didn't suck

any dick last night?

Now I know

y'all are tripping.

You actually not know

what happened last night?

Daniel, you may want to

stay seated for a second.

Some really

messed-up stuff happened,

and there were

a lot of fatalities.

Oh, really? You're putting

your serious voice on, Jonah?

Okay, tell me about

these "fatalities. "

Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz

is dead, Michael Cera's dead.

Guess if Michael Cera's gone,

it's not a total loss, huh?

Jesus, Danny.

Michael Cera's dead.

What?

It's not like that.

It's not funny, man.

It's really not funny.

Seth, that's

a better performance

than you've given in

your last six movies.

Where the f*** was that

in Green Hornet, huh?

Jonah, you're f***ing

sucking balls.

You're an Academy Award

nominated person.

You need to be f***ing

selling that sh*t, dude.

"Fatalities.

There were some fatalities. "

Fatalities.

Okay, now that was good.

That was good.

Does it seem like

we're f***ing joking?

Hey, hey, hey! What the

f*** you eating, man?

Spit it out your mouth.

Give me the bacon!

Sh*t.

Sh*t, what do we do?

Shoot 'em!

Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em!

Should I shoot?

- Shut up, Franco!

- Shoot the door, Franco!

Oh, God!

Did you not hear me knocking out here?

I've been knocking forever.

Please! Please!

You've got to let me in!

Hang on a second.

What?

Guys, I know

it sounds really weird,

but I don't think

we should let him in.

Why not?

Yeah, why not?

I can hear you, by the way.

I'm sorry.

We just don't know you, man.

You could be like, a looter, or a rapist,

or a tittie-f***er.

Like, I'm sorry.

Look, guys, we just boarded up this

whole house to keep everyone out,

and the first guy comes to the door,

we're gonna let him in?

I mean, how do we know

we can trust this guy?

I want to live!

Things have gone crazy out here!

"F***ing crazy out here!"

This guy f***ing sucks.

What if he's the rapist?

Man, even if he

is a rapist,

he can't rape all of us.

Yeah! No! So I'm not...

I'm not a rapist!

You want to tittie-f*** us?

If you want me to tittie-f*** you, I will!

So good! You'll love it.

Seth, back me up, please.

We can't just leave him out there to die.

Are you crazy?

What do you want to do?

I'll do whatever you want to do.

Let's vote on it.

Yeah, I f***ing vote

you let me in.

Here's my vote.

F*** all of you.

I'm letting him in.

This is boring.

There's something out here!

This is real!

This is f***ing real!

God damn it!

You guys!

This man was alive

a few seconds ago.

We can't play soccer

with his head!

Pick it up, Jonah!

What the f***

is going on?

He blinked at me.

He blinked at my face.

Seth, put it over there.

Oh, my God!

I got it.

I got it, guys.

There's blood

all over my floor!

Time to relax for a second.

Okay, someone should

look out the hole.

I ain't looking

out that hole!

Last person looked through that

hole got his head chopped off!

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whatever is

out there might still be out there.

Okay, I know, I know.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

There's a lookout!

Jesus Christ! Look, there's a

huge f***ing hole down there!

What the f*** is this?

Where's the thing

that killed the guy?

I don't know.

How'd his head

fall off?

And where's

the rest of him?

Hi.

This is James Franco,

in my house,

in my library.

We've been stuck here

for about 24 hours.

Danny McBride is here.

I didn't even

invite him to my party,

but he came and passed

out in the bathtub,

and I got to say it's, like,

typical f***ing McBride.

Like, I've been feeling

really weird about him lately.

Like, I don't really know if

I want to be friends with him,

and then he f***ing

showed up at my party,

and now, we're stuck here with

him in disaster lockdown, so...

What up?

What's going on?

Hey, Danny.

What's up, man?

Not much. What are you

doing? What is this?

Oh, it's just

a video confessional.

F*** that dude.

- Earthquakes cause tsunamis.

- Yes.

Tsunamis cause

other tsunamis, disaster.

I mean, for all we know, the

f***ing Lakers could have just won,

and that's the reason

why all this is happening.

Hole in Franco's front yard? Sinkhole.

Every single time I turn on the news,

sinkhole in South America.

Bunch of South Americans

getting sucked into the ground.

Sinkhole de Mayo.

Sinkhole de Mayo.

That's why it's

named that,

because sinkholes happen

in the summertime.

It's not wildfires. It's not earthquakes.

It's not sinkholes.

I think I know

what it is.

Let's hear it.

I think

it's the Apocalypse.

What?

I'm serious, boys. It's all in here,

in the Book of Revelations.

You took my Bible?

Well, just hear me out,

and you tell me that

what I'm describing

isn't what's

going on right now.

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