This Is the End Page #6

"And the skies shall open up, and the

light of the Lord shall shine down,

"and those of good heart shall be brought

into my kingdom of heaven. "

That's the Rapture, those are the gigantic

beams of blue light.

"And there will be a great

mountain burning in fire. "

I mean, the Hollywood Hills are literally

engulfed in flames

as we sit here right now.

The Hollywood Hills ain't no mountain.

It's a hill.

Takes about 10 minutes

to get across

that motherf***er

with no traffic.

Coldwater.

I take Laurel Canyon.

Cahuenga.

Cahuenga.

I usually zip down Barham.

Boys, can I just f***ing finish?

I love Laurel Canyon.

"And out of the pit rose a great

red dragon having seven heads,

"that old serpent

called the devil and Satan,

"which deceiveth

the whole world,

"was released

onto the earth. "

I love that dude. He's from

Where the Wild Things Are.

It's a load of bullshit.

It's not bullshit.

Want to know

something else, Jay?

If this is

the end of the world,

and all the

good people died,

what you're saying is Seth,

me, Jonah, Craig and Danny

are a bunch of a**holes.

I'm straight-up

lovable, son.

And if this really

is the Apocalypse,

you're here, too.

So, that means you're just

as shitty as the rest of us.

Doesn't feel

too good, does it?

Hey, guys.

I'm going to sleep now.

Nobody come in here

and bother me.

Go fish.

Put it back

inside of here.

Do you know what it is? Yeah.

Now you ask me for

something that you need.

First bit.

You're not cutting it all?

That's smart. You're

divvying it up first.

This is like, Fruyere

or some sh*t. That's me.

Come on, Danny!

You licked your finger. Come on, man.

If they're all equal,

what does it matter?

Keep your hands

and fingers off.

Seth?

Yeah.

Can I talk to you for

a second? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no sh*t.

Here.

Off the menu, my man.

Holy sh*t, man.

Where did you get these?

Hey, what's cheese without a few

crackers? Know what I'm saying?

Hide it.

Okay.

'Cause we're a team.

Okay.

Freaks forever, brother.

Let's do all the drugs.

I don't really want to.

Should have thought of that before

you drank a can full of ecstasy.

What?

# Gangnam style

# Op, op, op, op, oppan

Gangnam style

# Gangnam style

# Op, op, op, op, oppan

Gangnam style

# Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

# Eh, sexy lady

# Op, op, op, op

# Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

# Oppan Gangnam style #

# I fly like paper,

get high like planes

# If you catch me at the border

I got visas in my name

# If you come around here,

I make 'em all day

# I get one down

in a second if you wait...

Should we call Red?

Get more weed?

Oh, I don't know, man.

That guy's gone crazy.

Good thing I have a lot of

f***ing weed for you guys.

I hooked you guys up.

Now I need you guys to assassinate

Woody Harrelson.

If pot's legalized,

my business will suffer.

And if my business suffers,

I suffer.

So much suffering.

All 'cause of that inbred hemp seed,

Woody Harrelson.

I have to do

what's right.

Weed is for the people.

It's the people's weed.

If you don't assassinate him...

We already quit.

...I'm gonna assassinate

both of you.

Run!

Go!

# And take your money

# All I wanna do is... #

B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.

forever.

B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.

Look out!

Sh*t!

You're letting them

get away!

I smoked weed

with Steve Jobs,

and that's when he came up

with the iPad.

It's pretty great.

We should make sequels

to more of our movies.

Yeah!

How 'bout we not

do Your Highness 2?

Yeah.

Do 128 Hours.

The beginning of the rest of

your comedies. Looks good.

Oh, my God!

Emma!

It's Emma.

Oh, my God,

you guys are alive.

You're actually alive.

Thank God!

I hid in a drainpipe

for days.

Like, three or four.

I don't even know how many.

And then I stopped

hearing people,

and I started hearing

growling noises.

Out there,

in your travels, uh,

did you see anything

that you would describe

as Apocalyptish?

I mean, no,

but, uh, I would say it's completely

obvious what's going on here.

I mean,

it's a zombie invasion.

F***! I'm the one who

said it's been zombies.

You said zombies?

I said zombies the whole time.

You said zombies? I don't think...

You never said zombies.

Wait a second.

You guys haven't been proven right.

These are still

just theories.

Honestly, I'm just so relieved

that you guys are here,

and I'm very happy about the

idea of sleeping and just...

You tired?

Yeah.

If you want to

take a little rest,

you're welcome to

do that upstairs.

Thank you.

Cool.

- I'll show you the way.

- Thank you.

Thanks, guys. Seriously,

you're awesome, really.

You're awesome.

So f***ing tight.

We'll be

right out here, okay?

F*** are you guys

doing out here?

Here's what I think we should do.

She's British, right?

She's used to eating

shitty food anyway.

Let's just give her all the shitty food

that we don't want.

That's f***ed up.

Look how tiny she is.

She's not even a full seven.

She's, like, half a seven.

This is a f***ing

cool thing, man.

I, for one,

am very excited.

I'm a massive

Harry Potterfan.

What? Yes. I love

f***ing Harry Potter.

I cannot wait

till she wakes up

and I can ask her all these amazing

questions about

how they made

those motion pictures.

Take it easy, Dumbledore.

Guys, listen, listen.

I think we need to

address the elephant

in the room.

Whoa. Jay, don't talk

about Craig like that.

That's f***ed up.

I'm right here, man. Yeah.

I'm not calling

Craig an elephant.

Wow, that's f***ing weird.

What does that even mean?

Yeah, no.

That's racist.

I wasn't

referring to him.

I was referring to the issue

that's on all of our minds.

What?

This is one girl

in a house with six males.

Yeah. Really safe.

Ideal scenario.

She's like

a little sister.

I think that

she needs...

It's important

that she feels safe.

Yeah.

And comfortable.

And we should

be mindful.

Who's making her

not feel safe?

Well, I'm just saying,

we should...

We don't want to

give off a bad vibe.

Vibe? Vibes? I ain't giving no vibes.

Yeah, wait, what kind of vibes

are you talking about, man?

He's talking about us

giving off a rapey vibe.

Hey! Shh!

Whoa! What?

Jesus. Jay, what the f***, man?

Chill out, dude.

Why you putting that

sh*t in the mix? Yeah.

He f***ing said it.

You're the one saying it.

No one here is thinking

about raping anyone.

Shh!

Well, you talking about vibes

is the only thing that's rapey

going on right now.

Dude, nothing was rapey

till you brought up the rapey vibes.

F***ing one who smelt it dealt it, dawg.

True that, dude.

One who denies it

supplies it.

I know,

it's farts, I get it.

Guys, guys, guys.

Jay's not rapey.

Jay couldn't rape a fly.

He probably could.

Maybe we should just stop this entire

conversation right now.

If anyone's gonna

rape anyone here,

it's probably

gonna be Danny.

What the f***, Franco?

What?

Why do you think

I'm gonna rape somebody?

I'm just trying

to lay it out there.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes