$elfie Shootout Page #8

---

of "selfie shootout."

- Hey!

- Hey!

- What's up?

- What's up?

Chub and bone, thank you...

- No! Thank you.

- Yeah, you.

You're awesome!

For allowing

the k-dik family

to broadcast what we feel

is going to be

major breaking news

around the world.

You make my dad very happy.

He loves k-dik's

breaking news format.

Okay.

Thumbs up to that!

Oh, oh.

And it is our pleasure

- to award one babe, woman...

- Or girl!

The opportunity

to snap her stuff

- and win one million dollars!

- Yeah!

Tonight is the biggest night

in all the selfie world,

and we're expecting

one spectacular shootout.

Chub and bone, any last

words before our pose off

and we award the unbelievable

one million dollar prize?

Bang, bang!

Let's get it on!

Boom!

What the what?

Yeah!

Okay, let the shootout begin.

First up is Amber.

There she is!

Yeah, look at those shoes!

- Shoes!

- They look expensive.

- Bang, bang.

- Hey, boys.

Hey, what's up?

Looking good!

The competition

is just heating up.

Next is one of

my personal favorites...

Tiffany!

- Yeah!

- Okay, stop it.

Yeah, Tiffany!

- Oh, ho!

- Yes!

- Looking good, looking good.

- Oh, yeah.

Strut those legs.

Get those legs, girl.

Snap it. Snap it, girl.

Oh, yeah. Nice.

Ooh, okay.

I almost got that one.

- Yep.

- Stunning, as in stun gun.

Ouch! I don't even know

what to say

about that tidy performance,

but then I'm not

the judge tonight.

- No, I am.

- Yes, you are.

Fellas, you ready

for number three?

- Yeah.

- Oh, yeah!

- I'm so ready!

- I mean, I'm good.

"Selfie shootout"

contest number three, please.

- Oh, yeah!

- Oh.

- Va-Va-voom!

- That's what I'm talking about!

- Hi, beautiful!

- Nice.

Whoa! That's what

I'm talking about.

- Sophisticated.

- Love it!

- Oh, hello!

- Oh!

What? Yeah!

I'm in that one!

- Me, too.

- Ha ha! Ooh!

It's been a really exciting

shootout to the death,

winner take all.

No money for second

or third place.

Judges, have you made

a decision?

Former FBI agent Zoey!

Oh, wow!

I didn't see that coming.

I did!

Thank you! Thank you!

Hi, beautiful.

These are for you.

- Oh!

- Oh, you're so handsome.

Oh, stop it.

That's my boy.

You must be very proud of him.

Oh, sure am.

Just made a beautiful girl

a millionaire,

and you got to bet he banked a

couple million for him and bone.

Impressive.

So impressive!

Never thought he had it in him.

He does. Ronnie?

Yes?

You want to take some selfies?

Oh, you mean

some selfie selfies?

Yeah.

- Oh!

- Aah!

All right, we got to go, guys!

Bye!

- So, hey, Amber...

- No.

Bye, Amber.

Hey, Tiffany,

you should have won.

I would have voted for you.

- Hey.

- Hey, bang, bang!

Bang, bang. Bye.

- Hey.

- Hey.

So now what?

Back to our humdrum lives? Hmm?

Uh, I guess.

Where have you been

the past couple days?

Just a phone call away.

God, you're beautiful.

Thanks.

I really did miss you.

Did you miss me?

Of course I did, sweetie.

What's this?

You gave me ten points?

You deserve it.

Aww.

Ten for Zoey.

I don't get it.

Well, it's a long story,

but you're my winner.

You're just such a great guy.

So now what?

Hmm, sweetie?

What do you want?

Really want?

- Honestly?

- Honestly.

I want a friend.

Someone I can count on,

- someone I can go to the...

- Stop.

But first,

you naughty little man,

there's something

you should know.

I'm a man.

Well, I'm not looking

for perfection.

That was amazing!

- How liberating.

- Wow. Unbelievable.

Um, why...

Why did you do all of this?

- I mean, I don't...

- Why?

- Yeah.

- I like you, chub.

You're a good soul.

And let's face it,

a girl can use an extra

non-traceable million.

And why not take a little extra

to pay off some debt?

I mean, why not?

After credit cards, you'll

have an extra 20,000 or so.

That's not too bad.

So, you like...

You really like me?

Uh-huh.

Is life great or what?

Mm-hmm.

Ooh!

- Oh!

- Yeah!

- Baby, you're hot.

- Shut up.

I love it.

I love it!

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