100 Bloody Acres Page #2

Oh, I hope you don't miss it, they're

only open third Sunday of the month.

What else we got?

Your own local mystery.

- Huh?

- That Salvo Six thing.

Oh, that was... really...

No, no it's Penny White Hill.

Really sad.

You and your boyfriend

should go check that out.

Boyfriends.

Oh, sorry. That just slipped out.

- I didn't mean to.

- Are you on to me?

Nah, nah, nah, no, I don't

know nothing about anything.

Look, I'm not an angel,

Reg, but I reckon,

on holiday, a pretty good girlfriend.

Yeah, of course you have.

You know what's like, right?

Sometimes in the heat of the moment

you do stupid things.

You never know then,

I reckon youse got to say

to hell with the consequences.

We are only flesh and blood.

And bone.

Hah, that's funny.

Hey, do you know what's on her?

Did I ever tell you about

a fat German backpacker

I caught crabs off Ibiza, man?

I had to shave my

balls and everything.

The last time I lower

my standards, man.

Sorry, what, your standards?

Hey, you may not think it, buddy,

but I've thought you've grown

up since I saw you guys last.

- Alright.

- Serious, man.

Staying in the world

that changes you.

But, it's not - it's not

all about the p*ssy.

It's about meeting new people,

sharing ideas.

You are a real citizen of the world

with your shaved balls.

Our spot is rather pretty good, huh?

So... you and Soph...

- Yeah, we're doing okay

- You've had a good run.

Yeah, that's great.

No Seven Year Itch, there?

You need to shave your

balls for that as well?

Yeah, I can recommend a balm.

I, uh...

Check this out, yeah?

Jeeze, man.

You mean business.

Gonna pop the question

tonight when John Butler is on.

Yeah, she loves the guy,

don't ask me why.

That's about the

gayest thing I ever heard.

Oh, Jesus, oh!

Jesus, f*** !

Hey, hey!

Hey, mate, mate, you alright?

Oh, sh*t, man, you're

completely f***ed up.

Well, he's f***ing dead!

So, is there a special lady

in Reg Morgan's life?

Ah, well, it's me Auntie Nance.

Oh, you mean like a...

Yeah, you know.

Yes, I do have a...

There is a, uh - uh,

a lady friend, actually.

Nice, what's her name?

Rebecca.

Becs, called her Becs.

Local girl?

No, she's a...

she's a... a slicker.

A bit like you, eh?

Hey, hey, turn it up.

- You like Slim?

- I love him.

Dad used to play this all the time.

I love having beer with Duncan

I love having beer with Dunc

Me drink in moderation

Well, maybe he'll just drop us off.

He doesn't know

that we have found it.

Are you kidding?

One mangled corpse

and three new victims.

This sh*t happens, man.

It happens all the time.

I mean, I don't know

what the statistics are.

It's up in my head, but... f***!

You go out into the bush

and you run every risk

of bumping into one of

these psycho hillbilly fucks !

First of all they, have

a little fun with you,

then they tie you up,

watch you squirm.

Then they start sticking

pencils up your arse

and setting fire to your cock!

Hey, we need to get him to pull over.

And it won't really matter

if the beer was flat

See, I'm a country girl at heart.

I love to have

a beer with Reggie

Cause Reggie's me mate.

Hey, you know what?

Maybe them bags can wait.

I'll just take you straight

to your festival thingy, huh?

Really?

That would be great.

Christ, here we go.

Hah!

Maybe we should pull over,

and give them some air.

Yeah, yup.

Alright, they win.

Let's pull over, and

see what they want.

Well, they can hold on a bit, eh?

Come on.

For your cousin country.

Well, just a quick breather, then.

Wait here, eh?

Sure, I'll keep an

ear out for the ad.

Hi, fellas.

Yes, it is a little pongy, isn't it?

Who is he talking to?

Hey mate, I just remembered

I've got this allergy

to marsupial furs.

I'm breaking out in a rash.

So, there you go,

you've had a bit of air!

Now, why don't you get back in and

I'll get youse to your festival ASPC.

Open the bloody doors, man!

How are you poofters doing back there?

The prof... the boys are doing fine.

Okay, I'll... I'll just close her up!

Keep your f***ing

hands off her, alright?

I'm not gonna do nothing,

but if you guys don't shut up!

This is completely f***ed.

Open the doors!

Hi, Reg, ads back on.

It's all comfy?

Now, let's just go to

your festival thingy!

Is everything okay?

It's all good.

Better get a move on, eh?

In your party.

Come on fingers.

Uh, come to think of it,

we gonna be going

past the plant anyway.

Might grab those bags after all, eh?

You're the one doing us a favor.

F*** you, Bernie.

Morgan's Organic, this is Lindsay.

Linds, Charlie Wick.

What's the holdup?

Still waiting for the delivery.

- Well, Reg isn't there yet?

- No, he's not.

You know I've got

to start plantin' today.

You know I've got ten

blokes sitting around here

scratchin' their balls.

A lot of stake with this crop.

For all of us, mate, for all of us.

You are a bloody winner with

that new blend, Linds.

but I gotta tell you,

the rep from Yates

is pretty keen for me business.

You get your bags, it's solved, mate.

Symbol of Morgan Brothers guarantee.

Hang on, I'll call you

back in two shakes.

- Here we are.

- Here we are.

Nice spot.

Yeah.

Shall I give you a hand?

Yeah. Ta.

Hey guys, what's happening out there?

Maybe we should let them out.

Yeah, we will be two ticks.

I just gave them some air.

You saw me back there.

Seriously, Reg

Stay away from him, Soph!

Soph, are you there?

- James!

- Let's just get the bags first.

Reg!

Charlie Wick phoned.

Still waiting on that...

Afternoon, Miss.

What's going on here?

This guy is dead!

There's a body in here!

He's f***ing nuts!

What are you doing?

Reg, Reggie mate!

Sh*t and derision.

This isn't funny!

I still haven't heard the ad.

Did you hear anything?

Don't know why Bernie

is holding out on us.

Who is that?

Oh, that's Sophie.

And who the f*** is that?

Their boyfriends.

No, mate.

Well, one of them is her boyfriend...

Oh, I don't know, it's complicated.

Oh... plus the dead fella

I found along

Jilljara Road this morning.

What f***ing f*** have you done?

We have some Freshies, Linds.

You've always said that if

the stars were maligned

we should just go through with it.

Like with the Salvo Six.

Those dionaeas were

already dead, f*** arse.

This kind of sh*t requires

careful planning and execution,

something which you failed

to accomplish on your own.

God knows who might have seen you.

No one saw nothing, Linds.

Now, come on, you're always saying

I got to be more initiative and stuff.

There is a chain of

command here, Reginald.

Maybe you forgot who runs this joint?

I'm just thinking of the business.

Now, I've seen how cut up he were,

fillin' up their new bling

bags with the old gear.

Now, we don't want to shock

our number one customer.

We don't do that sort of thing

here at Morgan Brothers.

Why do you think I keep

puttin' off the delivery?

What if Charlie's next crop

don't turn out like the last?

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